


Sweet Sacrifice

by charming1



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming Out, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:26:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 61,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charming1/pseuds/charming1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life has always been a constant struggle for eighteen year-old Justin Taylor.... until one fateful day at the diner, when he meets the man known as the Stud of Liberty Avenue, Brian Kinney, and both their lives are changed forever in a way that neither of them ever anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let the Sunshine In

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/predec2/media/charming1%20banner%20photos/SweetSacrifice_zps588aae9f.png.html)   
> 
> 
> Disclaimer: Queer as Folk and its characters are the property of Cowlip and Showtime. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Thank you Predec2 for the title suggestion and Marny for the beautiful banner!

“Here you go, Blondie,” a customer whispered into Justin’s ear as the man stuffed something into Justin’s back pocket, giving the blonde a pinch on the ass before walking towards the door.

Justin turned to look at the man, who gave Justin a wink before leaving the diner. Justin reached into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill, along with a receipt with a phone number written on it.

Debbie, who was passing by Justin after delivering plates to one of her tables, looked over Justin’s shoulder. “Got another one, I see.”

It was Justin’s first day working as a bus boy at the Liberty Diner and he had already received a dozen or so phone numbers, as well as nearly $50 in tips. Pretty impressive, considering he had come in at six on that Monday morning and had only been working for about three hours. He had already lost count as to how many times his ass had been pinched or smacked.

Justin sighed as he threw the receipt into his bus tub. “Do I have ‘Desperate for a Date’ written on my forehead or something?” he asked the older waitress.

“No, but with a bubble butt like yours, Sunshine, you’ll soon have the phone number of every man, single and taken, in the neighborhood,” Debbie said, patting Justin’s cheek before turning her head in response to the bell ringing over the door. “Wow, you look like shit,” she said to the new arrival.

Justin looked to see who Debbie was talking to and felt his already-tight blue jeans get a little tighter at the sight. The man, who was dressed in an expensive-looking gray suit with a burgundy shirt and tie, sat down in the booth that Justin had just finished clearing. The man’s chestnut-brown hair was stylishly tousled and he was clean-shaven. His only noticeable flaws were circles under his heavy-lidded eyes.

 _If this is him looking "like shit," how does he look when he’s rested?_  Justin wondered to himself.

“Nice to see you, too, Deb,” the man all but growled.

“Running a little late this morning, aren’t you?” Debbie asked the man. “Ted and Emmett left a few minutes ago; they got tired of waiting for you and had to get to work. Surely, you weren’t out sucking and fucking on a school night, were you?”

“Coffee, Deb... and don't call me Shirley,” the man said. Hearing Justin snicker at his  _Airplane!_  reference, he looked over and said, “Or, I’ll just take you to go. Fuck work.”

Justin blushed as Debbie informed the man, “He’s not on the menu. This is Justin; he just started this morning.” She then turned to Justin and said, “Justin, this is Brian.”

“Enchanté,” Brian cooed, reaching his right hand out to Justin.

Justin rubbed his slightly-greasy hand on his jeans before returning Brian’s handshake. He desperately searched his brain for an appropriate response but came up with nothing, despite the fact that he took French in school. Justin wasn’t even sure he could reply in English at the moment.

“Uh… Sunshine, why don’t you go and take those dishes to the kitchen?” Debbie suggested, referring to the blonde’s full bus tub.

Justin reluctantly pulled his hand away and did what Debbie asked.

“Sunshine,” Brian echoed as he watched Justin walk away, nodding in approval of the nickname and the blonde boy’s ass.

Debbie leaned forward and stuck a finger in Brian’s face. “You just better forget about it, Mister.”

“What?” Brian asked, attempting to look innocent.

“I’m warning you, Brian: leave that kid alone,” Debbie said in a stern voice before leaving to get Brian’s coffee.

********************

Brian turned the corner to walk to his office, hoping to sneak past his secretary, Cynthia, who was on the phone. No such luck.

“Yeah, he just walked in, hold on,” Cynthia said into the phone before putting the call on hold and looking at Brian. “It’s Michael, line two.”

Brian nodded before Cynthia added, “Oh, and Ryder wants you to come and see him. Whatever it is, he’s pissed about it.”

Brian sighed dramatically before walking into his office.  _I knew I should have worked from home today…_  he thought to himself. He shut the door behind him, sat down at his desk, and took the call.

“Hey, Mikey. How’s Portland? Have you stepped in any moose shit yet?” Brian asked in a bored tone.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Brian. I tried calling you all weekend, but I either kept getting your answering machine or voice mail,” Michael snarled.

“Busy, busy,” Brian said.

“Too busy out getting your dick sucked to even call me to see if I made it to Portland safely?”

“I’m sure I would have heard if you hadn’t,” Brian said as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He had actively ignored all of Michael’s calls over the weekend, not wanting to be reminded that his best friend was now on the other side of the country with a man that Brian could hardly stand. “Look, Mikey, I’ve gotta go. Ryder wants to chew my ass out, and not in a positive, life-affirming way.”

“Brian… I’m worried about you. I wish I hadn’t even left, especially after what I walked in on the other night-”

“Give my best to the doc,” Brian said tartly before hanging up the phone.

********************

After getting bitched at by his boss about some boards he wasn’t happy with - which resulted in Brian having to bitch at the people in the art department that created the boards - he decided to take his lunch hour at the diner. It was rare that Brian would eat lunch there right after having breakfast there, but he felt compelled to make an exception that day.

When he walked in and saw the new bus boy bent over a table, Brian realized why he had felt the need to come in. He walked over to the blonde, who was repositioning the condiments on the table.

Brian walked right up behind Justin, who hadn’t noticed he was there yet, and asked, “Are the buns fresh today?”

Justin quickly stood up straight, almost head-butting Brian in the process. “Oh... uh… hi,” the blonde stammered.

Brian chuckled at Justin’s obvious apprehension around him. He then looked around and asked, “Is Deb still here?”

“No. She had been here since midnight, and we all kicked her out before the lunch crowd came in,” Justin said.

“Yeah, she does tend to put in too many hours,” Brian remarked as he remembered a night a few months before when Debbie collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of the diner after putting in who know how many hours. “When does  _your_ shift end?”

“At twelve-thirty,” Justin answered before hanging his head, as if he was ashamed of what he was going to say next. “I have to be somewhere at one.”

“Okay,” Brian said as he took a seat in the booth. He then glanced down at his watch and noticed that it was a quarter after twelve.

Kenny the waiter, who had been appearing more and more womanly lately, sashayed by the table a moment later. “Hey, Brian. You want your usual?”

“Only if you let Sunshine here off a few minutes early so he can join me,” Brian said, giving Justin a little smile.

“Sure. He did a great job today,” Kenny said with a smile before walking away to put Brian's order in.

Justin shuffled his feet nervously for a few moments before taking his apron off and sitting down across from Brian. “What’s your usual?” he asked as he placed the apron on the seat next to him.

“Turkey sandwich on whole grain, no mayo, and Perrier with lemon, no ice.” Brian loosened his tie as he tried to relax on the lumpy old seat. “So, tell me a little about yourself. I’ve never seen you around here before."

 _Since when do I give a fuck about some random twink working at the diner?_  Brian asked himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

Justin thought about what he wanted Brian to know. “Um… well, I’ve never actually come to Liberty Avenue before or had a job, but I saw the want ad in the paper-”

“Why are you even working right now; why aren’t you in school?” Brian asked as Kenny dropped off his water. “You hardly look a day over twelve.”

Justin smiled. “I get that a lot… actually, I’m eighteen. I got my GED a few weeks ago, and I’m hoping to start taking classes at PIFA in January; that is, if I’m accepted.”

“You dropped out of high school?” Brian asked.

 _Christ, what’s with all the fucking questions, Kinney? Shit…_  Brian berated himself.

Justin bit his bottom lip before answering, “Yeah, uh… I’ve had some… problems.” He then grabbed the dirty apron and pulled himself out of the booth. “Look, I should get going.”

“Does it take you forty-five minutes to get to where you need to be?” Brian asked, wondering why the kid was trying to escape.

“No, but I…” Justin looked down at his feet. “I’ll see you later.”

Brian watched as Justin quickly made his way to the back of the diner and out the kitchen door.

********************

Justin stepped out of the elevator and walked over to the check-in desk. Rebecca, his favorite technician, greeted him with a smile.

“Hey Justin. You’re here early today.”

“Yeah, I got off work a little early, so I figured I’d come on over,” he answered.

“Oh, you found a job?”

“Um… yeah, it’s at a diner,” Justin replied, hoping she wouldn’t ask which diner. His parents didn’t even know where exactly he worked.

“Good for you. Well, you can come on back,” Rebecca said as she led the way to a small exam room. She took Justin’s blood pressure and had him step on a scale, then showed him into the large dialysis room.

Justin placed his messenger bag on the floor, sat on a cushy lounge chair, and waited while Rebecca got the machine ready.

“Hey, Sweetie,” the older lady in the chair next to him said.

“Hey, Annie,” he replied.

“So, did you get that job you were telling me about Friday?” Annie asked.

“Yeah. I went in there on Saturday afternoon, and they hired me on the spot,” Justin said proudly. “I started this morning and made a bunch of tips.”

“Way to go. At least it gives you something to do, other than mope around the house all day.”

“Yeah, I’ve done enough of that to last me a lifetime,” Justin said, chuckling. He then looked in Annie’s lap and noticed that she was reading J. R. R. Tolkien’s  _The Hobbit_. “You’re on the first book again?”

“Well, yeah. I go through them pretty quick, having to sit here fifteen hours a week,” Annie stated.

Justin’s heart went out to her, since he knew that Annie’s treatments had recently been increased to five hours each session because of higher fluid levels in her body. Justin could hardly tolerate sitting in the chair for his four-hour sessions. “How many times have you read the whole series?”

Annie thought about it for a few moments. “Hmm… probably eight or nine times. Granted, I only started reading the books about five years ago when my daughter bought them for me for my birthday.”

Justin shook his head as Rebecca walked around the chair to Justin’s left side. “Alright, Justin, are you ready?”

“I guess,” Justin said with a sigh. The first part of his treatment was always the worst. Even after all his years of being in and out of the hospital, he still hated being stuck with needles.

“I’ll go as quickly as I can,” Rebecca said in a caring voice.

Justin laid his head back and closed his eyes as the two needles were jabbed into his left arm. He whimpered as the second one went in, but sighed happily once they were in place. Rebecca applied a few pieces of tape to keep the tubing in place, and then hit the switches to start the dialysis machine.

“Here we go. I’ll come to check on you in a bit,” Rebecca said before departing.

“I’ll be right here,” Justin called out to her sarcastically.

After chatting with Annie for a few more minutes, Justin pulled his sketchbook out of his bag and flipped to a blank page. He knew exactly what he wanted to draw that day, and he smiled to himself as he pictured Brian’s face in his mind.


	2. Mamma Mia!

Justin let himself into the house around five-thirty that evening and found his mother cleaning up the kitchen. He noticed a pan of lasagna cooling on the counter.

“Hi, Honey,” Jennifer said to her son, giving him a kiss on his cheek. “How did your treatment go today?”

“My iron level is still too low, so they want me to double my usual dose,” Justin said as he opened the refrigerator door and grabbed the orange juice. He didn’t know why his mother went to the trouble of cooking a big casserole when she knew he usually had a poor appetite after his dialysis treatments.

Jennifer retrieved a glass out of the cupboard and reached out to take the juice carton from him. Justin held tight to the carton and grabbed the glass out of her hand. “I can do it.”

She watched as he poured his juice, his hands shaking slightly. “Why don’t you go upstairs and lay down, and I’ll bring you up a plate in a bit?”

Justin shook his head. “I’ll have some crackers or something before I go to bed later.”

Jennifer pressed her lips together for a moment before saying, “You really should eat a real dinner, Sweetheart.”

“I’m not hungry,” Justin replied forcefully as he put the juice away. He then carried his glass up to his room, his mother trailing behind him.

“How was your first day at your new job?” she asked.

He sat down on the corner of his bed. “Fine.”

“Are your coworkers nice?”

Justin gulped down some of his juice before answering. “Yes.”

Jennifer waited for a few seconds to see if he was going to give her any details. “So… you didn’t tell me exactly where this diner is,” she finally said.

“I said that it’s on the other side of town,” Justin mumbled as he looked down at his left arm, which was a bit bruised and sore from his treatment.

“Well, that’s not very specific,” Jennifer griped. “What’s the name of the place? And I don’t understand why you felt the need to get a job, anyway. I know that your doctor cleared you to work, but-”

Justin finished his juice before standing up and handing the empty glass to Jennifer. “Will you take that to the kitchen? I’m going to take a shower. I stink.”

Jennifer stood with a confused expression on her face as her only child pushed past her on his way to the bathroom.

********************

It was almost ten before Brian pulled the door open to his loft. After taking a long shower and dressing in a white wife beater and a pair of worn jeans, he grabbed his bottle of Jim Beam and plopped down onto his couch.

Brian sat there debating whether he wanted to go out or just stay home and drink until he passed out like the last two nights when his house phone began to ring.

He let it ring until his answering machine picked up. “Bri-aaaan,” Emmett sang out, loud music playing in the background. “Me and Teddy are at Babylon, wondering if you’re going to grace us with your presence tonight. We haven’t seen you since your birthday. Helloooo?” Emmett waited a few moments before sighing. “Well, if we don’t see you at the diner tomorrow morning, we’ll come by the loft to make sure you’re not a bloated corpse. Ta-ta.”

Hearing Emmett mention the diner made Brian think about Justin, wondering if he would see the hot little blonde again the next morning. Then he wondered why the fuck he was even thinking about the kid. Justin wasn’t at all like Brian’s usual type, so he couldn’t fathom why the boy was on his mind. Could it be that he was growing tired of the usual tall, dark, and handsome package?

Whatever it was, the fact remained that Brian preferred his men to be experienced, and he could tell by looking that Justin was untouched goods. He could practically smell the innocence on him, even through the bacon grease clogging the air of the diner that day. But, for some reason, that peaked Brian’s interest. Teaching the young lad everything he knew about the fine art of fucking was an intriguing thought.

That, and the sight of the boy’s hot little body would make any fag swoon…

Brian swallowed a big mouthful of whiskey before sitting down in his computer chair. He spent some time on a local gay hook-up site, chatting with a few guys, but none of them interested him. The thought of going to Babylon without Michael, along with the possibility of running into Ted and Emmett, wasn’t very appealing at the moment. Even if he spent a large percentage of the evening in the backroom, being out on the dance floor without his best friend wouldn’t be much fun.

Although he and Michael usually went with Ted and Emmett, the latter two were no substitute. In reality, Brian only hung around them because they were friends with Michael. Ted bored the shit out of him and Emmett usually embarrassed him with his blinding flame.

He was about to log off and put a movie in when the phone rang again. He let it go to the answering machine like the last call.

“Brian,” Michael said through what sounded like clenched teeth. “You know, the point of having a cell phone is so that people can get a hold of you wherever you are.” Brian rolled his eyes and continued to listen to his friend nag him. “There’s no point in having one if you turn it off and never return your messages. Before I left, you promised that we would talk every single day. You better fucking call me tomorrow... or at least not hang up on me the next time you actually pick up the phone.”

About five minutes later, Brian was watching the beginning of  _Scarface_  when the phone rang once again.

“Son of a bitch!” Brian screamed, his voice echoing in the large area of his loft. “Can’t a man spend one fucking night alone in peace?!”

This time, it was Debbie’s voice coming from the machine. “Dammit, Brian, where the fuck are you? Michael just called me, saying that it’s probably easier to speak to the fucking Pope than to you. Are you there? Hello? If you don’t pick up this phone right now, you asshole, I swear to God, I’m coming over there and I’m going to knock on your door until-”

Brian jumped out of the chair and raced to the phone. “Yeah?”

“I thought that would make you pick up,” Debbie said smugly.

Brian fought the urge to scream. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, Honey. Um… Michael told me about how he found you the other night.”

Brian squeezed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course he did.”

“He said that you promised that you would never do anything like that again, but I… I just want you to know…” Debbie paused to sniffle, her voice cracking as she continued. “You can come to me if you need someone to talk to. As much as you piss me off sometimes, I love you like a son, you know.”

Brian smiled a bit. “I know. Don’t worry about me, Ma. I’m fine.”

Debbie sighed. “Well, whether you like it or not, I’ll always worry about you. Especially since you don’t have Michael here anymore to keep an eye on you.”

“I can take care of myself, thank you,” Brian countered. “I’m thirty years old. I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

“Wow… you actually admitted how old you are,” Debbie said with a snort.

“Goodnight, Deb,” Brian said before hanging up and taking another swig of whiskey.

********************

Brian pushed the door to the diner open on Tuesday morning and walked in. He glanced around the room, telling himself that he was looking for Ted and Emmett, but in reality, he was looking for the new twink bus boy.

He heard Emmett before he saw him. “Oh, my God, it’s alive!” the big ol’ queen yelled from the booth farthest from the door.

Brian gave up his search for Justin and went to join Ted and Emmett. “Morning, boys,” Brian mumbled as he sat down next to Ted.

“We didn’t see you at Babylon last night,” Ted stated.

Brian looked up and spotted Justin returning from the kitchen with an empty bus tub in his hands. Justin smiled at Brian as he walked past him to clear a table towards the front of the room.

Brian pivoted in his seat to watch Justin walk away. “That’s because I wasn’t there, Captain Obvious. But I’m sure you didn’t need me to help you prop up the bar.”

Emmett watched Brian’s wandering gaze. “Isn’t he the cutest thing you ever saw? He just started yesterday.”

“Hmm?” Brian said as he turned back around, being pulled back to present company.

“The bus boy,” Emmett said. “I think his name is Justin.”

Knowing that he had been caught staring, Brian tried to act indifferent. “He’s alright,” he said with a shrug.

Ted turned around to take a peek at Justin, who looked like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch commercial. “Christ, he looks like he’s in junior high. What the fuck’s he doing here? Shouldn't he be on the monkey bars or something?”

“He’s eighteen and he got his GED a few weeks ago,” Brian said, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Emmett’s eyebrows shot up. “And how do you know that? Did you talk to him?”

Brian shrugged again. “For like, a minute yesterday.” To get off the topic of Justin, Brian looked around and found Debbie talking to a man sitting at the counter. “Hey, Deb! Can I get some coffee over here?”

Half the diner witnessed Justin nearly break his neck as he raced around the counter. “I’ll get it, Debbie!” he yelled.

Emmett giggled as Justin walked over with a steaming coffee cup in his hand, depositing it in front of Brian. “Now that’s top-notch service!” Emmett remarked.

Justin gave Emmett a guilty smile before turning to leave. Before he could take a step, however, Brian snagged him by the bottom of his shirt.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Brian asked as he stared into Justin’s surprised blue eyes.

“Um… no,” Justin replied, trying to keep his cool.

 _Holy shit… is this God asking me out_? he wondered to himself.

“Do you want to go to Babylon with us?” Brian asked, being sure to say  _us_ rather than  _me_ , so it wouldn’t sound like a date.

“What’s that?” Justin asked in an innocent tone.

Emmett gasped dramatically. “What’s…  _what’s that_?!” he nearly shrieked as he clutched his imaginary pearls. He took a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s only the hottest gay dance club in town!”

“Oh,” Justin replied, feeling like an idiot. “Uh… don’t you have to be twenty-one to go to those places?”

Brian, Ted, and Emmett all chuckled. “You’ll be with us, so they’ll let you in. Just don’t take any candy from strangers,” Brian said with a smile.

“Yeah, they frown upon little blonde twinks who pass out on the bathroom floor,” Emmett said, chuckling. He realized his gaffe at the same time Ted sucked in a breath, his spine stiffening. “Oh, shit… I’m sorry, Teddy.”

Ted looked down and nodded before reaching for his wallet and throwing some bills on the table. “Will you let me out, Bri?” Brian got out of the booth long enough for Ted to get out. “I’ll pick you up at nine, Em,” Ted mumbled.

“Have a good day at work, Baby,” Emmett called out as Ted made his exit.

Justin looked over at Emmett, who was on the verge of tears. “What was that about?” Justin asked.

“I accidentally opened up a can of worms named Blake,” Emmett answered sadly.

Justin then looked at Brian, hoping he would elaborate. Brian waved his hand before saying, “If you spend more than five minutes with Theodore, I’m sure he’ll tell you the whole gory story.”

“Blake’s his ex-boyfriend,” Emmett said. “Teddy found him passed out in the bathroom at Babylon one night after he overdosed on crystal meth, and then he took him home with him after he got out of the hospital.”

“Or, if you spend more than five minutes with Emmett…” Brian droned before taking a sip of his coffee.

“A few days ago, Teddy took Blake to rehab, but Blake checked out a couple hours later and Teddy has no idea where he is now,” Emmett continued. Brian raised his eyebrows in surprise, for that was the first he had heard of Blake’s departure. “He’s been trying to cope, but-”

“He should be celebrating, not mourning,” Brian cracked. “The little crystal freak did him a favor by leaving.”

Emmett clicked his tongue. “Well, I’m inclined to agree with you, as I’m certainly no fan of Blake’s, but I just hate to see Teddy so depressed.”

“How can you tell the difference from his regular mood?” Brian asked, earning himself a middle finger from Emmett.

“Sunshine!” Debbie yelled. “Those tables aren’t going to bus themselves, you know!”

Justin jumped, suddenly remembering he was on the clock. “Oh. I’d better get back to work.”

“So, how about you meet me here at little after nine, and then we’ll meet up with Lucy and Ethel at Babylon?” Brian said to Justin.

Justin smiled. “I’ll be here.”


	3. At the End of the Day

Justin parked across the street from his best friend Daphne Chanders’s house a little after three that afternoon, waiting for her to get home from school. He smiled when he saw Daphne’s little blue car turn the corner at the end of the block a few minutes later and he got out of his car, which was his mom's old car that she gave to Justin for him to get to his treatments, and met her in the driveway.

“Hey,” Daphne greeted, giving Justin a kiss on the cheek. “How was work today?”

“Fine. How was school?” 

Daphne made a face that was a cross between a snarl and frown. “It’s the last week before finals, so everyone is acting more juvenile than usual. At least it seems that they’re over talking about the prom.”

She unlocked the front door of her parent’s house and let them both inside. “Are you bummed you didn’t go?” Justin asked.

“Nah. I had more fun with you that night than I ever would have had with those yahoos at St. James,” Daphne said with a smile.

Although Justin had offered to take her to her prom the previous weekend, she decided not to go. Instead, the two of them went to their local roller skating rink and then to a midnight showing of Hitchcock’s  _Psycho_ at the revival theater, which was scheduled to be torn down the following week.

“So, did you see him again today?” Daphne asked as they made their way upstairs to her room.

Justin knew exactly what  _him_  she was referring to, since he had spent an hour the previous evening raving about Brian on the phone with her. “Yeah, and you’ll never guess what happened!”

“What?” Daphne asked, perking up at her friend’s excited tone - one that she didn’t hear too often.

He grabbed her hands and dragged her over to the bed. She needed to be sitting down for this. “He asked me out!”

“He what?!” Daphne screamed.

“Yeah! He invited me to a dance club on Liberty Avenue tonight.”

“Oh, Justin, I’m so happy for you!” she said as she grabbed her friend into a tight hug. “Which club?”

“Babylon.”

“I’ve heard about that place. It’s where all the hottest guys go,” Daphne informed him.

“How would you know?” 

“I read about it in  _Pittsburgh Out_.”

“Since when do you read that… and why?” Justin asked, puzzled.

The one time he tried to read the magazine, which he had flipped through at a gas station a couple of blocks away from Liberty a few months before, he quickly put it down after seeing that it was full of personal ads. He hadn’t been looking for a date; he was looking for some guidance.

“My best friend is gay,” Daphne said, although he certainly didn’t need to be reminded of that fact. “I’m trying to keep current.”

Before beginning his job at the diner, Daphne was the only person that Justin had shown his true self to. He had known from a very young age that he wasn’t like the other boys. Instead of running around outside and getting dirty, he liked playing house when his female cousin around his age would come over to play, and he remembered crying when his father refused to buy him a doll for his sixth birthday. He instead received a train set, which his father took more enjoyment in than he did.

When the boys at school started noticing other girls in middle school, Justin never saw what they saw. So they were growing boobs, big deal. Once he began going to St. James Academy in his freshman year, which required them to take showers after gym class, he realized that he was attracted to other boys.

Not being able to take those communal showers was the only thing he missed about high school, along with art classes.

He had finally come out to Daphne, who he had been friends with since sharing a classroom in the third grade, the year before and was surprised to hear that his news didn’t surprise her. The fact that he was the only guy she knew that wasn't trying to fuck her was one indication, along with his taste in movies and music. It seemed like Justin had everyone else fooled, or else nobody had the guts to question his sexuality. His parents had been under the belief that Daphne was his girlfriend for quite a while, and he never corrected them.

“What do you plan on wearing tonight?” Daphne asked him.

“I don’t know… I mean, what do guys wear to those places?”

Daphne reached under her bed and grabbed the latest  _Out_. She flipped through a few pages and pointed to a store advertisement. “Why don’t we go here? I’m sure we could find you something hot to wear.”

********************

“Brian, Michael is on line one,” Cynthia informed Brian on the intercom.

“Tell him I’m on a call with a client,” he said.

Cynthia sighed. “Brian… I know it’s none of my business, but-”

“That’s right, it’s not,” Brian barked before pushing the button on the phone to cut her off.

He didn’t like making Cynthia lie to Michael for him, but it was easier than telling him that he didn’t want to talk to him. He had received an email from Michael that morning with several pictures of his and David’s new house in Portland, along with another request to give him a call, day or night. Michael had only been gone for four days, but he was acting as if it had been months and hadn’t heard a peep from Brian the whole time. Sure, they had seen or spoken to each other nearly every day before Michael had left Pittsburgh, but now that he was gone, Brian decided that it was better that Michael just accept the fact that his new life with David didn’t include him.

Brian leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He recalled the last time he had seen Michael, which was the night before he had gotten on the plane to Portland:

“If I want to experience the joys of scarfing, what the hell business is it of yours?” Brian had asked Michael after his friend had walked into the loft and found Brian trying out autoerotic asphyxiation for the first time.

“It’s my business because I’m the one who will get the call saying that the God damned cleaning lady found you hanging from the rafters with a fucking boner!” Michael answered.

In his drunken and drugged state, Brian had found that possibility to be hilarious. Sure, he knew that what he was doing could kill him, but after turning thirty the day before and knowing that Michael would be leaving the next day, he didn’t care if it did or not. The fact that he could have left his son without a father didn’t really faze him. Gus wasn’t even a year old yet, so the kid wouldn’t remember him. Besides, Gus had two parents raising him, so he didn’t need him. Brian knew from personal experience that a kid was better off without having a selfish asshole for a father.

He had chuckled before saying, “Fuck you, Michael. Fuck. You. Why do you always have to ruin everything?!”

“Ruin? I’m saving you!”

Brian had told Debbie on the phone the night before that he didn’t need a babysitter. Even as he said it, he knew that it was bullshit.

That night hadn’t been the first time that Michael had saved Brian from himself. Brian couldn’t count the number of times over the years that he had needed Michael to help him home from a club or a bar. He probably would have killed himself in a car accident long before if it hadn’t been for Michael taking his keys and driving him back to the loft. Some nights, Michael had to stay up with Brian in the bathroom while making sure he didn’t choke to death on his own vomit like John Bonham or Bon Scott both did.

With all the shit that he had put Michael through, Brian had no clue why the man even wanted him in his life. It was no wonder why he had left town.

Brian pulled himself out of his walk down memory lane and asked Cynthia to get a hold of the Incompetent Twins, Bob and Brad, and send them to his office to begin their daily round of terrible pitches. Nine o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.

********************

Justin and Daphne pushed their way through the door of Torso and were immediately greeted by the salesperson.

“Hey there, Cutie!” Emmett said to Justin.

“Hi… Emmett, is it?” Justin asked.

“Yep, that’s right,” Emmett answered with a gap-toothed smile. Looking at Justin’s friend, he asked, “Who’s your fag hag?”

Justin and Daphne both laughed. “This is Daphne.” Turning to Daphne, Justin informed her, “I met Emmett at the diner yesterday.”

“I only eat there like, every day, so you’ll be seeing plenty of me!” Emmett said. “What can I help you with today? Are you looking for something to wear to Babylon?”

“Yeah… I have some clothes that might be okay to wear, but I’m not sure,” Justin said apprehensively.

“Oh, don’t worry, Sweetie. You’d look adorable in just about anything.” Emmett pulled Justin over to a clothing rack and started pulling items for him to try on.

A half hour later, Justin settled on a tight black shirt that was so thin it was almost see-through and a gray pair of pants that, according to Emmett, made his ass “pop like nobody’s business.”

“Let’s hope that Brian guy is an ass man,” Daphne said.

Emmett smiled. “Honey, you have no idea…”

********************

After retrieving Justin from the diner a quarter after nine that evening, Brian led the blonde down the street to Babylon. They weren’t even in the club yet, but already Justin was gawking at the sights around him.

“Wow… I’ve never been out here at night before,” Justin said, his eyes wide.

Brian chuckled. Looking at Justin, he felt like he was watching a kid in a candy store, and it reminded him of his first night on Liberty Avenue twelve years before and how nervous he was. Of course, Brian never outwardly showed his anxiety, but that was okay because Michael queened out enough for both of them.

Once the two of them turned into the alleyway towards the entrance of Babylon, Justin frowned at the length of the line outside. Despite it being a Tuesday night, the joint was sure to be packed.

“Aww, man… how long do you usually have to wait to get in?” he asked Brian.

“Wait?” Brian said with a snort. “I never have to wait in line.”

A moment later, the pair spotted Ted and Emmett standing towards the back of the line. Those two, on the other hand, knew what it was like to wait in line.

“Brian!” Emmett yelled, waving his arms while he and Ted jogged over towards them. It wasn’t at all necessary for Emmett to announce his presence, as he could be spotted a mile away in the lime green pants he was wearing.

True to his claim, the bouncer let Brian and his guests in ahead of the others in line, which left Justin to wonder what made Brian so special compared to all the others who had to wait to get in. Sure, he was the hottest guy Justin had ever seen, but…

Justin lost all train of thought once he stepped onto the dance floor. He was nearly blinded by the flashing multi-colored lights and deafened by the pulsating music blaring from the sound system. He followed the guys over to the left side of the room, which was where the large bar was situated.

“What do you want to drink, Baby?” Emmett yelled to him over the music.

Justin bit his lip nervously. Being on dialysis, he knew he shouldn’t ever drink alcohol, smoke, or put any other toxins in his body. He wasn’t comfortable sharing his health problem with people he hardly knew, however. “Um… just a bottled water would be fine.”

Brian leaned in close to Justin’s ear. “Get whatever you want. It’s on me.”

Justin turned to look up at Brian, who was now standing close enough that Justin could taste the cigarette Brian smoked on the walk over. “No, I… I shouldn’t. I’m not old enough,” he replied.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Half the guys in here aren’t old enough. Hell, I probably had my first drink when I was eight. My old man would send me into the kitchen to get him a beer, and he would say, ‘Feel free to open that for me!’”

Justin raised his eyebrows. His mother wouldn’t even let him rinse with Listerine, she was so anal.

 _What kind of parent would actually encourage their kid to drink alcohol?_  he wondered.

Wanting to impress Brian, he figured a few sips of something tame wouldn’t do much harm. “I’ll… I’ll just take a light beer.”

A few moments later, Brian handed him a Miller Light. “Don’t ever sit your drink down unless you’re done with it, and only take open drinks from the bartender or someone you know,” he warned.

Justin nodded and took a tiny sip of his beer. He didn’t want to imagine what people slipped into other people’s drinks in that place. “Thanks,” he said to Brian, trying not to make a face at the bitter taste in his mouth.

_How do people drink this shit? Blech!_

Brian gave him a little grin before knocking back half of his own beer. Justin watched the man's throat move as Brian swallowed and felt his mouth fill with saliva. He never knew that watching another man knock back a brewskie could look so sexy…

He was pulled away from his gaze by Emmett grabbing him by his free hand. “Come on, Baby, let’s go shake our booties!”

Before he could object, Justin was being led to the center of the dance floor. When Emmett let him go, he couldn’t see Brian any more. He danced with Emmett for a bit, but he was still looking in the direction of the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of Brian through the sea of gyrating men.

“What’s wrong?” Emmett asked, noticing that Justin was distracted.

“I should go back to Brian.”

Emmett laughed. “Trust me, Sweetie, between me, Brian, and Teddy, I’m the only one who can dance!”

Justin smiled and took a few moments to watch Emmett, who had his arms raised as his head, shoulders, and hips moved in time with the music. “You certainly know what you’re doing out here, but… I came with Brian tonight-”

Emmett placed a hand on Justin’s cheek. “Oh, Honey… did you think that you and Brian were on a date?”

Justin gripped his beer bottle as he twisted his face in confusion. “Well, yeah. I mean, you were there when he asked me-”

“Honey, Brian doesn’t date. I doubt that man has ever  _been_  on a date.”

“Then why did he ask me to come here tonight?” Justin asked.

“Honey…” Emmett cooed.

He didn’t let Emmett finish that  _Honey_  and instead turned to walk back to the bar to find Brian. He was pelted with comments on his looks and dance requests, all of which he ignored. Once he found his way back to the bar, Brian had disappeared. Ted, however, was leaning against the bar, looking like a sad puppy.

“Where’d Brian go?” Justin asked Ted.

Ted shrugged. “Probably to the back room, as always.”

“What’s the back room?”

Ted smirked. “It’s the kingdom of the Stud of Liberty Avenue. The Great God Kinney.”

“Who’s that?” Justin asked innocently.

“You really are new around here, aren’t you? I’m talking about Brian… you didn’t know that his last name was Kinney?”

Justin shook his head. Although he could accurately draw the man’s face from memory, what he knew about Brian couldn’t fill up a Post-It.

Ted stepped closer to Justin as he began to wax poetically. “Look around… Brian has probably fucked half the guys in this room and turned down the other half. He doesn’t even have to try; his legend precedes him. Even the beefiest tops in town want to be fucked by him. And to top it all off, he’s rich. The guy probably spends more on ties than I spend on a whole fucking outfit…”

As if he knew he was being talked about, the Great God suddenly appeared through the crowd, a smug little smile on his face. He yelled to the bartender to get him a shot before saying to Justin, “Hey, Sunshine. Did you enjoy your little do-si-do with Emmy Lou?”

“Uh… sure,” Justin said, not knowing how the fuck to act now. He hoped that Ted was just exaggerating and only talking out of jealousy over Brian’s better looks and nicer wardrobe. He sat his beer on the bar and said to Brian, “I think I should get going.”

“Why? We just got here,” Brian said, trying his best not to appear disappointed. The only place he had planned on Justin going that night was home with him. “Do you have to get up early for work tomorrow?”

“I’m off tomorrow, but I was up at five this morning and I’m pretty tired,” Justin said as he began to back away towards the door.

Brian shrugged. “I guess I’ll see you around, then.”

Justin nodded and turned to leave, forcing himself not to burst into tears until he got back to his car.


	4. You Okay, Honey?

Brian moaned when he felt the hot, wet mouth close over his morning wood. He knew after seeing Justin’s plump, rosy lips that the boy was born to be a cock sucker. Brian reached down to run his fingers through Justin’s blonde hair.

He jumped in surprise when he instead felt a bald head under his hands. “What the fuck?” he yelled, which caused the man servicing his cock to look up at him.

“You okay, Honey?” the man, who Brian vaguely remembered bring home with him from Babylon sometime after midnight, asked.

Although Brian was rarely one to turn down a blow job, he also rarely ever let a guy spend the night or get an encore performance the next morning. “Get the fuck out of here!” he yelled to the bald man.

“Can I take a shower-”

“No!” Brian shouted as he picked the man’s jeans and t-shirt from the floor and threw them at him. “I said, get the fuck out!”

The man quickly put his clothes on while muttering something about the best fucks being the biggest assholes as Brian, wearing nothing but his cowry shell bracelet, walked across his loft to open the door for his unwelcome guest to leave through.

He received his second surprise of the morning when he found Ted and Emmett standing on the other side of the doorway. Both men shamelessly looked down to check out Brian’s dick just as Baldie made his exit.

“Oh, quit gawking. You’ve both seen it in the locker room,” Brian snarled.

“And in the backroom, and the alley behind Woody’s-” Emmett began to list.

Brian held up his hand to shut the other man up. “What the fuck are you two doing here at this hour?” Not that he knew exactly what hour it was, but neither Ted nor Emmett was rarely over at his loft when the sun was up… or down.

Emmett pushed Ted to get him to walk into the loft, Emmett following. Both men stood in the foyer awkwardly while Brian threw on some shorts.

“Uh…” Emmett began. “When Teddy and I were in the car after leaving Babylon last night, we realized that we fucked up.”

“What, did you give each other handies in the bathroom?” Brian asked.

Ted and Emmett both sputtered. “No!” Ted yelled. “We had noticed that Justin left the club pretty early, and we realized that we may have had something to do with it.”

Brian had wondered what had gone on while he had taken his first trip to the backroom to make Justin leave so quickly. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

“We didn’t  _do_  anything,” Emmett said. “But we both said some things to him that may have… scared him away.”

“About what?” Brian asked.

“About your… reputation,” Ted answered. “Long story short, he now probably thinks you’re the biggest whore in town.”

Emmett snorted. “Not that he’s wrong…”

Ted and Emmett both chuckled while Brian closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He then walked over and grabbed both men by their shoulders, steering them towards the door. “Well, thanks for telling me, boys, but I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t recover from.”

Once the two men were gone, Brian showered and got dressed for the office. He spent a few minutes being angry at his two “friends” for running their big fucking mouths, but calmed down after he realized that Justin would have found out about his legendary reputation sooner or later.

And why the fuck should he care what some little blonde twink thought of him? Justin was no different than any other potential trick. Sooner or later, Brian would fuck him and the boy would be history, nothing but another wet spot on his sheets for his laundry service to wash out.

Knowing that Justin wasn’t going to be at the diner that day, Brian stopped by Starbucks on his way to work. He spent most of his morning wondering why he let a bus boy’s work schedule decide where he would get his morning coffee and why the hell he woke up thinking about the boy, but he was pulled out of his thoughts when Cynthia’s voice came over the intercom.

“Brian, Michael is on line two.”

He rolled his eyes. When was the man going to give up? If he knew Michael- and he did- never. “Tell him-”

“ _I’m_ not telling him anything,” Cynthia said sternly. “He’s  _your_  friend. You talk to him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Brian said, mildly impressed with his secretary’s ballsy attitude. He picked up the phone and punched the button to answer. “Hey, Mikey.”

“Let me guess,” Michael said in an annoyed tone. “You’re in the middle of a very important meeting and you’ll have to call me back, although you won’t call me back.”

Brian sighed. “I  _am_  at work, you know. I don’t come to the office for the hell of it.”

“It’s the only number of yours that actually gets answered!” Michael yelled. “But, fuck, I’ve talked more with your secretary than with you since I’ve been gone!”

“Did you only call to bitch at me like some disgruntled little housewife? Because I don’t have time for this shit!” Brian growled into the phone.

“Oh, so you had plenty of time to take some infant to Babylon with you last night, but you don’t have time to talk on the phone with your best friend?” Michael asked angrily.

Brian opened his mouth to retort, but decided not to feed Michael’s little green monster. He should have known that Ted or Emmett would have told Michael about Justin, as it had been completely out of character of Brian to invite a guy to Babylon. He didn’t feel like explaining himself to Michael, mostly because he couldn’t explain what was going on with Justin to himself.

“Don’t call me at work anymore,” he said before slamming the phone down.

********************

“You okay, Honey?” Annie asked Justin during their dialysis session that afternoon.

“Hmm?” he asked, not realizing that he had zoned out during their conversation.

“What's wrong? It obvious that something's got you down.” 

“Oh, uh… it's nothing,” he answered as casually as he could muster.

“Justin…” Annie paused to give him a friendly smile. “How much time have we spent together? You started dialysis about two years ago, right?”

He thought about it for a moment. “It will be two years next month, actually.”

 _Two years that I’ve been reliant on a machine to keep me alive and healthy._   _Wow…_ he silently mused.

“So, let’s see, three afternoons a week, four hours each - that’s twelve hours a week, times fifty-two weeks in a year is… 624 hours, times two would be almost 1,248 hours that we’ve spent together. Divided by twenty-four, that’s fifty-two days straight without rest.”

Justin curled his lip. Annie had been a math teacher before taking an early retirement because of her health and loved to show off how she could do problems in her head. Justin had always hated math. “That’s a long fucking time,” he said.

“That also means I can tell when you’ve got something serious on your mind or that you’re upset,” she informed him.

He was embarrassed to tell Annie about his boy problems. For one, he hadn’t told her that he was gay, and two, he felt weird discussing his love life with a woman that was probably at least a decade older than his mother. However, he knew that Annie had raised three children, two of them girls, along with teaching high school students for many years, so she wasn’t a stranger to teenage drama.

“Alright… do you promise not to repeat this?” he asked her.

Annie chuckled. “Who am I going to tell? My doctor? My mailman? My parakeets?”

Justin smiled and looked around the room to make sure no one else was in earshot. There were two other patients in the room, but one seemed to be asleep and the other was wearing headphones and typing on her laptop.

“Okay… first of all, I’m gay.”

Annie nodded. “I had a feeling.”

“Really?” Justin asked. “How?”

“Well, you’ve never talked about having a girlfriend before, other than that girl Daphne, but you’ve always called her ‘my friend, Daphne,’ not ‘my girlfriend.’ Also, I have a gay nephew that spent more time at my house than my sister’s house growing up. You remind me a lot of him when he was younger.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well, although I’ve know that I’m gay for a while, I’ve never had a… you know.”

“Boyfriend?” she guessed.

“Right. I’ve never even kissed another boy before. Just a few girls, including Daphne, but those were only out of curiosity. Anyway, I met this really cute guy at the diner where I work on Monday, and last night I went to this dance club with him… well technically, I guess I went with him and two of his friends, but he was the one that invited me.”

“What’s this guy’s name?” Annie asked.

“Brian.” Despite being a bit angry at him, Justin couldn’t help but smile when he said the man’s name and imagined his handsome face. “We managed to separate while we were there and his friends told me a lot of things about him behind his back, like how he doesn’t date and that he’s slept with half the guys at the club.”

“And what did you do?”

“Once I caught back up with him, I told him that I was tired and going home. I don’t know what to do now,” Justin said sadly. “I know I’m probably going to see him again at the diner during my shift tomorrow, because he and his friends are there nearly every day.”

“So are you upset because you wanted him to be your boyfriend?” Annie asked.

Justin nodded. “But I’m sure all he wants from me is a one-night stand, and I don’t want my first time to be like that.”

“Well, like they say, there are plenty of other fish in the sea,” Annie said. “And you’re quite the catch yourself, Sweetheart.”

“But that’s just it. I…” Justin sighed. “I don’t want another fish. But I don’t know if he would really want me, other than for a roll in the hay.”

Their conversation was stalled when a tech came over to take Justin’s blood pressure.

“It sounds like the two of you need to talk things out,” Annie said when they were once again alone. “Does he know about…” She pointed at the tubing sticking out of Justin’s left arm, through which his blood was circulating in and out of his body as it was being filtered through the dialysis machine.

He shook his head. “It’ll probably scare him away. Like you said, it takes up a big chunk of my life. And who knows the next time I’ll wind up in the hospital for something or other.”

Annie nodded. “It is a lot to deal with, but if he’s going to be a part of your life, you should tell him. If he can’t handle it, then maybe the two of you aren’t meant to be.”

Justin leaned back in his chair and sighed.


	5. I Am What I Am

_Later that evening…_

“… and it really fucking sucks how you’ve been treating him lately,” Debbie growled into the phone as Brian took a hit off his cigarette.

He should have known that Debbie would have gotten an earful from Michael that day, after Brian had ordered him not to call him at work anymore. As usual, Mama Bear was defending her little cub, cussing out the Big Bad Wolf.

Brian was almost relieved when he heard a knock at his door, although he wasn’t expecting anyone. “Deb…”

“… has been nothing but loyal to you for sixteen fucking years-”

“Deborah Jane Grassi Novotny!” Brian yelled into the phone.

“What?” Debbie screeched.

“Someone’s at my door. I’ve gotta go.”

Debbie snorted. “Your suitor for the evening?”

Brian stubbed out his cigarette and hoisted himself off the couch. “Yeah, DicksRUs.com is running a two-for-one special tonight.”

Another snort. “Well, remember, Portland is three hours behind us, so give Michael a call when you’re done.”

“Yes, Mother,” Brian said in a falsetto tone before ending the call on the cordless phone and pulling the door open. He nearly dropped the phone when he found Justin standing in front of him.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Justin asked tentatively.

It took Brian a moment to find his voice, which came out in a strangled rasp. “Uh… no.” He cleared his throat and stepped aside. “No. Come on in.”

Justin walked into the loft and looked around the spacious area in awe. “You have a really nice place.”

Brian pulled his door closed and locked it automatically. He hoped Justin hadn’t heard the lock click in place, thinking he was now Brian’s prisoner or something. “Thanks.”

The blonde turned to look at him. “I went by Torso earlier, and Emmett told me where you lived… I hope you don’t mind my coming over uninvited.”

 _Such a polite young man… Mommy and Daddy must be so proud,_  Brian thought to himself with a smirk. “I’m in the phone book, so it’s no secret where I live.”  _My loft gets as many visitors as Graceland, anyway…_

Justin nodded as he eyed Brian’s white couch. “Mind if I sit?”

Brian motioned for Justin to have a seat before sitting the phone down on his desk. He slowly walked over and sat down on the opposite side of the couch.  _Why the fuck am I so nervous?_ he asked himself.  _I feel like a virgin on prom night._

“So, Emmett told me that he and Ted apologized to you this morning for their, as he called it, ‘faux pas’ last night,” Justin said.

Brian shrugged. “If there’s one thing you can rely on a fag to do, it’s gossip; especially if it’s about someone who has more sex than you do.”

Justin grinned. “Well, after he apologized, he did a bit more gossiping about you.”

“Of course he did,” Brian muttered, shaking his head. “And what else did my dear friend have to say?”

“He told me that you haven’t been quite the same since you turned thirty last week…” Justin began.

 _Great, now the kid knows how old I am,_  Brian quietly groused.  _Note to self: kill Emmett “Can’t Keep His Fucking Mouth Shut” Honeycutt. And Theodore too; he’s almost as bad._

“… and since your best friend Michael moved to Oregon.”

Brian sighed. “Yeah, well… that’s life. We all get older and our friends move away.”

Justin nodded slowly. “He also said that from what he knows, last night was the first night you’ve gone out since Michael left.”

Brian put his feet up on his coffee table, trying to play it cool. “Michael’s been gone for less than a week, so it’s not like I’d spent the whole winter hibernating here or anything. Besides, I thought I’d take it upon myself to initiate you into the Liberty Avenue nightlife.”

Justin let out a little giggle. “Thanks, but…” He thought for a few moments before moving to stand up. “Never mind. I… I shouldn’t have come.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s left arm and pulled him back down. “You just got here.” He then noticed a grimace on Justin’s face. “Are you okay?”

“Uh… yeah,” Justin answered as he rubbed his forearm, which was covered in a red long-sleeved shirt, with his right hand.

“Aren’t you a little warm in that shirt? It got above eighty today,” Brian said.

“Well, that’s kind of why I came over…”

Brian then asked in sexy tone of voice as he moved closer to Justin, “Why? Because you’re… hot?”

“I’ve been told that I’m hot by at least a hundred guys in the past few days, so it must be true,” Justin answered with a smile. “But no, I came over to ask you something, and, contingent on your response, to tell you something.”

Brian tried to hide his disappointment, as he was hoping that Justin had come over to do a lot more with his mouth than talk. He crossed his arms over his chest before saying, “Ask away.”

“Well…” Justin paused and looked down at his lap, a blush appearing on his face that nearly matched his shirt. “I came over here because I was wanting to know how you feel about me. I mean, I know we’ve only known each other for a couple days, and I know you don’t do boyfriends or dates, and you’re like, twelve years older than me and  _a lot_ more experienced, and maybe you only see me as a one-time fuck or not even that, I don’t know, but Emmett said that we look really cute together and that you’ve never invited anyone but your friends out to Babylon before, and-”

“Whoa,” Brian said as he placed a hand on Justin’s thigh. “Take a breath.”

Justin inhaled deeply, as Brian instructed. “I’m sorry. I tend to ramble when I’m nervous. You should see me try to give a speech in front of people. One time I was trying to read a short story out loud in my English class, and I had to run out of the room to throw up.”

Brian laughed. “Yeah, I used to be that way, too. I had to give presentations all the time in college, and eventually I got over my stage fright.”

“So… is there something between us?” Justin asked. “Or am I just acting like a love-struck teenage girl right now? Because when you invited me to Babylon yesterday, I thought that maybe…”

Brian rolled in his lips and thought about what to say. He couldn’t deny that Justin had been on his mind since he first saw the boy in the diner. It wasn’t rare for Brian to pursue a guy he wanted to fuck, but if the guy got away from him, much like Justin had the night before, he normally forgot all about them by the next day.

“Of course I want to fuck you, but like Emmett said, I don’t do boyfriends. I also don’t do love. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they’re in so they can get laid. Then, they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with.”

“And how would you know that?” Justin asked. “Have you ever actually been in love?”

“No, but…” Brian stopped himself before going any further. He didn’t want to open his old childhood wounds in front of someone he hardly knew. “I prefer to just fuck and leave it at that,” he said instead. “You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit.”

Justin stared at Brian for a few moments, wondering what had happened in the man’s life to make him so cynical and detached. He knew plenty of straight couples who had happy, successful relationships. His parents had been together for almost twenty-five years, and although it had been difficult coping with Justin’s health problems, especially since he had started dialysis, they were still in love. At least Justin hoped they were.

“Any more questions?” Brian asked.

Justin shook his head.

“Do I get to hear your grand confession now, or are you going to show yourself out?”

When Justin had decided that he was going to find out where Brian lived and go to talk to him, he told himself that he would only disclose his health problems if Brian admitted that he had feelings for him and wanted to pursue a relationship. He didn’t want to get involved if all that Brian wanted was to make him another notch on his bedpost. After hearing Brian’s feelings about relationships and love, however, Justin couldn’t allow himself to walk away. He felt sorry for him, which said a lot coming from someone with the kind of problems he had.

Justin pulled up his left sleeve and held his arm out to Brian.

“What the hell?” Brian asked, obviously disturbed at what he was seeing. The inside of Justin’s arm was covered in a rainbow of bruises. His pale skin also showed scarring from numerous needle punctures and the surgery to create his access site.

“I’ve been on hemodialysis for almost two years,” Justin answered. “I go in for treatments three times a week, four hours each time.”

Brian ran his index finger lightly over Justin’s bruises. “Uh… well, what happened? I mean...”

“I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was six; that’s the kind where you’re insulin dependent. Throughout my childhood, I looked at the disease as an enemy, and I always challenged it. I hated not being able to eat sweets like all the other kids, and I always hated having to give myself shots and test my blood sugar throughout the day. I would sneak junk food and skip my injections, which would piss off my parents. Then I would end up in the hospital a couple times a year, because I was hardheaded and refused to surrender to my disease or to my parents.

“About four years ago, my kidney function started to decline and I got really depressed. My kidneys continued to get worse and I totally stopped caring about my body. One day, I fell into a coma because my blood sugar got so high. I was out for a couple of days, and when I woke up, they told me that my kidney function had dropped to below fifteen percent, which required me to start dialysis. They performed surgery to create what is called a fistula, which is where they join together a vein and an artery in your arm, and that’s where they put the catheters to pump my blood in and out during the treatments.

“The fistula took a month to heal, so before they could use that they had to do it here.” Justin pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal a light pink scar right below his collarbone. Like he did on his forearm, Brian ran his finger over the scar, which caused Justin to shiver a bit.

“By that point, I had missed a lot of school and was told I would have to retake my junior year, so that was when I dropped out. I started going to therapy, which improved my outlook on life. I now do everything my doctors tell me to do, and I am healthy… well, as healthy as I can be, given the circumstances.”

“Will you be on dialysis forever?” Brian asked.

“Either until I get a kidney transplant or I die,” Justin said wearily. “I’ve been on the national transplant list since I started dialysis, but so far, there’s been no match. I have type O blood, which can only receive blood and organ donations from others with type O. My mom also has type O, but she’s not a close enough tissue match to donate to me. My dad has type A blood, so he can’t donate. None of our family members are suitable donors.”

“How long do people on the transplant list usually have to wait before a match is found?”

Justin sighed. “Usually between three to five years, although some wait longer. Transplants aren’t always successful and they don’t last forever. There’s a woman that has her dialysis treatments the same times I do - Annie. Her kidneys failed about twenty years ago, and her sister was a match for her. The kidney failed about eight years later, and she’s been back on dialysis ever since. But I’ve heard that some transplanted kidneys last thirty years or longer.”

Brian looked deep into Justin’s blue eyes. “I’m type O.”

“So?” Justin asked.

“So, maybe I could give you one of my kidneys.”


	6. I Am Changing

_“So, maybe I could give you one of my kidneys.”_

Justin chuckled. “Yeah, right.”

“Why not?” Brian asked. “You need a kidney, and I’ve got one to spare.”

Brian could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. He had never before imagined offering to donate a kidney to someone without even being asked. Maybe if one of the few people close to him needed one, he’d consider it, but he barely knew Justin. But, after hearing the boy’s story and learning that they shared the same blood type, how could he not offer to help him?

 _Maybe I’m not the selfish asshole that we all think I am…_  Brian thought to himself.

Justin sighed. “Just because you’re the right blood type, doesn’t mean you’ll be a compatible donor for me. We first assumed that my mom could give me one of her kidneys, because we were both type O, but then there’s tissue matching. There are six proteins we all have called antigens that should match; otherwise, the kidney may be rejected. Only two of hers matched mine. Then, there’s a thing called crossmatching, but I don’t think anyone can understand how that works without a biology degree. If you happened to be a match for me with all three of those, you’d then have to go through physical and psychological testing to see if you’re even eligible to donate.”

Brian chuckled. “Well, I’ll admit that I could take care of myself better than I do. I watch my diet and exercise four or five days a week, but I smoke, drink, and do drugs from time to time.”  _And don’t get me started on my psychological health…_

“Then there’s the fact that you’re a sexually active gay man,” Justin added.

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“It means that you’re at a higher risk for HIV and other STDs.”

Brian stood up and began pacing in front of the coffee table. “Well, I know that, but I get tested every six months… though it wouldn’t hurt if I went in more often. I was tested two months ago, and I was negative and clean as a whistle.”

“Yeah, but how many guys have you been with since then?”

Brian thought about that for a few seconds and grunted. “I don’t know… a few dozen? But I always,  _always_ use a condom.”

“Even with oral sex?”

Brian stopped in his tracks for a moment. “No.”

Justin started counting on his fingers. “With unprotected oral sex, you can transmit HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis-”

“What are you, a public service announcement?” Brian interrupted.

“It’s what I’ve read,” Justin said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Well, if you think I’m too diseased to give you a kidney, then just forget I ever offered,” Brian snapped. “I don’t know why the fuck-”

“No! Brian, I…” Justin shot off the couch and went to stand in front of Brian. “I didn’t say that. It’s just… I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Just about everyone I know has gone in to see if they could donate to me, and none of them were compatible with me or healthy enough.”

Brian reached up and ran his thumb along Justin’s cheek. “How about we let the doctors decide whether I can donate to you or not?” he asked in a gentle voice.

Justin nodded as he looked at up at the taller man, his breath nearly taken away by how fucking gorgeous he was. “I’ll call my doctor tomorrow and tell him I have a possible donor.”

At that moment, Brian wanted nothing more than to taste the beautiful young man standing in front of him. He leaned down to give Justin a kiss, but the phone rang before their lips could touch.

“Damn it,” Brian growled as he walked over to his desk to check the caller ID. He wasn’t surprised when he saw that it was Michael calling from his cell phone.

He reluctantly answered because he knew that Michael would only leave another nagging message if he didn’t. “I can’t talk now. I have company.”

“What is it this time, huh?” Michael sniped. “A foursome with a set of French triplets?”

Justin walked over and whispered, “I can go, if-”

Brian held up his index finger and shook his head. “You know, there are more important things in life than fucking, Michael.”  _Holy shit… did I really just say that?_

There was a pause as Brian imagined Michael’s eyes popping out of his head. “Wh… what? This  _is_ Brian Kinney that I’m speaking with, right? What the fuck is going on with you?”

“Later,” Brian replied before hanging up and sitting the phone back down.

“So, that was Michael?” Justin asked. “And that’s Debbie’s son, right?”

“Yeah. He’s been calling me day and night since he moved, but he won’t take the hint that I don’t want to talk to him. I was actually on the phone with Deb before you came over, listening to her bitch at me for avoiding her precious baby boy.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to talk to him? I thought he was supposed to be your best friend. I talk to my best friend Daphne every day,” Justin said. “I wouldn’t want to imagine her moving across the country.”

Brian waved his hand. “It’s complicated. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-”

Before Justin could finish his lecture, Brian shut him up with a kiss.

Although Justin had very little experience in the kissing department, kissing Brian felt completely natural to him and so, so right. When he felt the other man’s tongue touch his, he moaned and wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck. He soon felt Brian’s erection pressing through his jeans, and he jumped when he felt Brian reach down and grasp his own hardened member.

“Whoa,” Justin said as he quickly backed away, stopping only when his ass hit Brian’s computer desk.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked.

“I hope that your offer wasn’t just a ploy to have sex with me.”

Brian chuckled and smugly replied, “I have never had to trick or con anyone into my bed. They always go willingly.”

Justin smiled. “I’m sure they do.”

“But I don’t want you to feel obligated to fuck me just because I’m offering to help you.”

 _Am I offering him an out here? Christ, when did I become a lesbian?_ Brian asked himself.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. I mean…” Justin paused while pointing down at his dick, which was tenting his jeans. “Hello. But I…”

Brian put his hands on his hips and sighed. “You want your first time to be  _special_ ,” he said with a bit of sarcasm.

Justin’s jaw dropped. “H… how-”

“Please,” Brian said. “This isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I know a virgin when I see one.”

Mortified, Justin turned around and placed his hands on the edge of the desk. He felt completely unworthy of being in the presence of such an experienced man.

Brian walked up behind Justin and placed his hands on the blonde’s shoulders. “Hey… believe it or not, I was a virgin before. I know what it’s like to fantasize about how your first time will be - how you hope it will be romantic and perfect. But the truth is that your first time will hurt like hell. You’ll be terrified, embarrassed, and probably a little grossed out, too. Even worse, the guy may pretend like he cares for you, but all he actually cares about is getting off. The whole thing will be nothing but a bad memory.”

Justin slowly turned back around. “Was that how your first time went?”

Brian nodded. “It’s all just a blur now. I haven’t thought about it in a long time.”

“But…” Justin bit his bottom lip. “If my first time was with you, would it be different for me?”

“I must admit that I wasn’t always very nice with the virgins I’ve deflowered in the past; in fact, I was probably no better than the asshole that took mine. I can’t promise that I’ll be any nicer to you.”

Disappointed in Brian’s answer, Justin walked around Brian’s desk to get a closer look at the framed pictures displayed on a narrow table behind the desk. The pictures all featured a baby boy in various poses. “Who’s this?” he asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“That’s my son, Gus,” Brian answered, a touch of pride in his voice.

“Your son?” Justin repeated in surprise.

“Yeah. I gave my sperm to a friend of mine so that she and her girlfriend could have a baby. I signed over my parental rights to them, but they let me see him whenever I want. He’ll be a year old in a couple months.”

Justin looked over at Brian, who was now standing next to him and looking at the pictures of Gus. All Justin could think was, who the hell was this man, Brian Kinney? Was he a selfish asshole who would fuck anyone before throwing them to the curb? Or, was he a misunderstood man that would go out of his way to help someone in need, even a virtual stranger?

Will the real Brian Kinney please stand up?

“Um… I think I should get going,” Justin reluctantly stated. “I’m due at the diner at six tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Brian said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

As the two of them walked towards the door, Justin turned and said, “Could we keep all of this a secret? I mean, I don’t want people knowing about my illness and feeling sorry for me, especially if it turns out that you’re not able to donate to me. Debbie is the only one at the diner that knows I’m on dialysis, and she promised not to tell anyone else.”

Brian nodded. “I understand.” He didn’t want people questioning why he would get involved with something like this, anyway. He got enough flack when it became know that he was helping Lindsay and Melanie conceive.

“The doctors will need to set up an appointment with you to take your blood, and then it’ll be a few days before they know if you’re a match.”

Brian walked back over to his desk to retrieve one of his business cards. He turned the card over and wrote his cell number. Handing the card to Justin, he instructed, “You can give your doctor my cell and office numbers, but tell them to try my cell first.”

Justin put the card in his wallet. “Okay. Um… thank you for offering to do this for me.”

Brian cupped Justin’s chin and gave him a brief kiss before pulling the door open for the boy to leave.


	7. Life Support

A few days after Brian went to get his blood drawn, he and Justin both received phone calls letting them know that Brian was a close enough match for Brian to give Justin one of his kidneys. The next couple of weeks had Brian seeing various doctors that performed numerous tests on him to make sure he was healthy enough to donate a kidney to Justin and to live with only one kidney. Brian was even required to save his urine in a plastic jug for a day to measure his fluid output, and he was a little embarrassed to hand the full jug over to the elderly nurse at the urology unit.

The doctors were soon all happy to report that despite Brian spending the last several years of his life drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney, ingesting numerous drugs, and having more than one hundred different sex partners, he was very healthy. Per the doctors’ suggestions, Brian abstained from drugs to clean out his system. He decreased his drinking to no more than one beer or shot per day. He even cut down his pack-a-day smoking habit to three of four cigarettes per day, along with drinking only one cup of coffee per day as opposed to his usual four or more cups. To prevent him from catching any STDs in the meantime, Brian significantly cut back on his tricking, only fucking a couple of guys a week and never allowing them to kiss or blow him.

Brian continued to avoid Michael, and Debbie eventually stopped hounding him over it. Ted and Emmett quit trying to fill Brian in on Michael’s wonderful new life with Dr. David and his son, which left the three of them with very little to talk about. Brian’s days consisted of long hours at the office; that is, when he didn’t have a doctor’s appointment. When asked by Cynthia why Brian would need to be out of the office periodically for his appointments, Brian only said that it was none of her fucking business and to take his messages when he was gone. He would spend most of the weekends working from home or visiting Gus at  _Chez Munchers_.

Besides seeing Justin when he worked his morning shift at the diner, Brian kept his distance from the young blonde. They agreed that until they knew whether Brian could give a kidney to Justin, they would not have any sort of relationship, particularly a physical one. Of course, that had been Justin’s decision, but Brian decided to grin and bear it. He knew that whatever the outcome, he would one day have Justin in his bed and be able to forget about him afterwards.

Justin had also decided not to tell anyone about the possibility of Brian donating to him, so nobody would be disappointed if Brian wasn’t an eligible donor. Since Justin was legally an adult, his doctors were barred from contacting Justin’s parents about the inquiry. After going through his own tests to ensure he was healthy enough for the transplant, the doctors informed him that he was indeed fit to receive a donated kidney, which would free him from dialysis and greatly improve his quality of life.

Once being physically cleared to donate, Brian was then required to meet with a counselor to evaluate his mental health. After asking him several questions about his life and emotional status, the counselor, a woman named Kelly that reminded Brian of an overweight Melanie, asked, “So, Brian, why do you want to donate a kidney to this young man?”

Brian cleared his throat. “Well-”

“Because you hardly know this person, and I don’t see very many people like you who are willing to donate a kidney to someone that-”

“People like me?” Brian repeated.

Kelly gave him a tight, forced smile. “What I mean is, men your age with your lifestyle-”

“And what kind of lifestyle would  _that_  be, Kelly?” Brian asked while trying not to start a fight. He didn’t want to come all this way only to be told he wasn’t psychologically fit to donate to Justin, but this bitch was making it difficult.

“I’m referring to men like you: young, single, attractive, accomplished in their careers-”

“Gay?” Brian added to the list.

Kelly rolled in her lips and closed her eyes for a moment before saying, “Well… you must admit that young, gay men such as yourself care greatly about their physical appearance. The surgery will leave you with a few scars.”

“They’ll be removing my kidney with a laparoscopic surgery, which will only require a few small incisions,” Brian informed her, repeating what the doctor that would be performing his surgery had told him. “And if anyone ever asks what my scars are from, I’ll be glad to tell them.”

“Right, but-”

“Look,” Brian said, wanting to end the topic of  _Lifestyles of a Gay Man_. “From what I’ve read and been told, it’s a relatively safe procedure for the donor, the recovery time isn’t that bad, I won’t miss the kidney when it’s gone, and… Justin needs a kidney. No, I don’t know him very well, but I want to help him.”

Kelly finally gave Brian a real smile. “Great answer.”

********************

It was on a Thursday in the middle of the lunch rush when Debbie yelled to Justin that he had a phone call. The only person who had Justin’s work number was his doctor, and he had to force himself not to faint while he walked over to the counter to take the call.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. “This is Justin.”

“Hey, Justin,” the familiar male voice said. “Dr. Collins here.”

“Hey,” Justin replied as he tightened his grip on the phone.

“I just heard back from Kelly over at the counseling department, and she gave Mr. Kinney the green light. You’re getting a kidney, son.”

Justin squeezed his eyes closed to keep the tears from flowing. “Great. Um… what happens now?”

“Well, I’ll give Mr. Kinney a call to let him know and see when he’ll be available to get your surgeries scheduled.”

“Okay. I’m available whenever,” Justin informed him. The recovery time from his surgery would require him to take a couple of months off from work, but he was sure that everyone would understand.

Dr. Collins called back soon after to tell Justin that the transplant would take place a week from Monday.

After taking a short break to freely let his happy tears flow in the alley, Justin worked through the rest of his shift. He hoped that Brian would make an appearance, but the tall brunette did not. Without saying who his donor was, Justin let Debbie know about his surgery before leaving the diner.

Justin stopped by the house to shower and change, and then went to Daphne’s to tell her the good news. She had been angry at him for about five seconds, wondering why Justin hadn’t told her about Brian’s offer before then, but was soon crying tears of joy along with her best friend.

He returned home after six that evening, as he knew that both of his parents would be home from work by then. His father was on the couch watching ESPN, and Justin asked him to come in to the kitchen with him, where he knew he would find his mother cooking dinner.

Justin and Craig found Jennifer draining a pot of spaghetti. “Uh, Mom… we need to talk.”

Jennifer placed the cooking pot on the stove. “What’s wrong, Honey?”

“Nothing. Can we sit down?” Justin said as he gestured to the small breakfast table.

The three Taylors each took a seat at the table. “What is it, Justin? You’re scaring me,” Jennifer said in a worried tone.

Justin smiled at his mother. “Nothing’s wrong, Mom, I promise.” Once he saw her visibly relax, he continued. “I have great news, actually. Dr. Collins called today… I’m getting a kidney soon.”

Jennifer jumped out of her chair to envelop her son in a hug. “Oh, Sweetheart, that’s wonderful!”

“Why didn’t the doctor call us?” Craig asked. “He has my cell phone number.”

“It’s a living donor,” Justin explained. “So it’s not like we have to jump in the car and race to the hospital tonight. The surgery will be a week from Monday.”

“Okay, but why did he call  _you_  first?” Craig probed in a slightly bitter tone.

“Because I’m eighteen, Dad,” Justin said defensively. “I told him to call my work number first before calling you or the house.”

“Well, where does the donor live?” Jennifer asked, trying to stop her husband and son from arguing about something so insignificant. “Are they coming here for the surgery, or…?”

“He lives here in Pittsburgh,” Justin said as he looked down at his lap. “I know him, actually.”

“So it’s not someone who was paired up with you through the registry?” Craig asked.

Justin bit his lip. “No, uh… he’s sort of a friend of mine.”

Jennifer chuckled as she wiped her wet eyes with a napkin. “Sort of a friend?”

“He’s someone I met at work,” Justin explained, unable to look at either of his parents in the eye. The last thing he wanted to do was answer questions about Brian. “I told him that I was on dialysis, and he offered to donate to me.”

“He just, out of the blue, offered you one of his kidneys?” Craig asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Justin said quietly.

Jennifer smiled. “Well, I think that was very nice of him… don’t you, Craig?”

Much like Daphne had that afternoon, Craig asked Justin, “Why didn’t you tell us about this sooner? Why are we just now hearing about this?”

Justin sighed. “Because I didn’t want us all to get our hopes up before we knew for sure that he could donate to me, only to hear he couldn’t. We’ve been down that road enough times, and I wanted to spare you and Mom the disappointment.”

Jennifer placed a loving hand on Justin’s shoulder. “I appreciate you doing that, Honey. God knows we’ve had enough rejections in the past.”

“This guy isn’t expecting money for this, is he?” Craig asked.

“No!” Justin yelled. “He doesn’t want our money! Besides, it’s illegal to be paid for an organ.”

“They would tell him that when he first talked to the doctors about donating, Craig,” Jennifer added.

Disgusted, Justin got up and ran up the stairs to his room. Jennifer followed after him.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Justin yelled. “He’s acting like he’s not even happy this is happening!”

“Honey… you’re father, he just-”

“He’s acting like Brian is some kind of hustler!”

“That’s the man’s name - Brian?” Jennifer asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said before sitting down on his bed.

“Well, maybe if your father met this Brian, he would feel better about this whole thing.”

“But people donate kidneys anonymously all the time,” Justin said. “Why is Dad acting like Brian has some kind of agenda or something?”

Jennifer sat down next to her son. “I don’t know, Honey.”

“And why should it matter who I’m getting it from? What, does he want me to be on dialysis and feel like shit for the rest of my life?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t,” Jennifer said. “It’s… it’s about the money, Justin. Your father’s insurance premiums are already through the roof, what with your dialysis treatments and your diabetic supplies, and they’ll only go up after the transplant. Then, there will be the cost of the anti-rejection meds-”

“And he only wanted to add to the debt by assuming that Brian would want money for his kidney?” Justin said with a scoff. “I’m so fucking sorry that I cost you an arm and a leg. It’s not like I asked for this.”

“I know, Honey,” Jennifer said. “None of this is your fault, and your father doesn’t blame you.”

“Well, you sure could have fooled me.” Justin paused to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. “I… I need to get out of here.”

Jennifer got up to follow Justin back downstairs. “Where are you going?”

“Out!” Justin yelled before slamming the front door closed. He jumped in his car and sped away, muttering to himself until he reached the intersection of Fuller and Tremont.


	8. To Life

Brian had been home from work for all of five minutes when he heard someone knocking on his door. He tossed his shirt onto the bed and walked barefoot across the loft to see who was there.

He couldn’t help but smile when he found Justin on the other side. “Oh, hey.”

“Hi,” Justin replied while openly staring at Brian’s naked chest. “I can come back later, if you’re…”

“No. I was just changing out of my work clothes,” Brian said as he made his way back to his bedroom. “Have a seat.”

Justin pulled the door closed behind him. “Okay.”

Brian returned to the living room a minute later dressed in black jeans and a white t-shirt. “So… congrats about getting your kidney.”

Justin smiled wide, though he was disappointed that Brian had put on a shirt. “Thanks, although it’s still yours for the next week and a half.”

“Well, until then, I’ll take good care of it for you.”

The two sat on the couch together in awkward silence until Justin’s stomach growled angrily.

“Hungry?” Brian asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, I left the house without eating dinner.”

Brian stood up to grab the cordless phone. “I was thinking about ordering some Chinese. I can order for two, if you’d like.”

 _Since when do I share a meal with a trick?_ Brian asked himself.  _Since never… but Justin isn’t exactly a trick._

“Okay, thanks. I haven’t eaten since eleven, and my blood sugar is probably low,” Justin said. He then picked up his messenger bag, which he always took with him wherever he went, and pulled out a carrying case that contained his diabetic supplies.

He stood with the case in his hand. “Where’s your bathroom? I need to take my insulin.”

“Oh… you can do that here, if you want,” Brian said. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Justin sat back down and shrugged. “I know that some people get freaked out by needles, so I normally do it in private. I have to take a dose before I eat.”

Brian ordered some shrimp with vegetables and cashew chicken for them as he watched Justin fill the syringe and jab the needle into his abdomen. “Too bad I don’t have a spare pancreas I could give you,” Brian said after returning to the couch.

“Yeah,” Justin said as he put his stuff back in his bag. “But I can control it with shots and eating right, so it’s not that big of a deal.”

Knowing that they had about a half hour before their food would arrive, Brian figured that they should make small talk. “I imagined that you and your family would have gone out for a celebratory dinner tonight or something.”

Justin shook his head. “No. My mom was making spaghetti when I came home and revealed my surprise. Since I have to watch my carbs, she always makes a salad to go with it.”

“Then why aren’t you home eating your mom’s spaghetti and salad?” _And why the fuck do you even care, Kinney? What is it about this kid that makes me give the tiniest rat’s ass?_

“Because…” Justin paused to sigh. “My dad is an asshole.”

Brian snickered. “I know all about having an asshole father. Jack Kinney wrote the book on that subject.”

Justin looked over at Brian with a sympathetic grin. “Well, I thought he would be happy to hear about me getting a kidney, but it seems he’s more concerned about how much it’s going to cost him. His insurance doesn’t pay for everything, unfortunately. Medicare will help with some of it, but-”

“Do you know how much the surgeries and everything will cost?” Brian asked in curiosity.

“I heard somewhere that the total cost of a kidney transplant is about two, three hundred thousand dollars.”

Brian whistled in response.  _That’s a new_ _Lamborghini_ _…_

“Then there’s my anti-rejection meds that I’ll have to take for as long as I have the kidney, which are about three thousand dollars a month. Add to that the five hundred a month it takes to manage my diabetes, not to mention the cost of check-ups a few times a year. After having a kid with chronic health problems for the past twelve years, my dad pays out the ass for our family health insurance. I can only stay on that until I’m twenty-one, and then I'll have to get my own insurance or rely on federal aid.”

Brian put his feet up on the coffee table. “Do you know how much my part of the transplant costs?”

“No, but you don’t have to pay for any of that. The recipient’s insurance pays for what the transplant center and Medicare doesn’t,” Justin answered.

“They told me that at the hospital, but I can pay for my-”

Justin placed his hand on Brian’s arm. “Brian, no. This is a selfless gift you’re giving to me, so don’t worry about the money. Besides, my parents aren’t poor. My dad owns Taylor Electronics and my mom is a realtor.”

Brian scoffed. “I’ve never bought anything from that store. Their prices are always higher than everyone else’s.”

“I know," Justin said with a snort. “Everyone tells me that when they find out my dad owns the place.”

“And that’s saying a lot coming from me, because I only buy high-end shit,” Brian added.

While Justin took a good look around at Brian’s “high-end shit”, he casually stated, “My dad thought that you’d expect money for giving me your kidney.”

Brian turned to glare at him. “What?”

Justin nodded. “When I told him that I knew you, that you weren’t an anonymous donor that the registry paired me up with, he assumed that you would want some money.”

“That’s not even legal!”

“He knows that, and I told him you didn’t want any of his money,” Justin assured him. “I had to get the fuck out of that house after that.”

All Brian could do was shake his head. He didn’t even know Justin’s father, but he already hated the man.

The delivery boy soon arrived with their food. After Brian refused to let Justin pay for his half of the meal, the two men moved over to the dining area to share the entrees.

Brian raised his bottled water. "What should we toast to?"

Justin thought for a moment as he raised his own water. "To life?"

"L'chaim," Brian said, causing both of them to chuckle at the  _Fiddler_ reference.

“So, your business card says that you’re an account manager for Ryder Advertising,” Justin said after a few quiet minutes had gone by.

“Yep,” Brian said. “I started working for Ryder right out of college. I have a few ad men that work under me now.”

“Do you like your job?”

“Yeah. It’s stressful sometimes, but I couldn’t imagine doing anything else,” Brian said. “Do you like working at the diner?”

“Hell, no,” Justin answered with a chuckle. “But I’m not qualified for anything else right now.”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to go to art school some day?”

“Yeah. It’ll be a more realistic dream once I don’t have to do dialysis three times a week anymore,” Justin said, smiling in a silent  _thank you_  at him.

Brian felt himself get hard over how hot Justin looked when he smiled. “So, do you have any siblings?” he asked, deciding to keep the conversation going to prevent himself from throwing their dishes on the floor and taking the boy right there on the table.

Justin's smile quickly faded. “No. My mom told me when I was younger that they had wanted to wait to have kids after they got married, but I was, as she said, ‘a surprise.’ I came along eleven months after their wedding day. They were thinking about having another baby around the time we found out about my diabetes. Since type 1 can be genetic, they were afraid of having another kid with it, so they decided I was it for them. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a little brother or sister.”

“Well, take it from me - siblings are overrated,” Brian said confidently. “I have an older sister who’s a complete cunt. We’ve never gotten along. The old man didn’t want either of us. He told my mother to get an abortion after she told him that she was pregnant with me.”

Justin stared at Brian across the table. “Really?”

Brian nodded as he pushed his food around with his chopsticks. “Yep, but Mom, being the good Catholic she is, refused.”

“Well, if there is a God, I thank him for that,” Justin said with a smile.

Brian felt his cheeks warm a bit. “Well, the old man went to his grave regretting ever having a family.”

“When did he die?” Justin asked.

“A few months ago, from lung cancer.”

“I’m sure my parents probably wish they never had me, because of all the money they’ve had to spend on me over the years.”

“Even healthy kids aren’t cheap,” Brian said. “I’ve shelled out thousands for my son, and he’s not even a year old yet.”

Justin pondered that for a moment. “You said you don’t have parental rights to him. Why would you have to pay for his care?”

“I don’t  _have_ to pay,” Brian said. “But I told Lindsay, his birth mother, that I would help them if they needed it.”

The more time Justin spent with Brian, the more he realized how truly generous he was. Now that he knew what a rough childhood he must have had, Justin was surprised to see that Brian wasn’t completely heartless.

“You must really love your son,” Justin remarked.

Brian smiled. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Both men soon finished eating. Brian took their dishes to the sink, and Justin pushed back from the table. “Thanks for dinner.”

“No problem,” Brian said before walking over to where Justin was currently standing.

“So…” Justin said, completely clueless as to what was going to happen next.

Brian stared into his eyes for a few moments before planting a kiss on him. Justin soon realized that Brian intended on making him his dessert, what with the way the brunette was thoroughly exploring his mouth with his tongue.

Before Justin knew what was happening, Brian was dragging him up a short staircase. Justin pulled away and saw that they were now in the bedroom.

Brian flipped a switch, which lit up several fluorescent blue lights on the wall over the bed.

Justin felt a bit of panic rush through him. “Brian, I-”

“Shh,” Brian instructed before taking Justin’s lips again. Brian pulled Justin’s shirt off, pushed him onto the bed, and straddled him. After spending a little while longer exchanging saliva with the blonde, Brian began to kiss, lick, and nibble his way down Justin’s body.

Justin visibly stiffened when Brian popped the button of his fly.

“Relax,” Brian said. “I’m not going to hurt you. Trust me.”

Justin did as he was told while Brian pulled down Justin's pants and briefs halfway down his thighs.

“Mmm, nice,” Brian said in response to seeing Justin’s fully-hard cock, which was bigger than Brian imagined it would be, in comparison to Justin’s twink physique. Although he rarely ever bottomed or gave oral, Brian was a total size queen. Knowing that the boy probably wouldn’t last very long, Brian got right down to business, taking Justin as deep into his throat as he could.

Justin gasped at the new sensation and ran his fingers thorough Brian’s soft hair. At first he tried to hold back, but he was soon moaning and babbling incoherently as Brian continued to worship him.

“Brian… oh, God… Bri… I’m…” was the last thing Justin said before he came.

Brian licked the boy clean before pulling his pants back up and buttoning them for him. He chuckled when he lay down beside Justin and saw that he was nearly comatose.

Justin took several breaths before saying, “Wow.”

Brian gave him a little peck. “Don’t worry. You can probably still call yourself a virgin.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Great,” he said sarcastically.

“But we’ll save that for another night.” Brian then got up to get a bottle of water.

Once he had the feeling back in his legs, Justin got up, put his shirt back on, and walked out to the kitchen. “Well… I should get going. I have to be at the diner at six tomorrow morning, as usual.”

Brian nodded. “And your mommy’s probably beside herself worrying about where you ran off to.”

Justin sighed. He knew his mother meant well, but she was an obsessive worrywart. “Yeah.”

After Justin retrieved his messenger bag from the living room, Brian walked him to the door. They shared another long, sloppy kiss before Brian reluctantly let him leave.

Brian promptly went to take a shower and relieve his painful boner, all the while picturing Justin’s beautiful smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sources:
> 
> http://www.cpmc.org/advanced/kidney/patients/topics/financing_kidney_transplant.html#Kidney Transplant Costs
> 
> http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/12/the-cost-of-diabetes-care/
> 
> http://www.sentara.com/Services/Transplant/Pages/LivingKidneyDonor.aspx#cost


	9. A Heart Full of Love

Brian and Justin spent a few evenings together in the days leading up to the transplant. Justin came to the loft a couple times to watch a movie, but the night would end with them making out on the couch like teenagers. Brian took Justin to Woody’s one evening to teach him how to shoot pool, with all eyes on them as Brian helped Justin to set up his shots. Each of those nights ended with Brian having to jerk off alone.

To blow off some stress the night before their surgeries, Brian invited Justin out to Babylon. It was a Sunday night, which was normally a slow night for the club, but Brian wasn’t surprised to see Ted and Emmett at the bar.

“Well, howdy, strangers!” Emmett yelled to them.

“Strangers?” Brian said. “You see us almost every day at the diner.”

“I know, but we hardly see you here anymore,” Emmett said. Turning to Justin, he added, “And this is only the second time I’ve seen you here, Cutie Pie.”

By then, it was common knowledge among the diner patrons that Justin was going to be having a kidney transplant, although nobody knew that Brian was his donor. It was Brian’s choice to keep it a secret from his family, as he did not want any attention from them, whether it be questions as to why he would do such a thing or, even worse, anyone trying to take care of him after coming home from the hospital.

“My surgery is tomorrow and I’m a little nervous, so I decided to come out and dance for a while,” Justin said to Emmett.

Emmett noticed that Brian had not left Justin’s side since they walked in together, which led Emmett to believe that Brian had invited Justin to the club once again. He had seen how Brian and Justin looked at and smiled at each other at the diner, and Emmett had wondered why Brian hardly ever went out anymore.

Looking at the two of them standing there together, Emmett dared to guess that the little blonde twink had somehow gotten under the wire, and Justin was more than just a dime-a-dozen trick to the Stud of Liberty Avenue.

Although he would have loved to take a spin around the dance floor with Justin, Emmett decided to let Brian have the boy to himself. “Well, I hope everything goes well tomorrow, Sweetie. Have a good time tonight.” He then leaned in and planted a kiss on Justin’s cheek.

“Thanks,” Justin said before Brian grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

They danced through four songs together, with each man grinding on the other one to the point of leaking in their pants. Brian wanted nothing more than to take Justin to the back room and fuck him into the wall, but he knew that Justin would not want that for his first time. He had no idea how he had managed to keep his dick in his pants around Justin for so long. Since the two of them would be spending the next few weeks recovering from their surgeries, Brian knew that tonight was going to be  _the_ night.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Brian panted in Justin’s ear.

“Hell, yeah,” Justin said.

********************

Brian and Justin kissed during the elevator ride up to the fourth floor. They had barely gotten through the door of the loft before Brian pulled Justin’s shirt off. They stumbled over to the bedroom stairs as they kicked their shoes off and unfastened each other’s pants.

Justin was naked by the time he fell onto Brian’s bed. He watched as Brian finished undressing before he climbed on top of him, sucking in a breath as he caught a glimpse of Brian’s very large, very hard dick.

“Are you ready for this?” Brian asked, silently pleading with his eyes for him to be so.

Justin nervously licked his lips. “Yeah, just go slow, okay?”

“I’ll try, but not before we do this,” Brian said before grabbing Justin’s right hand and placing it on his cock. He then wrapped his hand around Justin’s cock and started stroking. He moaned when he felt Justin reciprocate.

They both soon shot their loads, and Brian reached under the bed to retrieve a strategically-placed hand towel.

“Now that the immediacy is out of the way…” Brian said as he wiped up their messes. He tossed the towel onto the floor before saying, “Turn over.”

Justin rolled onto his stomach and felt Brian straddle his thighs. He shivered when he felt Brian’s mouth on his spine, goose bumps popping up all over his body as Brian trailed his tongue down his back.

Brian stopped at the top of Justin’s crack. “Do you know what rimming is?”

Justin didn’t want to humiliate himself by taking a guess. “No.”

He got his answer when he felt Brian’s tongue circle his asshole a few times and then dip inside for a moment, causing him to cry out in unexpected pleasure.

“Now you know,” Brian said proudly.  

Justin let out a combination of a giggle and a moan as Brian grabbed onto his shoulder and rolled him back over so they were face-to-face. Brian then got a tube of lube from his nightstand and popped the cap.

“This is going to hurt,” Brian said as he squirted the product onto his fingers. “Just try to breathe through it, okay?”

Justin nodded before Brian began pushing his index finger into him. It did burn, but it was bearable. Brian soon inserted two fingers, which made Justin whimper.

Hearing the sound of his discomfort, Brian gave Justin a kiss. “Breathe, Sunshine,” he reminded him.

Despite the pain, Justin smiled at the nickname, loving the sound of it from Brian’s lips. He gasped when he felt Brian touch him just right.

“You feel that? That’s your prostate,” Brian said. “That’s the center of every bottom’s universe.”

Justin couldn’t help but giggle. “Do it again.”

Brian obliged and smiled when Justin purred like a kitten.

Brian knew that he could probably lay there and push the boy's button all night, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He pulled his hand away and grabbed a condom from the bowl on his nightstand.

He pulled the rubber out of the package and held it out to Justin. “Put it on me.”

Justin rolled the condom onto Brian’s dick, now feeling even more scared knowing that the large member was going to be inside of him very soon. He watched with wide eyes as Brian coated the condom with lube, his heart racing.

Brian got between Justin’s legs. “Put your feet on my shoulders,” he said.

After Justin did what he was told, Brian lined up his cock. He started to press inside, causing Justin to scream out in pain.

“I know it hurts,” Brian whispered. “It won’t always hurt this bad.”

Justin felt tears well up in his eyes, but he knew he needed to be tough. “Keep going,” he said.

Brian couldn’t deny that his heart broke a little as he listened to Justin’s wails and saw his beautiful face pinched. Knowing what all the kid must have gone through during his short life, the last thing Brian wanted to do was hurt him. Still, he continued until he was fully inside Justin’s tight ass.

He locked lips with Justin as he thrust in and out of him, relieved when he felt the blonde relax under him. He was soon able to enjoy himself when Justin’s moans of discomfort turned into ones of pleasure.

Now feeling the pain being replaced, Justin was able to open his eyes as Brian broke their kiss. He stared into the older man’s hazel eyes and knew he was exactly where he belonged in the world.

Brian’s breathing began to get heavier, and Justin felt Brian’s hand close around his dick again. It wasn’t long before Justin felt every nerve fire throughout his body, and he soon had the most intense orgasm of his life. Brian followed shortly after, and he dropped Justin’s legs down before collapsing on top of him.

Justin wrapped his arms tightly around Brian’s sweaty back as he cried quiet tears for how much he loved that man.

********************

“Okay, Mr. Kinney, I want you to breathe normally and count back from ten,” the anesthesiologist said the next morning before placing a mask over Brian’s face.

Brian began counting out loud. “Ten… nine… eight…” His eyes flickered closed as he fell into a drug-induced slumber.

********************

Brian came to about three hours later. He had no clue where he was or what had happened, but he felt as if he were waking after a heavy night of drinking and was still fucked up.

He was vaguely aware of people moving around the room he was in. After a few moments, he heard a female voice calling him.

“Mr. Kinney? Will you open your eyes for me?”

Brian forced his eyes open and found a nice-looking lady dressed in pink scrubs smiling down at him. It was then that he remembered he was at Allegheny General Hospital to get his kidney removed.

“Your surgery went very well,” the nurse said. “You’re in recovery now, and we’ll take you up to your room in about a half hour. Do you feel okay?”

“Mmm,” Brian answered, as words could not form between his brain and his mouth.

Several minutes later, Brian’s began to shiver and chatter his teeth.

The same nurse covered Brian with a blanket and tucked it around him. “It’s common to feel cold after waking up from surgery,” she said. “That will wear off soon.”

“Is Justin okay?” Brian slurred, finally feeling more alert. He then saw that the nurse’s nametag identified her as  _Laura_.

“He’s still in surgery,” Laura answered.

“Will you let me know when he gets out?” he asked in as serious of a tone as he could muster at the moment.

“I’ll make sure someone passes the message to you,” Laura assured him.

“You better,” Brian said before closing his eyes again. In his drugged state, he decided to tell Laura about Justin. “He’s a really sweet boy.”

“Who, Justin?” Laura asked.

“Yeah. Have you seen him?”

“No,” Laura said. “But I'll be here in the recovery wing all day, so I probably will observe him after he makes his way into recovery later.”

“Well, he’s really, really special,” Brian said. “He has the prettiest blue eyes. They’re like… like sapphires, and you’re never as happy as when he looks at you. Make sure you see them.”

Laura giggled. Watching people come out of anesthesia and say silly stuff always amused her. “Okay, I will.”

“And he smells really good, like a warm ocean breeze,” Brian continued, a smile on his face. “And his lips are so soft and sweet… like cotton candy.”

“Really?” Laura asked.

“Mm-hmm,” Brian sighed before falling asleep.

********************

Brian shuffled down the hallway later that evening, pulling his IV stand behind him and wearing the hospital-issued gown, robe, and slippers. His doctor encouraged him to get up and walk around after havig his catheter removed to speed up his recovery, and the first place he wanted to go was Justin’s room. He had only seen the boy briefly that morning, since he regretfully sent him home after their second round of fucking the previous night.

He walked into the room that his nurse said Justin was checked into and found the boy asleep in his hospital bed, looking like a little angel. The woman that Brian recognized at Justin’s mother, who he had met earlier that morning before going into surgery, was reading in a chair next to the bed.

Jennifer looked up at Brian and smiled. “Hello, Brian.”

“Mrs. Taylor,” Brian answered.

“Here, why don’t you take this chair?” Jennifer said as she stood up. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Brian said as he took the offered seat. “The drugs they give you here are awesome.”

Jennifer laughed before walking to the head of the bed and rubbing Justin’s cheek to wake him. “Justin? Honey, Brian’s here to see you.”

Justin’s eyes opened at Brian’s name. He lifted his head and met Brian’s eyes. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey, yourself,” Brian replied.

Justin then looked over to his mother. “Can you go take a walk or something?”

Jennifer pretended to be hurt by the request. “Well, fine.” She then smiled. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

Justin sighed in relief once his mother was out of sight. “Jesus, she’s been hovering over me since they brought me up here. She’s going to spend the night, even though I told her to go home. She won’t listen, though.”

Brian chuckled. “She’s worried about her wittle baby.”

“Her ‘wittle baby’ is fine. The doctor said the transplant was a success. I’m even peeing again,” Justin said proudly before pointing to the foot of the bed. “Look.”

Brian looked to where he was directed and found a plastic bag partially filled with light-yellow urine hanging off the side of the bed. “Good job.”

“I had a rough time coming out of anesthesia, though. I cried and threw up,” Justin said. “Not my finest hour.”

Brian smiled, happy that he didn’t embarrass himself like that in the recovery room. He faintly remembered talking to a nurse about Justin, but couldn’t really recall what all he had said. He just hoped he didn’t give away any raunchy details. “Well, one of these days, I’ll have to tell you about the first time I did magic mushrooms - it was _really_ bad. I’d tell you now, but I wouldn’t want you to bust any stitches laughing.”

“Thanks, but they used staples, actually,” Justin said. “They said the incision was eight inches long, and staples are better for large abdominal incisions.”

Brian frowned. “Well, if anyone asks what the scar is from, you can tell them you got it during a sword fight, defending the family name.”

Justin laughed and winced in pain. “I thought you were trying to  _not_ make me laugh.”

“Sorry,” Brian said as he reached over and rubbed Justin’s chest over his hospital gown. Justin covered Brian’s hand with his, lacing their fingers together.

“I want to thank you again for giving me this gift,” Justin said quietly.

Never feeling comfortable in moments where someone expressed their gratitude towards him, all Brian could do was nod. He wished that he could bend over to give Justin a kiss, but he knew it would probably hurt.

Their tender moment was broken when a nurse walked into the room a few seconds later to check Justin's vitals, forcing the boys to pull their hands apart.

“Uh… I should get back to my room,” Brian said as he slowly pulled himself out of the chair.

“Can you come to see me again tomorrow?” Justin asked as the nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his bicep.

“Sure,” Brian said with a smile. “I won’t be going home until Thursday, and I’m sure I’ll get bored enough to stop by at some point.”

Justin playfully stuck his tongue out before Brian turned to leave.


	10. Family

Brian came to Justin’s room to visit him during the second day of their hospital stay, which was conveniently at the same time Jennifer had gone home to take a nap and a shower. A nurse had removed Brian’s IV line that morning and he was now relying on oral pain relievers to help the dull ache in his abdomen caused by his kidney removal. Justin was still attached to his IV but was able to walk to and from the bathroom. He hoped to take a short walk down the hallway later that day.

Justin was sitting up in his hospital bed while Brian was in the chair he had sat in during his brief visit the previous day. The two were engrossed in a game of rummy while they carried on a light conversation.

“Did your dad ever come to see you last night?” Brian asked as he drew a card from the deck.

It had only been Jennifer that accompanied Justin to the hospital the morning of the transplant, as Craig insisted on going into his electronics store early that morning to get some paperwork done before any of his employees arrived to open for business at ten AM. After hearing what Craig had insinuated about him after learning the transplant was a go, Brian wasn’t at all disappointed in not yet having the opportunity to meet the Taylor family patriarch.

“He came in about five minutes before visiting hours ended,” Justin said in an annoyed voice. “He said he ‘might’ come for a longer visit after dinner this evening.”

Justin had won his third rummy game in a row when none other than Debbie Novotny came through the door carrying a large vase of multi-colored spring flowers, which were obstructing her view.

“Hey, Sunshine!” Debbie yelled as she walked into the room and sat the flowers down on the dresser across from the bed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it in to see you yesterday, but Betty called in sick and the diner was a fucking circus.”

Debbie turned around to look at Justin and was very surprised to see Brian, who was clad in a hospital-issued gown and pants. “Brian? What the hell are you doing here, and dressed in that getup?”

“Uh…” Brian said as he searched for an excuse. “I came here to see Justin, and I, uh… spilled coffee all over my suit. A very hot orderly took pity on me.”

“Bullshit,” Debbie said as she put her hands on her hips. “You want to try that again, and the truth this time?”

Brian and Justin locked eyes for a moment before Brian looked back to Debbie and sighed. “Alright… I donated a kidney to Justin.”

“You did what?” Debbie said in an astonished tone as she walked closer to him. “Why would you do such a thing? I mean, it was very generous of you, but-”

“I know,” Brian interrupted. “That’s probably the last thing anyone that knows me would expect for me to do, but…” He paused to look back at Justin. “I wanted to help him.”

Debbie took a few moments to stare at Brian, her mouth wide open, before walking over to place a hand on his shoulder. “Well, I’m glad to see that you’re okay - both of you.” She then leaned over to give Brian a gentle hug before pulling back and slapping his face a little rougher than usual. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“Ow,” Brian said as he rubbed his cheek. “I didn’t tell anyone, not even the people at work. I didn’t want anybody to make a big deal about it, especially you.”

“But it  _is_  a big deal!” Debbie yelled. “You just had a major surgery and you need to rest. Who’s going to take care of you after you go home?”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Brian said. “I’m taking two weeks of vacation time to recuperate, and I’ll be just fine on my own once I get back to the loft.”

“But… but…” Debbie sputtered, desperately searching for a reason to help her quasi-son. “You’ll be on pain killers, and you shouldn’t drive when-”

“I’ve driven while under the influence of drugs much stronger than Vicodin,” Brian said.

Debbie smirked. “That doesn’t make it okay to drive when you’re on Vicodin or anything stronger… and you better not drink or do any other drugs when you take them.”

“No shit,” Brian said. “Do you think I don’t know what drugs not to mix? Besides, that’s what they make taxis for, when you’re not supposed to drive.”

“But… what about food? Grocery shopping? Cooking?” Debbie asked, now frantically waving her arms. “The last time I brought food to your place, you had nothing but beer and poppers in the fridge. It’s no wonder you’re so fucking skinny.”

“That’s what they make delivery for, Deb” Brian said, now getting annoyed. This was exactly why he wanted to keep his involvement in Justin’s transplant a secret.

“You can’t have delivered food for every meal!” Debbie yelled, now really working herself into a state.

“Debbie!” Justin finally interjected. “If Brian doesn’t want your help, I think you should respect his wishes.”

Debbie walked around Brian’s chair and leaned in close to Justin. “Well, you obviously don’t know me very well, Sunshine. I sure as hell hope that  _your_  mother will be there to take care of you, once you go home.”

Justin scoffed. “She’s been hovering over me since my diabetes diagnosis when I was six, and she’s been even worse since my kidneys failed. I had to practically force her to go home for some rest earlier, because she hardly got any sleep on that thing last night,” he said, pointing to the bench-like couch in front of the window. “I’m sure she’ll be up my ass twenty-four seven after I get out of here.”

Debbie held her hand out, palm up, to Justin while looking at Brian. “You see? That’s what good mothers do when their kids are sick or injured.”

Brian closed his eyes and sighed in defeat. “Alright. You can bring me over some food, but that’s it.”

“Good,” Debbie said with a proud smile on her face. “When will they be releasing you?”

“In two days, hopefully in the morning. I’ll take a cab home.”

“I’ll use my emergency key to stock up your fridge before then,” Debbie said. “And I’ll come by that evening to cook you a hot meal.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Brian droned, secretly a little happy that he’d have some real food to eat when he went home.

Debbie spent a few more minutes chatting with the boys before leaving to go grocery shopping.

“She loves you,” Justin said after Debbie was out of sight.

“Yeah,” Brian said with a slight smile.

“And you know she’s going to tell  _everybody_  now,” Justin added.

“Yeah,” Brian said sadly, his smile turning into a frown.

********************

Just as expected, Brian spent that evening and the next day being visited by Emmett, Ted, and Lindsay with baby Gus in tow. Even Melanie stopped by on her lunch hour, although she admitted that Lindsay told her to do so. Although he did not plan on taking any of it home, Brian’s hospital room quickly filled with flowers, balloons, and  _Get Well Soon_  cards. Kenny the waiter even sent Brian one of those teddy bears they somehow squeeze inside of a see-through balloon full of rainbow-colored confetti. Because his AIDS made it unsafe for him to go into the germ-infested hospital, Vic gave Brian a call to wish him a speedy recovery.

Brian was not at all surprised to receive a call from Michael the evening after Debbie discovered him at the hospital.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were doing this?” Michael screeched on the line, sounding just like his mother.

“It’s not like we’ve talked recently, Mikey,” Brian pointed out.

“And whose fucking fault is that, Brian?” Michael griped.

Brian sighed. “Like I told you before, I’ve been really busy at work, more so lately since I knew that I’d be taking a couple of weeks off to recover from the surgery.”

“You could have picked up the fucking phone, asshole,” Michael insisted. “It doesn’t take but a minute to make a fucking phone call to tell your best friend that you’re having surgery.”

“It’s not like you could have done anything from there, besides worry. Besides, I didn’t know if you had found a job or not and when you’d be available to talk,” Brian said.

“You could have asked Ma, or Emmett or Ted. And if you would have ever picked up or called, you would have known that I haven’t found a job yet.”

“With your retail experience, you should have no problem finding a job,” Brian said.

“I’m over-qualified for everything,” Michael said. “I’ve put in applications in stores all over town, and no one's hiring for a manager’s position. And besides, I really don’t want another retail job.”

“You’re not qualified for anything else, so you can’t be too picky.”

Michael groaned. “Christ, you sound just like David. ‘When are you going to get a job, Michael? You need to get out of the house, Michael. You’re being too picky, Michael.’”

Brian couldn’t help but smile. “Trouble in paradise?”

“I sure as hell wouldn’t call Portland 'paradise,'” Michael said. “It ain’t like we’re in Miami or Cancun.”

“Well, it sounds to me like you’re regretting ever moving out there,” Brian said.

“No,” Michael said defensively. “I love being out here with David and Hank, but-”

“You’d rather be here where you belong,” Brian said in a confident tone. “Portland will never be home to you.”

Michael sighed after a few moments of silence. “Look… I’m going to let you go. I’m sure you need to rest.”

“Uh-huh,” Brian said sarcastically, knowing that he struck a nerve.

“I’ll call you at home in a few days to see how you’re doing.”

“Alright. Bye, Mikey,” Brian said before hanging up.

********************

Brian was relieved when Thursday morning arrived and the doctor signed his release papers after giving him long list of aftercare instructions. Brian packed his small rolling suitcase and walked down the hallway to Justin’s room to say goodbye.

He was happy to see that Justin was alone and awake, drawing something on a sketch pad.

“Hey,” Justin said after looking up at the sound of Brian’s footsteps. He then turned the sketch pad over, since did not want Brian to see one of the many sketches of him that he had created.

“So, they’re setting me free,” Brian said.

“I can see that,” Justin said, trying to mask his disappointment as he looked over at Brian’s suitcase.

Apparently, Brian could hear and see it. “Hey… you’ll be getting out of here in a couple of days.”

“I know,” Justin said. “It’s just… it’s been nice being in the same building with you these past few days, even if you were down the hall most of the time.”

Brian smiled, as he couldn’t help but feel the same way. “Well, you’ll have your mom and the nurses to keep you company until you go.”

“Whoopie,” Justin said dryly.

“And you can call me at home when you get really bored,” Brian added. “I’ll just be lying around eating the tons of food Deb will be making for me. I'll probably gain twenty pounds over the next couple of weeks.”

“Could I call you even if I get just a little bit bored?” Justin asked uneasily. “Or if I just want to say hi?”

Brian nodded, unable to keep from smiling. “Sure.”

“Okay, well… I guess I’ll see you around sometime,” Justin said, hoping it would be sooner rather than later.

“Yep,” Brian said. He stood at the side of the bed for a few moments before sitting down next to Justin and leaning in to kiss him.

What was meant to be a short goodbye kiss quickly turned into a passionate make-out with each man holding onto the other’s neck for dear life, as if Brian was about to go off to war.

A couple of minutes later, both became unaware of the fact that they were not alone in the room anymore after Craig Taylor walked through the doorway.


	11. The Confrontation

“What the fuck is this?” Craig yelled.

Upon hearing his father’s voice, Justin released Brian and pulled away quickly, which caused a sharp pain in his belly. “Dad, uh…” Justin said in a strained voice.

“Get the fuck away from him!” Craig yelled at Brian, who got up from the bed as quickly as he could without hurting himself.

Just as Brian’s feet hit the floor, Craig charged at him, grabbing him by the front of his black t-shirt. “You Goddamned pervert!” Craig yelled in Brian’s face.

“Dad, stop it!” Justin screamed as he tried to get between them, only creating more pain in his abdomen and incision site.

Normally, Brian would be able to defend himself against someone trying to attack him face-to-face, but he was unable to in his weakened state. Craig had him on the floor before Justin’s attending nurse for the day, a young woman named Hillary, and an orderly ran into the room to see what the commotion was about.

Craig managed to connect a blow to the side of Brian’s face before the orderly, a tall, muscular man, was able to pull him off. Nurse Hillary, who recognized Brian from his stay at the hospital, went down to her knees to tend to him.

“This man was trying to rape my son!” Craig yelled as he struggled in the orderly’s arms.

“No, he wasn’t!” Justin screamed, tears now streaming down his reddened face from the physical and emotional pain his father was causing him.

“I’m gonna kill you, you fucking faggot!” Craig roared while the orderly attempted to drag him out into the hallway. A male doctor soon arrived and grabbed Craig’s flailing feet, and the two were able to remove a still-ranting Craig from the room.

Hillary and another nurse managed to get Brian off the floor and onto the bedside chair. Despite Hillary’s order to stay in his bed, Justin got up to check on Brian.

“Are you okay?” Justin choked out through his tears.

“Yeah,” Brian said. “Just a little embarrassed that your old man nearly kicked my ass.”

Justin caressed Brian’s cheek, which was pink from the hit. “I’m so sorry.”

Brian smiled a bit as he reached up to wipe a tear from Justin’s face. “It’s not your fault, Sunshine.”

Two security guards soon entered the room to get Brian and Justin’s side of the story after speaking to Craig outside.

“That older man is your father, correct?” one of the guards, whose name tag identified him as Daniel Collins, asked Justin.

“Yes,” Justin said as Hillary helped him back onto his bed.

Daniel then pointed to Brian. “And he is...?”

Justin bit his lip as he thought about it, unsure of how to label Brian. He went with a safe answer. “He’s my friend.”

“And was he trying to force himself on you?” Daniel asked.

“No!” Justin quickly said. “We were just kissing.”

“Last I checked, it’s not illegal for two grown men to suck face,” Brian said, trying to cut the tension.

Daniel raised an eyebrow as the other guard chuckled. “Alright. Do you wish to press charges on his father for attacking you, Mister…?”

“Kinney,” Brian answered. “And no, I’m fine.”

A teary-eyed Jennifer Taylor arrived a few moments later and rushed over to Justin’s bedside. “My God, Justin, what happened?” she asked. “Your father said that some man tried to force himself on you?!”

“No, Mom,” Justin, who had managed to calm down enough to stop crying, said. “Dad walked in when me and Brian were kissing, and he went nuts and hit Brian.”

Jennifer’s head quickly turned to look at Brian, who was now holding a cold compress to his cheek. “Kissing?” she repeated.

Brian, who knew from his previous talks with Justin that he wasn’t out to his parents yet, didn’t know what to say. “Uh…”

“Yes, Mom,” Justin said in a confident tone.

Jennifer’s tears spilled down her cheeks as she pressed a hand to her chest. “So you’re…?”

Justin looked directly into his mother’s eyes as he announced, “I’m gay… have been for a long time.”

Jennifer covered her mouth and released a tiny whimper before turning to walk out of the room.

After Brian and Justin confirmed to the staff members in the room that they were both okay, Justin sunk back into his inclined bed once they were alone again. “Shit,” he whispered.

Brian took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I’m… sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“You probably didn’t want them to find out you were gay like that,” Brian clarified.

“No… but at least I don’t have to worry about telling them anymore,” Justin said with a small chuckle. “I’ve never seen my dad that pissed.”

Brian took the compress from his cheek and sat it down on the bed table. “That’s nothing like the Oscar-worthy performances that my old man used to put on when I was younger.”

Justin frowned. “Did he ever hit you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Brian said. “Several times.”

Before Justin could say anything else, Jennifer returned to the room, her mascara smeared under her eyes. She looked at Brian and asked, “Could you excuse us, please? I need to talk to my son, alone.”

Brian gave Justin a sympathetic look before slowly getting out of the chair. “Yeah, I was just saying goodbye before your husband so rudely interrupted us. And I’m fine, by the way, thanks for asking.”

Justin bit his bottom lip to hold back new tears as he watched Brian grab the handle of his suitcase and slowly walk out of the room.

********************

“It was horrible,” Justin said to Daphne when she came to the hospital to visit him after school later that day. “I mean, I knew that my dad wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that I’m gay, but I never imagined him doing something like  _that_.”

Daphne shook her head. “I wish that I could have been here to help you.”

Justin scoffed. “We wouldn’t have been making out if you had been here, so Dad wouldn’t have caught us.”

“It wouldn’t have bothered me to see you guys kissing,” Daphne said with a guilty smile.

“You freak!” Justin said while trying not to laugh too hard, so he wouldn’t hurt himself again. “But anyway, to make matters worse, my mom showed up and talked to my dad outside in the hallway. He told her that Brian was trying to rape me.”

Daphne’s mouth dropped open. “Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah. I told her that no, I was kissing Brian willingly, and then I dropped the bomb on her. She had to go outside to collect herself, and then she came back and asked Brian to leave so we could talk, and he did.”

“What did she say?”

“Well, first she said that my dad was escorted out of the building and was told not to come back for the rest of my stay. Then, she said she always suspected I might have been gay, just like you did when I came out to you, but that she wanted to believe that I wasn’t, that I was just ‘sensitive’ or ‘artistic.’”

Daphne rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” Justin continued. “She asked me if I was absolutely sure, if I wasn’t just kissing Brian out of curiosity or something, but I told her no, it’s much more than that. I’m in love Brian and all I want is to be with him.”

“Did you tell her you guys fucked the other night?” Daphne asked, her eyes wide.

Justin sighed. “She asked if we had done anything yet, and I told her we had. I promised her that we were safe about it. God, it was so embarrassing, but you should have seen how red  _she_  got!”

Daphne giggled.

“She was worried that I only feel this way about Brian because of him giving me his kidney, but I told her that it was love at first sight… at least for me. I don’t know how he feels.”

“I’m sure he cares about you.”

“After what Dad did to him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see me again,” Justin said sadly.

********************

“I told you not to mess with that kid, didn’t I?” Debbie yelled from her place in front of Brian’s stove, where she was browning some ground beef. “But noooooo, you wouldn’t listen.”

“When do I ever listen to you?” Brian asked from the couch.

Debbie snorted. “Only about five percent of the time… I don’t know why even I waste my breath.”

“And yet, here you are, bitching at me…” Brian droned.

“I’m not saying it wasn’t a great thing you did for him, giving him your kidney, but you should have just left it at that. But no, you had to go and fuck him, didn’t you?”

“Duh,” Brian said. “This is me we’re talking about, remember? And he was ripe for the picking.”

Debbie sat her spatula down and walked over towards the couch. “But you know he’s going to want more than that from you now! He has a piece of your body inside of him-”

“He had a piece of my body inside of him the other night, before the surgery,” Brian quipped.

“Oh, shut up! Do you honestly believe that Justin won’t want to be with you again?”

“It doesn’t matter if he does or not. We were only together for one night... alright, I blew him once before we actually fucked, but now I've had him. We all know that I have a 'no returns' policy.”

Debbie threw up her hands before returning to the stove. “Well, I’ll be the one saying ‘I told you so’ when he comes back for more, and I’ll be the one calling you an asshole after you break his heart.”

Brian sighed and closed his eyes. He honestly did not want to hurt the kid, but it was inevitable. Even after what he did for Justin, he was still Brian Fucking Kinney, the Stud of Liberty Avenue. Although he greatly enjoyed the night that he and Justin had spent together, what was done was done. Once he was fully healed up from his surgery in a month or so, it would be business as usual for him. Besides, Justin knew who he was dealing with before he ever came to the loft the first time.

Debbie’s voice broke into his thoughts. “It’s going to be hell for him, once he gets home. That father of his sounds like a hateful bastard.”

“I was raised by a hateful bastard, and I turned out fine,” Brian said sarcastically.

“Please,” Debbie said. “Your father didn’t find out you were gay until a few months before he died earlier this year, and you only told him because  _I_  told you to. Imagine if he had found out when you were eighteen, especially the way Justin’s father found out today.”

“Well, luckily I was away at college when I was eighteen, living in the dorms.”

“But Justin still lives at home, in the same house as that man!” Debbie said.

“We can’t change the past, Deb. His parents know now, and they’ll all just have to live with it. They’ll get over it eventually.”

“I sure hope so,” Debbie said, echoing Brian’s thoughts.


	12. Where Do I Go?

“You can’t be serious!” Jennifer yelled at her husband the evening after she and Craig had discovered that Justin was gay.

“I mean it, Jen,” Craig said as he paced the floor in their living room. “I don’t want that little faggot living under my roof!”

Jennifer gasped at the slur. “Craig!”

“And I don’t care where the fuck he goes,” Craig added.

“But… but if he doesn’t live with you, he can’t be on your insurance anymore!”

“That’s his problem,” Craig said.

“We can’t just throw him out, not right after his surgery,” Jennifer said in a pleading tone. “He can’t take care of himself right now. He needs me to cook for him, to give him his medications-”

“He’s an adult, Jen. You can’t baby him for the rest of his life,” Craig said. “He can go live with that… that  _man_ , for all I give a shit.”

“You mean that Brian guy?” Jennifer asked.

“Whoever the fuck it was that had his tongue down your son’s throat,” Craig growled in disgust.

“ _My_ son?”  

Craig got right in his wife’s face before saying, “I don’t have a son anymore… and if you don’t like it, you can get the fuck out, too.”

Jennifer stood with a horrified look on her face as she watched her husband of almost twenty years walk upstairs before he slammed their bedroom door shut.

********************

Justin called Brian the next day, which a Friday, after eating lunch.

“Yeah?” Brian answered groggily.

“Hey, it’s Justin. Did I wake you up?”

“No, I’m just lying down.”

“Are you in bed?” Justin asked in a breathy voice.

Brian chuckled. “Yeah. I’m glad to be out of that fucking hospital bed.”

“I know. Hospital beds are never comfortable,” Justin said. “I’ve laid in plenty over the years.”

“Well, hopefully you won’t have to go back into the hospital again for a long time.”

Justin sighed. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

After a pause, Brian asked, “So, how did it go with your mom after I left?”

“She told me that I’m too young to know if I’m gay or not, but then I asked her if she was sure that she was straight when she was my age, and she said yes.”

“What, she didn’t have any lesbian experiences in college?”

“Eww! I hope not,” Justin said with a chuckle. “But I assured her that yes, I like dick.”

“Did you actually say ‘I like dick’?”

“Yep.”

Brian laughed, but then had to stop to cough. “Ugh. I’m still hacking up phlegm, since I quit smoking.”

“You quit, like completely?”

“Yeah. I’ve been cutting down since I decided to give you my kidney, and I haven’t smoked since last Saturday night. I threw the rest of the pack away.”

“I thought you smelled nicer on Sunday,” Justin said.

“I haven’t even craved a cigarette since Sunday night, because I’m used to lighting up after sex,” Brian said.

Justin smiled as he recalled for what he would swear was the millionth time he had thought about the night he and Brian had spent together. It wasn’t the horrible experience that Brian said it would probably be for him. Although it was painful at times, Justin knew that he would always remember the night he lost his virginity fondly, mostly because of the amazing man he gave it to.

“So anyway, what did Mommy have to say after her baby boy told her he liked dick?” Brian asked.

“She asked me if I’ve had any ‘experiences’ yet. I told I’ve done everything but suck a dick.”

Brian laughed again. “Not  _everything_. You haven’t topped or rimmed.”

“Is that an invitation?” Justin asked, his breathy voice returning.

“Uh… well, it wasn’t intended to be,” Brian said uneasily.

“Oh,” Justin said, trying not to sound disappointed. “Um… I need to let you go. I have to test my blood sugar, and that takes both hands.” He actually didn’t need to test for another two hours, since he had just finished his lunch, but he was now desperate to get off the phone.

“Okay,” Brian said. “Later.”

“Yeah,” Justin said before he heard Brian end the call.

********************

Jennifer picked Justin up from the hospital the next day. She had not yet told Justin about his father throwing him out of the house, as she had hoped that Craig would change his mind once he calmed down. After asking him about it the previous evening, Craig again told her that Justin was no longer welcome in his house, but that he hoped she would stay.

Even as Jennifer pulled her car out of the hospital lot and turned onto the highway, knowing that she wasn’t taking Justin home, she still couldn’t find the strength to tell him.

After driving for several minutes with the only sounds in the car being an easy listening station playing quietly on the radio, Justin realized that something was wrong after Jennifer failed to make their turn-off. “You missed the exit.”

“I… I know. We’re going to Christine’s house,” Jennifer said, referring to her younger sister that lived a few miles from them.

“Why?” Justin asked.

Jennifer bit her lip as she began to tear up. “Because… because your father…”

Justin looked at his mother’s profile as he waited for her to finish her sentence. “Because Dad what, Mom? Tell me.”

“He said you can’t live with us anymore,” she finally said.

Justin leaned his head back on the seat. He hadn’t been looking forward to returning home, but he had also been afraid of Craig doing something drastic like this. “And you’re letting him kick me out?”

“Believe me, I’ve tried to talk him out of it for the last two days, but he won’t budge.”

“Why are you only telling me this now?” Justin asked.

“I didn’t want to upset you-”

“Well, I’m upset now!” Justin yelled. “Where the fuck am I supposed to go?”

Jennifer tried to sound enthusiastic. “Christine said you can stay in her basement for as long as you’d like, and I’ll stay there with you while-”

“I’m not living with her,” Justin said in an angry tone.

“But Honey, you’ve always liked it over there.”

“No, I haven’t, not with those fucking brats of hers,” Justin said. Christine had three children under the age of twelve, and he had only tolerated them during visits to Christine’s house over the years.

“Then where do you expect to live, Justin?” Jennifer said, beginning to get angry at his lack of appreciation for Christine’s invitation and how he was speaking about his cousins.

“I’ll stay with Brian,” he answered.

“Oh, no, you won’t,” Jennifer answered sternly as she took the exit closest to her sister’s house.

“Yes, I will!” Justin said. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Jennifer sighed. “Honey, I know you’re eighteen and legally, you can do what you want-”

“That’s right.”

“But this Brian… I’m sure he cares about you to some degree, but probably not like you care for him.”

“I love him, Mom.”

“I know that you  _think_  you do,” Jennifer said. “But I’m sure that he doesn’t love you. I mean, this Brian… he must be in his thirties!”

“Stop calling him ‘this Brian,’ like that’s his name. It’s just ‘Brian,’” Justin clarified. “And he just turned thirty last month.”

“Then that makes him nearly twelve years older than you.”

“And?”

“And, he’s too old for you!” Jennifer answered. “You need to be with someone your own age.”

“What, some stupid kid that doesn’t know shit?”

Jennifer smiled ironically. “If you think that someone your age is a ‘stupid kid,’ then what does that say for you?”

Justin opened his mouth to retort, but stopped when he realized that she had a point. Maybe he  _was_  a stupid kid, but he knew that he wasn’t wrong about his feelings for Brian. He also knew that Brian must have had feelings for him beyond physical ones, despite Brian balking over Justin asking him if he was inviting him to top and rim him the day before.

A few minutes later, Jennifer parked the car in front of Christine’s house and cut the engine. “I’ll help you get into the house, and then I’ll go to the pharmacy to get your prescriptions. I need to let them know not to deliver your next insulin shipment to your father’s house; that I’ll pick it up, instead.”

Justin remained in the passenger seat as Jennifer hit the button to open the trunk, opened her door, and got out of the car without taking her keys out of the ignition. He slid over to the driver’s seat while he watched his mother remove his suitcase from the trunk and slam the lid shut in the rearview mirror.

The moment after the trunk lid was closed, Justin turned the engine over, threw the car into drive, and took off.

 ********************

Justin arrived at Brian’s building about twenty minutes later. His mother’s cell phone, which was in her purse in the backseat of the car, had rung several times during his trip over. He had no doubt that it was his mother calling from his aunt’s house, but he wasn’t about to answer it only to hear Jennifer’s outrage of him stealing her car. His only hope was that she had not called the police.

Justin rode the elevator up to the fourth floor and knocked on Brian’s door.

“Hold the fuck on!” Justin heard Brian yell after he knocked a second time.

Brian pulled the door open a few seconds later. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Were you expecting someone else?” Justin asked.

“No, but I sure wasn’t expecting you.”

Justin bit his bottom lip. “Can I come in?”

Brian stepped aside and closed the door once Justin was inside. He followed Justin over to the couch, where he watched the boy sit down slowly with a look of pain on his face.

“Still hurting?” Brian asked, although he knew the answer. He himself was still experiencing some abdominal pain, so he knew that Justin had to be, too, since his surgery was more invasive.

“Yeah, it’s mostly when I go to sit down or stand up,” Justin said. “I could probably use a Vicodin.”

“Do you want one of mine?” Brian asked. “They gave me more than I’ll probably need.”

Justin unzipped his messenger bag, which was in his lap. “No, I have some in here.”

Brian went over to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. He came back and handled the bottle to Justin before sitting down next to him.

“Thanks,” Justin said after swallowing down the white pill.

“So… what are you doing here?” Brian asked. “I thought you’d be home resting.”

Justin snorted. “What home? My dad threw me out.”

Brian raked his hand through his hair and sighed. “Shit. He’s an even bigger homophobic prick than I thought.”

“Yeah, and my mom didn’t even tell me about it until after we were on our way to my aunt’s house after I got out of the hospital earlier.”

“Then how did you get over here?” Brian asked. “Wouldn’t your car be at your parent’s house?”

“I sort of stole my mom’s car after we got to my aunt’s house,” Justin answered with a sheepish smile.

Brian laughed. “Wow. So where are you going to live, now that you’re homeless?”

Justin reached over to rub the top of Brian’s hand. “I was hoping with you.”

Brian pulled his hand away and scoffed. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

Justin looked at Brian with his mouth open, unsure of what to say.

Brian got up and walked over to his beverage cart by the window. “I mean, it’s really shitty what your dad did-”

“You shouldn’t be drinking when you’ve been taking Vicodin,” Justin said as Brian opened a bottle of Jameson.

“Thanks, Debbie, but I got this,” Brian said as he poured himself a shot before tossing it back.

“Why can’t I live here with you?” Justin asked.

“Because my place is only big enough for one person, and that’s me,” Brian said.

Justin looked around the immense space in the loft. “This place is fucking huge, and I don’t take up much room.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that,” Brian said. “I don’t  _want_ anyone to live with me. I’ve been on my own since I got out of college at twenty-two, and I like it that way.”

“So, not even me, after all we’ve been through together?” Justin asked.

Brian sighed. “Look, just because I gave you a kidney, doesn’t mean we have a special bond or something. Plenty of people donate their kidneys to people they never see again. Plus, you already knew that I have fucked a lot of guys, and I’m certainly not friends with any of them. And above all else, I don’t do boyfriends, period. So what makes you think you’re any different than any other trick I’ve been with?”

Justin got up and walked over to stand in front of Brian. “You can’t honestly tell me that I’m just another trick. Although you supposedly don't do dates, either, we’ve shared meals, we’ve watched movies together, and you took me out to Woody’s and Babylon, all before we ever fucked. And you can’t say that you did all that just to get in my pants, because instead of wasting time with me, you could have just gone out and found someone else to fuck. Plus, you wouldn’t have given me your kidney if you didn’t care about me and my wellbeing, so you can't just toss me out of here like you don't give a shit.”

“Believe what you want to believe,” Brian said with a shrug. “Even if your dad won’t let you come home, I’m sure your mom would never let you end up on the streets. At least you have one parent you can depend on; that's more than I've ever had.”

Brian stared into Justin’s blue eyes for a few more moments before walking over to his door and pulling it open. “You’d better get your mom’s car back to her before that pill kicks in. She’s probably worried sick about you.”

Justin picked his bag up from the couch and walked to the doorway. He paused to look into Brian’s hazel eyes before walking out of the loft, and Brian pulled his door closed before Justin even stepped into the elevator.


	13. Be Our Guest

Jennifer walked into the Liberty Avenue diner on Monday morning. Her eyes roamed around the room, taking in the people enjoying their greasy breakfasts before going to work that day. She was surprised to see that although this diner was in the middle of the city’s gay neighborhood, most of the patrons looked… normal.

She jumped when a red-headed woman in a rainbow vest covered in buttons spoke to her from behind the long counter. “I think you may be lost, Honey. Chico’s is on the other side of town.”

“Um… I’m Jennifer Taylor, Justin’s mom. I came to pick up his paycheck.”

Debbie gasped happily. “Oh, you’re Sunshine’s mom! I see why he’s so adorable now. How’s he doing?”

“He’s recovering nicely,” Jennifer answered, trying to sound upbeat.

But Debbie noticed that Jennifer had a sad look on her face. “Are you sure about that?”

Jennifer sighed as she recalled the events of that weekend.

After walking into his aunt’s house on Saturday afternoon, Justin tossed Jennifer’s keys at her and headed toward the basement door, completely ignoring his mother’s questions about where he had gone and why he would take her car like he did. He slammed the door in Jennifer’s face before stomping down the basement stairs. She could hear him crying through the door.

Jennifer decided to give her son some space over the next twenty-four hours, but sat down next to Justin on Christine’s futon to talk to him the next day. Justin told her about his trip to Brian’s loft and his subsequent rejection of him. She held her only child while he sobbed on her shoulder.

“You know, I thought that after I had my transplant, my life would be great,” Justin had said to her. “But now… my life fucking sucks!”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jennifer insisted as she lightly scratched Justin’s head, which had always comforted him.

“Yes, it does!” he said as he pulled away from her, his eyes and nose red. “My own father doesn’t want me, only because I’m queer. The man I love doesn’t want me… why not, I really don’t know. I work at a diner making minimum wage, where every guy there thinks it’s okay to grope me whenever they want. I’ll probably never get to go to art school…”

Jennifer wrapped her arms around Justin again. “Yes, you will, Sweetheart. Even if I have to cash in my retirement to pay for it, you’ll go to art school.”

“No, Mom. I can’t let you do that,” Justin said. “You’ll need that money.”

Jennifer put her hands on Justin’s cheeks and looked into his eyes. “Honey, even as bad as your life may seem right now, remember that you can always rely on me.”

Justin gave her a small smile. “Thank you, Mom.” He then put his head in her lap as a new wave of tears hit him.

Back in the present, Jennifer slowly nodded. “He’ll be okay… I hope.”

Debbie opened the cash register and handed Jennifer a white envelope with Justin’s name on it a moment later.

“Thanks,” Jennifer said before putting the envelope in her purse and turning to leave.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Debbie said. “Why don’t you sit down and have some coffee?”

“I stopped drinking coffee,” Jennifer said.

Debbie rolled her eyes. “Of course you did… how about some herbal tea? It’s on the house.”

Jennifer realized that Debbie wanted to talk, so she decided to humor her. “Sure,” she said before taking an empty stool at the counter.

Debbie rooted through a box of tea bags, throwing a condom over her shoulder before pulling out a packet of “Get Happy” tea. She poured Jennifer a mug of hot water and leaned over the counter in front of her. “So, what’s going on with Justin?” she asked.

“Well, his father just recently discovered that he’s gay,” Jennifer began as she put the tea bag in the mug.

Debbie nodded. “I know.”

Jennifer wondered how this woman would know that, but decided not to ask. “And now Craig, my husband, won’t let Justin come home. He said he’s not welcome anymore.”

Debbie’s face reflected her anger at this news. “What?” she screeched. “But Sunshine just had a kidney transplant, for fuck’s sake!”

“Regardless, Craig said he doesn’t want a…” Jennifer closed her eyes and whispered “fag” and finished the rest of her sentence in her normal volume, “living under his roof.”

Debbie sighed in sadness. “Poor Sunshine…”

“And also,” Jennifer continued. “There’s this… man that Justin has been seeing-”

“His name wouldn’t happen to be Brian Kinney, would it?” Debbie said, although it was more of a statement than a question.

Jennifer nodded. “And I guess you know that this Brian was his kidney donor?”

The cook rang a bell and called Debbie’s name, which she ignored. “Oh, yeah, although I didn’t know that until I came to visit Sunshine the day after the transplant and found Brian in his room playing cards with him, dressed in hospital jammies. Brian has been best friends with my son Michael since they were fourteen, although they’ve grown apart since Michael moved to Portland last month. I’ve been watching over Brian since he’s been home from the hospital, and I know every sordid detail of that asshole’s shenanigans with Sunshine. Believe me, I told him to leave the kid alone the first day they met, right here in this diner, but once he sets his sights on a guy he wants, he’s like a shark smelling blood.”

“Well, since the shark told Justin that he couldn’t live with him, Justin’s been-”

“He told him  _what_?!” Debbie yelled. “Oh, that… that…” She paused to take a deep breath. “I fucking knew this would happen. Where is Sunshine staying now?”

“We’re both staying with my sister - him on the basement futon and me on the living room couch - but I know he hates it there. He only comes out of the basement to use the upstairs bathroom. Although I thought that he always liked them, he can’t stand my sister’s three kids. I guess I don’t blame him, because those kids ran around the house like wild animals all weekend. Justin said they sounded like a herd of stampeding buffalo overhead.”

The cook rang the bell before yelling Debbie’s name again.

“Keep your fucking shirt on!” Debbie yelled back. She then pulled her order pad from her pocket and wrote something down. “This is my address; it’s walking distance from here. My brother Vic lives with me, but I have a spare bedroom. Vic is there now, and I’ll call to let him know that you and Sunshine are on your way over. We only have one bathroom, but…”

Jennifer looked down at Debbie’s hand, which was holding the piece of paper out to her. “Oh… no. I couldn’t-”

“Yes, you can, and you will,” Debbie replied in a no-nonsense tone. “I’m making tuna noodle casserole tonight, and there will be plenty for all of us.”

Jennifer took the paper, knowing that Debbie wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Thank you.” She left a moment later.

After Debbie delivered her order, she picked up the phone. She did not, however, dial her house number.

“Hey,” she said when it was answered. “Do you feel up to coming over for dinner tonight? I’m making your favorite, tuna noodle casserole… Don’t argue with me, asshole, you fucking love it.”

********************

Brian parked the Jeep behind an unfamiliar white car at six o’clock sharp and cut the engine. Just as he always did, he let himself into Debbie’s house and stopped short when he heard a familiar voice.

“I’ve always I wanted to be an animator, but I really enjoy painting, too,” he heard Justin say.

Brian walked closer and saw the back of Justin’s blonde head. The owner of the head was sitting at Debbie’s kitchen table next to a blonde woman, his mother.

“You should see this painting he made for my birthday last year,” Jennifer said to Vic and Debbie. “It’s a beautiful abstract that reminds me of a spring day. I have it across from my desk at work, and I always smile when I look at it.”

Since he had not yet been noticed, Brian was about to turn around and leave before Debbie called out to him. “Hey, Brian. Come and sit down!”

Justin and Jennifer both turned their heads to look at him, and both of their jaws dropped in surprise.

“Hey, kid. Long time, no see,” Vic said from his place at the table.

Brian walked over to Vic and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder in greeting. He then pulled the chair at Vic’s right out to sit, but Debbie stopped him.

“No, Honey, you sit over there,” she said as she pointed to the seat across from Vic, which was to Justin’s left. The sixth chair that was normally at the table was conveniently missing.

Brian sighed in defeat and sat where he was told. He gave Justin a forced smile before looking over at Jennifer. “Mrs. Taylor, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Please, call me Jennifer,” she requested. “My mother-in-law is 'Mrs. Taylor.'”

“Does she make you call her ‘Mrs. Taylor’?” Debbie asked as she began serving everyone.

“Sadly, yes,” Jennifer said. “I’ve been with her son for almost twenty-five years, but she’s always been ‘Mrs. Taylor’ to me.”

“The old, uptight bitch,” Justin mumbled, earning him a light swat on the arm by Jennifer.

Brian began stabbing at his food with his fork the second Debbie sat his plate in front of him.

“Christ, this isn’t a race,” Debbie said.

“I have somewhere I need to be,” Brian said with his mouth full of tuna and noodles.

“And where, pray tell, would that be?” Debbie asked. “You’re supposed to refrain from strenuous physical activities for at least three more weeks, so it better not be Babylon.”

Brian ignored her and continued to wolf down his food.

They all ate in silence for several seconds before Debbie said, “Oh, Brian, did I mention that Justin and Jennifer are going to be staying here?”

Brian choked a bit. “Why, no, Deb, you didn’t.”

“Well, I’ll only be staying until the end of the week, to take care of Justin,” Jennifer clarified. “I go back to work next Monday.”

“And then what?” Justin asked. “Where will you be going then?”

Brian polished off his plate and pushed his chair back.

“Sit,” Debbie barked. “There’s still dessert. Vic made a carrot cake.”

“I don’t eat dessert,” Brian said.

“When I invite you over for dinner, you do, but not until everyone else is finished with their dinner.”

Brian sighed as he slouched in his chair.

“By next week, you’ll be getting around on your own a lot easier,” Jennifer said to Justin. “Especially since your staples will be taken out this Wednesday.”

Justin looked down at his plate. “So, you’ll be going back home to Dad?”

Jennifer bit her bottom lip nervously. “Honey-”

“You know what?” Justin said as he dropped his fork on his plate with a clang and pushed his own chair back. “Why don’t you just go home tonight? I’ll be fine here without you.”

Jennifer watched as Justin stomped through the living room and opened the front door. “Justin!”

“Go after him,” Debbie said to Brian after Justin slammed the door behind him.

“Why me?” Brian asked. “I came here to eat, not console an angry teenager in the midst of family drama.”

“I think the two of you need to talk, anyway,” Jennifer sadly agreed.

Brian held his hands out, palms up. “About what? I have nothing to do with this.”

“Bullshit, you have  _everything_  to do with this!” Debbie said.

“Since when?” Brian asked.

“Since you took him home and fucked him!” she answered.

Brian sighed dramatically before getting up and going outside. 


	14. Reviewing the Situation

Brian walked out to the sidewalk and saw that Justin had made it halfway down the block. His longer legs and gait made it easy for him to catch up with the blonde.

“Where are you going?” Brian asked.

“I don’t know… leave me alone.”

“I wish I could,” he said as he continued to walk beside him. “But the Queen Bee sent me out here because, according to her and your mother, we have something to talk about.”

Justin stopped walking. “You want to talk? Okay, let’s talk about what a fucking mess my life is.”

“Look, I agree that it sucks that your mom is choosing to stay with your dad, even after he threw you out-”

“I understand why she’s staying with him,” Justin said. “She’s accustomed to the lifestyle she has with my dad. She makes a decent living on her own, but Dad brings in the big bucks and pays most of the bills.”

“Or, it may be that being with your dad is all she knows,” Brian guessed. “It took me a long time to realize that was probably why my mom chose to stay with my dad, despite the fact that he was an abusive, cheating asshole. He hit her and my sister sometimes, but I always got the worst of it. Although it was no doubt a loveless marriage, Saint Joanie stayed with the son of a bitch until the end.”

Justin crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the sidewalk. “That makes my problems sound so trivial, in comparison.”

“Yeah, well, at least Deb took you in. Hell, I practically lived in that house when I was in high school. You could do worse.”

Justin grinned. “I saw a younger picture of you on the corkboard over the dresser. You looked so geeky.”

“Fuck you, I wasn’t a geek,” Brian snapped.

Justin snickered. “But anyway, it’s not just my dad that doesn’t want me. You don’t want me, either, and it’s not even my fault. Well, it’s not my fault that my dad doesn’t want me; it’s not like I chose to be gay. But you-”

Brian sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you…?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Justin said. “You don’t do boyfriends, or dates, or love. Only fucking… but like I said the other day, I know that you care about me, whether you want to admit it or not.”

Brian rolled in his lips before saying, “Let’s go back to the house. You need to sit down and finish your dinner.”

Justin started walking again, away from Debbie’s house. “Deb only asked me to stay with her because she feels sorry for me. I’m tired of being the kid that everyone takes pity on. You… you’re the only one that hasn’t.”

“Right now, you’re doing a hell of a job feeling sorry for yourself, so you don’t need  _my_  pity,” Brian said. “So, how about you cut it out, because listening to self-pity makes my dick soft… and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Justin snorted. “I don’t know why the state of your dick should matter to me anymore, because you claim that you don’t fuck the same guy twice.”

“Well, I don’t need to, when there is never a shortage of new takers.”

“Why do you feel the need to fuck so many different guys, anyway?” Justin asked. “For one thing, you don’t know what the hell kind of diseases they could be carrying. And another, you already know that you’re the hottest guy in town and that everyone wants you, so why do you have to inflate your ego further by constantly adding notches to your belt?”

“Fucking the same person all the time is boring.”

“How would you know, since you don’t fuck the same person over and over?”

Brian grabbed Justin's arm and forced him to stop walking. “Can we stop, please? You’re going to wear yourself out, and I’m getting a cramp.”

“You were the one that shoved a plate of tuna casserole down your throat so you could get away from me faster,” Justin said.

“And you’re the one recovering from a kidney transplant,” Brian countered. “You’ve only been out of the hospital for two days.”

“Well, that’s the advantage of being as young as I am - you bounce back quick… in more ways than one.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “At your age, you could rub it against a tree and get a hard on, but being older means you don’t cum as quick.”

“Oh, yeah? The night we fucked, you came three times, and it was always  _right after_  I did,” Justin said.

“I could have lasted a lot longer than that,” Brian insisted. “I can control myself much more than you ever could, Sonny Boy.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Sure, you could.”

Brian raised an eyebrow before he took Justin’s hand and dragged him in between two houses. They continued to walk until they reached the back alley, where Brian pushed Justin up against the side of someone’s storage shed.

Brian looked both ways to make sure nobody was around before unbuttoning and unzipping Justin’s cargo pants. “Here’s your chance to prove yourself,” he said to Justin before planting his lips on his.

Justin returned the kiss as he undid Brian’s jeans, which he was wearing without underwear, and pulled them down enough to expose his dick, which was already responding to him. He was relieved to find that his own dick was coming to life, as he had not gotten an erection since before his surgery the previous week.

Brian and Justin continued to kiss as they began jerking each other off. Brian remembered how Justin loved it when he had sucked on his earlobes before, so he bent down to take one into his month.

 _Hmm… maybe there is one advantage of being with the same person more than once - you already know what they like_ , Brian thought to himself as he listen to Justin moan.

Justin used his left hand to reach underneath Brian’s shirt to rub his nipple. Although it was nearly ninety degrees out, it quickly hardened under Justin’s fingertips. He smiled when he heard Brian grunt.

“You like that, don’t you?” he whispered into Brian’s ear, mocking him.

“Shut up,” Brian said before nibbling on Justin’s bottom lip, another thing he recalled him enjoying. Indeed, the boy whimpered as they each continued to stroke each other.

As much as he was trying to hold it back, Justin began trembling a minute later. Brian, knowing that the boy was close, squatted down as quickly as he could. He barely managed to get the head of Justin’s cock into his mouth before Justin came with a loud groan.

Brian finished himself off and shot his load onto the grass. He stood back up a moment later, smacking his lips. “Mmm. You see? That’s what happens when you challenge the king to a cockfight.”

Justin struggled to remain standing as he watched Brian zip his own pants back up. “Asshole.”

Brian chuckled as he swiped his finger over Justin’s leaking slit and stuck it into Justin’s mouth.

“Ooh, that’s bitter,” Justin said.

“It’s an acquired taste. Swallowing is a skill that takes lots of practice,” Brian said as he fixed Justin’s clothes for him before heading back out to the street.

Justin was tempted to ask if that was another invitation, but decided not to, in fear of another negative reaction from Brian.

Once they made it back to Debbie’s house a few minutes later, they found Debbie and Jennifer talking on the front porch.

“Sweetheart, where did you go?” Jennifer asked Justin.

Justin scoffed. He was beyond tired of his mother treating him like he was a child. “We walked around the block.”

“Brian, I cut a piece of cake for you and I put on some decaf,” Debbie said, thinly veiling her attempt to force him back into the house so Justin and Jennifer could talk in private.

Despite the fact that he had no intention of eating the cake, Brian made eye contact with Justin for a moment before following Debbie inside.

Once they were alone, Jennifer began speaking. “Justin-”

“It’s okay, Mom,” Justin said. “I get it.”

Jennifer looked confused. “You… get what?”

Justin sighed as he remembered what Brian had said earlier. “You’re going back to Dad because he’s all you know. You’ve been with him for the last twenty-five years, and it can’t be easy to just walk away from that. Besides, he didn’t do anything to you personally, and it’s not your fault that he’s a homophobic prick that would rather throw his son out onto the streets than share a home with him.”

Jennifer’s eyes welled up. “Honey… I had no idea that your father would do that to you. I’ve known for a long time that you might have been gay, but Craig never wanted to believe it. He’s never been very crazy about gay people, due to his strict religious upbringing, but I hoped that he’d be able to accept that his son was gay, out of his love for you.”

“Well, apparently Craig’s love for me was conditional,” Justin replied. “He takes that ‘man shall not lie with another man’ shit too seriously to accept me.”

Jennifer placed her hands on Justin’s upper arms. “I’ll work on him, okay? I’ll get him to see that no matter who you’re attracted to, men or women, that you’re still the son he’s always loved.”

Justin shook his head. “You can’t force him, Mom. He made his decision the moment he saw me and Brian kissing at the hospital. He’ll never accept me for who I am, and I’m okay with that. If he wants to throw me away like a piece of trash, just because I’m gay, then I don’t want him, either.”

Jennifer dipped her head and sniffled. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

Justin pulled his mother in for a hug. “I know, Mom. Me, too, but it is what it is.”

After telling Justin that she would be there on Wednesday morning to pick him up for his doctor’s appointment, since despite his joy ride in her car the other day, Justin was not supposed to drive, Jennifer left to go back home to Craig.

Justin let himself back into the house and took his seat at the table. Debbie had reheated what was left of his tuna casserole, and he finished it while Brian, Debbie, and Vic gossiped about various people from the neighborhood.

“Oh, and get this,” Debbie said. “Kenny the waiter now wants to be called Kiki. Apparently he… uh,  _she_  has decided to start hormone therapy and live full-time as a woman. She showed up to work this morning wearing a fifties-style waitress uniform, face all made up with a curly auburn wig.”

“Well, I’d say it’s about time,” Vic said. “I see Ken- Kiki volunteering at the AIDS hospice a lot, and she always spends most of her time with Godiva. Godiva didn’t do the hormone route, but she’s lived as a woman for many years.”

“Who’s Godiva?” Justin asked.

“ _Who’s Godiva_?!” Debbie repeated, baffled.

“Give him a break, Sis. He’s just a pup,” Vic said, winking at Justin.

“Godiva is the most famous drag queen on Liberty Avenue. She took Emmett under her wing when he first moved here from Mississippi,” Debbie said.

“That explains so much about our dear Miss Honeycutt, doesn’t it?” Brian asked Justin, who smiled in response.

“Just like me, Godiva has had HIV since the eighties, back before we really knew what it was, but it progressed into AIDS a couple of years ago,” Vic explained to Justin, who was already aware of Vic’s illness. “She recently took a turn for the worst, and she lives at the hospice house now. She’s so weak, she can’t even walk. We don’t know how much time she has left, but she’s determined to live each day as fabulously as she can. No matter how terrible she feels, you never see her without her face made up and a wig on.”

Justin felt Brian kick his foot under the table. “So the next time you think that your life is a fucking mess, always remember that it could be much worse.”

After the four of them played a game of Scrabble (which Debbie won), Justin decided to call it a night. He began making his way up to his new room and was surprised to find Brian following him.

“I wanted to tuck the little princess in for the night,” Brian said, causing Justin to snicker.

Brian decided to wait in Justin’s room while the blonde went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He looked at the picture of Michael and himself on the corkboard, smiling at how geeky they really did look as teenagers.

He then looked down at the dresser and marveled at the numerous pill bottles lined up like little soldiers. He picked up each bottle and read the label.

Iron- 65 milligrams. Take one tablet daily with a meal.

Calcium - 600 milligrams. Take one tablet twice daily with a meal.

Tacrolimus - 0.1 milligrams. Take one tablet twice daily with or without food.

Mycophenolate Mofetil - 1 gram. Take one tablet twice daily one hour before or two hours after a meal.

Sirolimus - 5 milligrams. Take one tablet daily with a meal.

Prednisone - 5 milligrams. Take one tablet daily with a meal.

Justin walked into the room and caught Brian reading the last bottle. “I have quite the pharmacy there, huh?”

Brian sat the bottle back down. “Yeah.”

Justin pointed to the Tacrolimus, the Mycophenolate Mofetil, and the Sirolimus. “Those are my immunosuppressants, which I’ll have to take from now on to prevent me from rejecting your kidney. I’ll taper off the Prednisone eventually, because taking it for a long period of time isn’t good for you.

“This one,” Justin said as he pointed to the Tacrolimus, “increases your chance of diabetes. Since I already have that, I have to watch my blood sugar and my diet even closer now.” He then pointed to the Sirolimus. “This one causes anemia, which I already battled before the transplant, so that’s why I take iron supplements. Kidney failure can cause bone thinning, so that’s why I take the calcium. I’ll stop taking it when my doctor tells me to.”

“And how many times a day do you have to inject insulin?” Brian asked.

“Before each meal, so three times a day,” Justin answered. “And then I have to test my blood sugar two hours after I eat.”

Brian whistled. “That’s a lot of work, remembering to do all of that.”

Justin shrugged. “It’s either that or be dead. Not taking the immunosuppressants could kill me just as easily as not managing my diabetes. I choose to be alive.”

Brian looked into Justin’s eyes as he marveled at the young man standing in front of him. The strength of the kid nearly took his breath away, along with how physically beautiful he was. He put his forearms on Justin’s shoulders and pressed his forehead to his. “I’m glad you’re alive,” he whispered.

After sharing a brief kiss, the two men climbed into Michael’s old twin bed. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and said, “If you ever tell anyone we laid in bed and cuddled without fucking, I’ll tie your balls up so tight, they'll ache for a week.”

Justin giggled. “You’re secret’s safe with me.” He then closed his eyes and fell asleep in the arms of the man he loved.


	15. Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'

Justin woke up the next morning alone, the smell of Brian's shampoo still on his pillow. After taking a shower and then taking his morning medication and insulin, he went downstairs and was bummed to find Vic at the kitchen table alone, eating a bowl of cereal.

Vic could see Justin’s disappointment all over his face. “Good morning to you, too, Princess.”

“Sorry,” Justin said with a forced smile. “I was hoping Brian would be down here.”

“Nope. I heard him creeping down the stairs when I got up to use the bathroom early this morning. He didn’t see me, though.”

Justin opened the door to the cupboard that Debbie had indicated to him the previous day was where they kept their dry goods and frowned at the selection of breakfast foods. Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, and Corn Pops. Cherry Pop-Tarts, chocolate chip granola bars, and Entenmann’s chocolate frosted donuts. He then looked in the freezer, which contained boxes of Toaster Strudels, Eggo Waffles, and biscuit sandwiches.

“I can’t eat any of this stuff,” he said with a sigh.

“What do you usually eat for breakfast?” Vic asked.

“Plain Cheerios, Shredded Wheat, oatmeal, wheat toast with some sugar-free preserves...”

Vic faked a gag. “I don’t envy you diabetics. You can’t have any fun with food.”

Justin found a loaf of white bread and put two pieces in the toaster. “I need to go to the grocery store, but I don’t have any way to get there. I still can’t drive for a few more weeks, and I couldn’t buy much if I took a bus or a cab, since I’m not supposed to carry anything over five pounds.”

“Call your mom,” Vic suggested. “I’m sure she’d be glad to either take you to the store or bring some food over for you.”

Justin groaned as he poured himself a glass of milk. “I don’t want to ask her for anything right now. She’s already supposed to take me to the doctor tomorrow.”

Vic smiled. “I know of someone who’s probably just sitting around in his loft right now, counting the days until the doctor clears him for ‘strenuous physical activities.’”

********************

Justin was riding in the passenger seat of the Jeep a half-hour later.

“So, why did you sneak out last night?” Justin asked.

Brian shrugged. “That bed isn’t big enough for the both of us, and you were hotter than a fucking furnace… and drooling all over me.”

“I’ve always been a hot sleeper,” Justin said. “And I don’t drool.”

“Yes, you do,” Brian said with a smile as he watched the road in front of him.

Brian soon turned into the parking lot of one of Pittsburgh’s many Shop n’ Save stores. They went inside, where Justin got a cart and made his way to the produce section. Brian trailed behind him with a basket in his hand and grabbed some apples and grapes.

They later turned into the cereal aisle, where they found Lindsay with baby Gus in tow.

“Brian!” Lindsay exclaimed. “What a surprise, seeing you at a grocery store.”

“A man’s gotta eat sometime,” Brian replied.

Lindsay looked at Justin and smiled. “And who is this?”

“This is Justin,” Brian answered as he sat his basket on the floor to pick Gus up from his seat in the cart. “Hey, Sonny Boy.”

Lindsay let out a tiny gasp. “ _The_ Justin? The one you…?”

“Yes, the one I…” Brian echoed. “Justin, this is Lindsay, and this handsome little man is our son, Gus.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Gus,” Justin said to the baby boy in Brian’s arms, a spitting image of his father. “And it’s nice to meet you too, Lindsay.”

“You too, Justin,” Lindsay said to Justin as she grasped his right hand in greeting. “I was hoping to pay you a visit in the hospital the day I came to see Brian, but a nurse told me you were somewhere having a test run. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good,” Justin said with a smile. “I still feel some abdominal pain and weakness now and then, but it’s getting to be less each day.”

“Well, it’s great that you’re both out and about,” Lindsay said. “Walking is important, when you’re recovering from surgery.”

“Thank you, Dr. Peterson,” Brian grumbled.

“You’re a doctor?” Justin asked Lindsay.

Lindsay snorted. “No, I’m an art teacher. Brian is just demonstrating his dry sense of humor.”

Brian gave Lindsay the finger behind Gus’s back.

“Really, you’re an art teacher?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, but of course we’re on summer break now.”

“Where do you teach?”

“At the Institute of Fine Arts,” Lindsay answered.

Justin’s mouth dropped open before he gave Brian a light smack on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew someone that worked there?”

Brian sat Gus back in the cart. “I didn’t know I was supposed to.” He then looked at Gus and said, “You’re getting heavy, Son.”

“It’s been my dream to go to PIFA for as long as I can remember,” Justin said to Lindsay. “I was hoping to apply for next year’s spring semester.”

“If you’re serious about it, you need to apply soon,” Lindsay advised. “Most of the spots will be filled up with returning students, but they do accept first-time applicants if their work is good enough.”

“Only I can’t afford it now,” Justin said sadly. “My dad threw me out of the house last week when he found out I was gay.”

Lindsay gave Justin a sympathetic look. “Oh, no. Where are you living now?”

“With Debbie and Vic. I work at the diner with Deb. That’s why I called and asked Brian to take me to the store, because they don’t have any diabetic-friendly food I could eat.”

“I imagine,” Lindsay said with a chuckle. “When my partner Mel and I go to Deb’s for dinner, I usually only eat a salad for lunch that day and the next.”

“Well, I’d love to stand around the cereal aisle all day and chat, but we should get going,” Brian said as he picked his basket up off the floor.

Lindsay ignored him as she said to Justin, “If paying for school is a problem, you may be able to get some grants and scholarships. I’m friends with a lady in financial aid, and I could give her a call for you when I get home.”

“Really?” Justin asked as a full-watt smile spread across his face.

“Sure,” Lindsay said. “And I’d love to see some of your work. What type of stuff do you do?”

“Mostly sketching, but I also love to paint,” Justin said. “I only have one sketchpad at Deb’s house, but I have several more at my dad’s house, along with some paintings. Hopefully, he hasn’t fucked with any of them.”

“Well, you should see about getting those before he does anything to them,” Lindsay said.

“Gee wiz, look at the time,” Brian said as he looked down at his naked left wrist. “Shouldn’t you be checking your blood sugar or something soon, Sunshine?”

Lindsay smiled as she looked between the two men. “ _Sunshine_?”

Brian began pushing Justin toward the front of the store. “I’ll give him your number, Linds, and he’ll call you later.”

“Why don’t the two of you come over for dinner tonight?” Lindsay called out. “I’m making roast chicken with a mushroom risotto and steamed vegetables.”

Brian clicked his tongue. “As much as I would enjoy seeing Mel-”

“We’d love to!” Justin said in a cheery tone. “That sounds delicious.”

“You little shit,” Brian whispered.

“Great!” Lindsay said. “And bring that sketch pad with you at, say, six-thirty?”

“We’ll be there,” Justin said.

Brian turned around and gave Lindsay a fake smile. “Yes…  _we_ can’t wait.”


	16. Out Tonight

“So, what’s the deal with you and Lindsay’s girlfriend?” Justin asked Brian on the way to  _Chez Munchers_  for dinner.

Brian sighed. “Me and Mel have never gotten along. See, me and Linds, we uh… had a bit of a thing in college-”

“A thing?” Justin asked.

“Yeah… we spent some very weird, confusing nights together during our junior year.”

Justin laughed. “What? You mean that you, the super stud that has fucked who knows how many guys, actually managed to get it up for a woman?”

“Somehow, yes,” Brian said. “We shared an art history class in our freshman year, and we became friends. We both came out to each other very early on, but one night when we were smoking pot in her room, we let our curiosities run wild. It was the first time for both of us, being with someone of the opposite sex. It actually wasn’t half bad. We hooked up a couple more times after that, but the last night we were together, she confessed that she had been in love with me since we first met, and that I was the only guy she could ever imagine being with. I told her I didn’t love her like that and we couldn’t ever do it again, but that we could stay friends.

“Anyway, she met Melanie a couple years after graduation through their mutual dyke friends. I don’t know what Linds had told her about our past, but Mel hated me from the moment we met. We cuss at each other almost every time we’re in the same room together. She’s always found me to be a threat to their relationship, even though she must know that Linds and I would never be more than friends again. She is more than aware of my reputation with the fellas.”

“But she was okay with you being the father of her and Lindsay’s baby?” Justin asked.

“No, she wasn’t, actually,” Brian said, chuckling. “But as soon as they decided that they wanted a baby, Linds insisted that I provide the necessary ingredient to make it happen, and she somehow convinced Mel to let me be the father. I guess that Linds hoped it would make Mel and I get along better. I know that Mel loves Gus like he’s her own, but her opinion of me hasn’t improved, despite the fact that he’s half of me. She actually came to visit me once in the hospital for about ten minutes, but she prefaced it with saying that Linds made her do it.”

They soon pulled up in front of the house and walked up to the front door. Brian rang the bell and Melanie answered the door a few moments later.

“Brian,” Melanie said flatly in greeting.

“Melanie,” Brian answered in the same tone.

Melanie then looked over to Justin and smiled. “You must be Justin. Please, come on in.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Melanie,” he said as he handed her a bottle of Pinot Noir.

“Oh, my favorite, thank you,” Melanie said before shutting the door behind them.

“Brian picked it out,” Justin said.

Melanie made eye contact with Brian for a moment. “Well, it will go great with the chicken.”

Brian looked around the living room. “Where’s my son?”

“ _Our_ son is in his high chair in the kitchen,” Melanie said. “I was just finishing giving him his dinner.”

The three of them went into the kitchen, where Lindsay was taking a pan of roasted chicken pieces out of the oven. “Hey, guys. You’re just in time.”

Brian uncorked the wine while Justin went to the restroom to take his insulin and evening pills. Gus finished his last few bites of his meal, which consisted of pre-cooked chicken cubes that Melanie let him feed to himself with his chubby little fingers, along with apple sauce and cooked carrots that she spoon-fed him. Melanie then used a wet rag to wipe the baby’s face and hands while Lindsay and Brian brought the food to the table.

Melanie put Gus in his playpen that had been brought into the dining room, and they each filled their plates.

Brian poured a glass of wine for each of them, including a small portion for Justin.

“Uh… I better not,” Justin said about the wine.

“You now have a healthy kidney that filtered out years of my alcohol intake. A few sips won’t hurt you,” Brian answered.

Justin snickered. “Alright, but just a little bit.”

“So, Justin, Lindsay told me that you are an aspiring artist,” Melanie said.

“Yeah, I’ve enjoyed drawing and painting for a long time. I would always bring a sketchbook with me to my dialysis appointments over the last two years, and I accumulated quite a collection.”

“Did you remember to bring your sketchbook for me to look at?” Lindsay asked.

Justin nodded after taking a sip of the wine, which he found to be rather tasty. “Yep, it’s in my messenger bag next to the front door. I carry it everywhere with me. Also, I called my mom earlier and asked her to go in my old room and make sure my dad hadn’t done anything with my other drawings and paintings. She said they are all still where I left them, and she’s going to bring some of them with her when she comes to pick me up for my doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Well, I’ll look at your sketchbook tonight, and then I can go to Deb’s in the next few days to look at your other stuff,” Lindsay said.

“I’d really appreciate that, thank you,” Justin said.

The four of them chatted about the beautiful weather they had been having lately in between bites.

“So, Brian,” Melanie suddenly said from across the table. “It must be driving you crazy, being physically restricted after your surgery. I’m sure the boys at Babylon are chomping at the bit.”

Brian shrugged. “I went to the doctor yesterday morning for a check-up and to get my stitches removed. He said I can do ‘light activities’ now, but not to push myself for a few more weeks.”

Justin thought back to the  _light activities_  they engaged in the previous evening, feeling himself grow hard while remembering Brian’s hands and mouth on him in the alley while they played “Who Comes First?”

“What?” Lindsay asked Justin, seeing the sudden smile on his face.

Justin rolled in his lips for a moment. “Nothing.”

Almost on cue, Brian reached under the table with his left hand and rubbed Justin’s thigh. The hand soon made its way to his crotch, making Justin squirm in his seat.

Lindsay looked at Justin in concern, oblivious to what was going on under her dining room table. “Are you okay?”

Justin grabbed Brian’s wandering hand and pulled it away. “Yeah… this risotto’s awesome, by the way. My mom’s risotto always tastes like dirt.”

Lindsay smiled. “I got the recipe from my parents’ housekeeper. She’s an amazing cook.”

Justin took the last sip of his wine before feeling Brian’s hand return, immediately finding the stiff lump in his pants. Although he never thought he would do such a thing while in Brian’s presence, Justin willed his erection to go away. He again pulled Brian’s hand off of him as he tried to act aloof, so as not to attract attention from his hosts.

“So, uh, Mel, what do you do for a living?” Justin asked.

“I’m a lawyer,” Melanie answered.

Brian’s hand again found Justin’s dick under the table. Knowing he wasn’t going to give up, Justin tried to pretend like what Brian was doing wasn’t affecting him. “Oh, really? What type of law do you specialize in?” he asked, stifling a groan.  _Damn, that feels good…_

“I take on a variety of cases: family disputes, personal injury, civil rights, criminal defense.”

“She just made partner last year,” Lindsay said proudly before leaning over and giving Melanie a kiss on the cheek.

“Hmm,” Justin said as Brian continued to rub him through his pants. “And… and what school did you go to?”

“I got my B.A. in political science from Carnegie Melon, then my J.D. in law from Columbia.”

Justin tightened his abdominal muscles to fight his building orgasm, causing a twinge of pain at his incision. He sucked in breath before saying, “Oh, Columbia… that’s in New York City, right?”

“Yep,” Melanie said. “I thought I was going to stay there in Manhattan after graduation, but I met Linds when I came back here during spring break of my final year at Columbia. We maintained a phone relationship, and I just knew I had to come back home to be with her after getting my law degree.”

Justin tightly gripped his fork. “I’ve always wanted to go to Manhattan. I’d like to see one of the musicals currently playing.”

“If you ever get the chance, I recommend seeing  _Rent_. It’s amazing,” Melanie said.

“Br… Brian, uh,” Justin paused to look over at the man, who gave him a shit-eating grin. “Brian said that you two…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Justin came in his pants, resulting in him letting out a strangled moan. He covered it with a cough. “Pardon me. Brian told me that you and Lindsay met through mutual friends?”

Brian placed his frisky hand on the table before Lindsay said, “Yes, we were set up on a blind date. It was love at first sight.”

Justin smiled and nodded as he reached down and pulled his pants and underwear away from the wet spot between his legs. “That’s great. Uh… I need to use the restroom.” He then got up from the table and ran up the stairs as quickly as he could.

“Is he okay?” Lindsay asked Brian.

“Yeah… I’m sure he’s fine,” Brian said before taking a sip of wine. “Maybe his medicine upset his stomach or something.”

Lindsay pushed back from the table and picked up her empty plate. “Why don’t you go upstairs and check on him while Mel and I clean up?”

Brian made his way upstairs and knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Justin?”

“What?” he heard the young man growl.

Brian chuckled before trying the doorknob, which was locked. “Come on, Sunshine, let me in.”

He heard the lock tumble a few moments later, and he opened the door to find Justin with his pants and underwear around his knees.

“You son of a bitch,” Justin said as he wiped up the mess the other man created with a wet washcloth.

Brian chuckled again. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” Justin snarled. “Christ, that was embarrassing. I had a fucking orgasm in front of two lesbians!”

Brian walked over to stand behind him, and he bent over Justin’s back to kiss his neck. “It made a boring dinner rather enjoyable though, didn’t it?”

Justin huffed out a breath. “Was this punishment for accepting Lindsay's dinner invitation?”

"If I were punishing you, your butt cheeks would be bright red," Brian answered.

********************

Justin stood in the doorway of Gus’s room an hour later while he watched Brian, who had his son in his lap while sitting in a rocking chair, read Gus a story.

“Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping,” Brian read in a gentle voice. “He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang: I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be*.”

Brian closed the book and sat it on the small table next to the rocker. Justin wiped the tears from his eyes as Brian carried Gus over and deposited his baby in his crib.

“Goodnight, Sonny Boy,” Brian whispered. “Dada loves you.”

Justin walked out into the hallway, and Brian closed the door behind them. He looked at Justin in concern after seeing the blonde’s wet eyes. “What?”

“That was really beautiful… Dada,” Justin said.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

The two men returned to the living room, where Lindsay and Melanie were on the couch as they both looked through Justin’s sketchbook.

“These are wonderful, Justin,” Lindsay said.

Melanie pulled the book out of Lindsay’s hands. “Although, there seems to be a recurring theme…”

She then turned the book to show it to Brian. The page showed a sketch of him wearing a suit while sitting in a booth at a diner, a cup of coffee in his hand.

Brian smiled in approval, as he had never seen Justin’s work before. “That’s really good - perfect likeness.”

“Thanks,” Justin said as he looked down at his feet.

Melanie turned the page and rolled her eyes. “And then there’s this little gem.”

That sketch showed Brian lying naked on the Le Corbusier chaise lounge in his loft, his hardened dick on display.

Brian snorted. “Little? You call  _that_  little? I know you probably haven’t seen very many of them, but…”

Melanie looked at Justin, then Lindsay, noticing a blush on the faces of both blondes. “Gross.”

Brian took the sketchbook from Melanie and sat down in the armchair, starting from the first page. As Melanie had said, nearly each drawing in the book was of him in various poses and states of dress and undress.

“You're certainly good enough to be accepted into PIFA,” Lindsay said to Justin.

“Really?” Justin said. “You’re not just saying that to be nice?”

“No, I mean it,” Lindsay said. “Some of my second-year students don’t have the portrait skills that you do.”

“Well, I started drawing cartoons when I was younger,” Justin said. “ _The Yellow Submarine_  is my favorite movie, and it made me want to become an animator. Then I started doing landscapes. I did my first portrait, which was of my mother, for an art assignment in junior high. I got an ‘A’ on it. I had some great art teachers in school… of course, that was before I had to drop out because of my health problems.”

“You can’t teach talent, though,” Lindsay said. “Either you have it or you don’t, and you certainly have it. By the way, I spoke with my friend in financial aid earlier, and she suggested that you put in an application as soon as possible. Although we’re on summer break, the admissions office is still open. Did you ever complete high school?”

“I have my GED. Is that enough?” Justin said.

“Yes. From what I’ve heard, PIFA accepts students with GEDs,” Lindsay answered. “Once your mom brings over more of your drawings to Deb’s, I can help you get a portfolio together, and I’ll bring you a copy of the school application.”

“That would be amazing, thank you,” Justin said, his smile practically lighting up the room.

Lindsay stood up to give Justin a hug. “You’re welcome, Sweetie.”

“Well, we ought to get going,” Brian said as he stood up and handed the sketchbook back to Justin. “Dinner was great, Linds.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Lindsay said as she enveloped Brian in a hug. “You’re welcome anytime, you know… both of you.”

Melanie gave Justin a hug and a kiss on the cheek before opening the front door fom them. “It was really great meeting you, Justin.”

“You, too, Mel,” Justin said.

Melanie and Brian nodded goodbye to each other before the two men walked out to the Jeep.

“That went very well,” Justin said once they were inside the vehicle. “Melanie seems a lot nicer than you described.”

Brian scoffed as he put the key in the ignition. “She was playing nice for you, trust me. And Linds is right: you are a great artist… and I’m not just saying that because I seem to be your favorite subject, as of late.”

Justin giggled. “Thanks. I had a lot of free time while I was in the hospital to draw, and you were all I could think about.”

Justin felt a moment of confusion when Brian turned at the end of the block in the opposite direction to take them back to Debbie’s house. “Where are we going?” Justin asked.

Brian didn’t answer. It soon became obvious that they were heading straight towards the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *“Love You Forever,” by Robert Munsch http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/loveforever.htm I suggest reading the whole thing, if you haven’t before. It’s such a sweet little story!


	17. The Music of the Night

Justin was on his back on Brian’s bed less than ten minutes later, his polo shirt thrown somewhere on the floor. Brian was standing in front of him, a predatory look on his face as he removed Justin’s shoes and socks.

“Is this where my ass gets red?” Justin asked, referring to Brian’s earlier comment in Melanie and Lindsay’s bathroom.

Brian smirked before unbuttoning Justin’s pants. He hadn’t said a word since shortly after leaving the girls’ house, and it was starting to freak Justin out a bit.

“What happened to your ‘no repeats’ policy?” Justin asked as Brian pulled his pants and briefs off.

Brian raised an eyebrow as he stilled his hands. “We don't have to, you know.”

“No,” Justin said. “I want to. Just don’t expect me to be some kind of athlete or contortionist…”

“I'm not at the top of my game, either, but I’ll do all the work,” Brian assured.

As Brian pulled his own clothes off, he took a few moments to really look at Justin’s naked body. The blonde’s left forearm still showed evidence of his previous dialysis treatments and fistula, but the bruises had all faded to a yellowish-brown color. The light pink scar under his collarbone from the catheter that was used for the dialysis before his fistula healed now had a healing needle mark next to it where an IV line had been placed after his surgery to deliver his pain medication. A second healing needle mark was at his right wrist from another IV line. There were a few little pink dots on his belly from his insulin injections. A large gauze pad was placed on the lower right side of his belly over the surgical staples closing his transplant incision. He was very pale, causing his scars and needle marks to stand out more.

Justin noticed how Brian was openly staring at him. “I know - I look like Frankenstein’s monster,” he said in disgust.

Brian looked into Justin’s eyes and shook his head. “You’re beautiful,” he sincerely replied. “All of your scars tell the story of just how fucking strong you are.”

Justin looked at Brian’s small healing incisions on his abdomen. “Yours tell how about generous you are.”

Brian climbed on top of Justin, being careful to keep his weight off of him as he kissed him. He spent the next few minutes covering Justin in kisses and licks all along his neck, chest, arms, and abdomen while Justin moaned and writhed under him. Once he got to Justin’s hips, he noticed a puddle of pre-cum below his belly button, which he lapped up.

“You taste so fucking good,” Brian said in a breathy tone before running his tongue over Justin’s slit.

“Brian,” Justin whispered as he planted his feet on the mattress and spread his legs further apart.

Brian responded by taking Justin’s cock into his mouth an inch at a time, slowly bobbing his head up and down. He would then alternate between taking the whole length into his throat and running the tip of his tongue along the sensitive underside of Justin’s shaft as he listened to Justin moan and whimper his name. Brian usually didn’t like very vocal partners, but he loved every beautiful noise Justin was making, as if he were playing him like a musical instrument.

Just as Justin began to quiver in anticipation of his orgasm, Brian dipped his head to run his tongue along Justin’s crack. He gripped the backs of Justin’s thighs as he ate Justin’s ass.

Justin ran his fingers through Brian’s hair as he babbled in pleasure between breaths. “God… Brian… fuck… oh… shit…”

Brian then went back to sucking Justin’s rock-hard dick as he slipped his index finger into Justin’s wet hole.

“Brian!” Justin screamed out as he came deep down Brian’s throat a few moments later, clenching tightly around Brian’s finger.

Brian crawled up to lay next to Justin as the blonde recovered. “Shit… you’re going to have to teach me how to do that,” Justin said as he regained his breath.

Brian chuckled. “I intend to, once you’re more healed up.”

Justin smiled wide. “Really?”

“Fuck yeah,” Brian answered. “From the moment I first saw you, I had no doubt that you would have a talented mouth. As good of a kisser as you are, I’d bet that you’d be great at sucking cock.”

“Well, I’ll try to live up to your expectations,” Justin said. “I just wish I could do something for you tonight in return, but I don’t want to hurt myself.”

Brian smiled. “Roll over.”

Justin did as he was told, and Brian grabbed his tube of KY and a condom from the nightstand. He rolled the condom onto his aching dick and squeezed a dollop of lube on his fingers.

He lubed Justin’s hole as he stretched him gently. He then draped his body over Justin’s as he slowly pushed his cock inside of him.

“Are you okay?” Brian whispered in his ear. “I’ll stop, if…”

“Keep going,” Justin replied in a strained voice. “I want you inside me.”

Brian slowly fucked Justin as the boy laid flat on the mattress, and he was relieved to feel the boy soon relax under him. He put his right hand on top of Justin’s and laced their fingers together, something he never did with any other trick.

But Justin wasn’t any other trick - Brian knew that from the first time he blew Justin the evening that the transplant had been confirmed and scheduled. Although Brian had told Justin that he never did repeats, that wasn’t entirely true. He had fucked several guys more than once in his younger years, but since cementing his reputation as the go-to fuck on Liberty Avenue, he rarely ever gave encore performances, because he didn’t have to. Brian used to say that if he had to fuck a guy more than once ever again, that was a sign he was losing his touch and it would only go downhill from there.

Sure, Brian just turned thirty, but he knew he still had a few years left before any up-and-comers dethroned him. He wasn’t fucking Justin again because he  _had_  to; he was fucking Justin again because he truly  _wanted_  to.

And he had to admit that the revelation scared the shit out of him, but not nearly enough to make him want to stop fucking the magnificent young man.

Brian grabbed onto Justin’s hips and gently pulled the blonde up to his knees. He thrust deep into Justin’s ass as he felt the boy spasm around him as he spilled his cum onto the duvet. Although he didn’t want it to end, Brian followed him soon after, filling the condom with a loud groan.

The two men fell onto their sides after Brian pulled out of him. Brian tied the condom and threw it near the bathroom door, then wrapped his arms around Justin as he spooned him.

“That was fucking great,” Justin said.

“A-fucking-mazing!” Brian kissed him on his neck before adding in a whisper, “Maybe someday, I’ll teach you how to do that, too.”

********************

Brian’s home phone rang at 7:30 the next morning. “Who the fuck would call so early?” he croaked as he turned to pick up the cordless from the night stand. He loudly cleared his throat before asking, “Yeah?”

“Brian?” Debbie’s voice called out. “Please tell me that Justin is there with you.”

Brian turned to look at the blonde boy laying next to him in his bed, who was still asleep despite the phone ringing. “Yeah, he sleeps like the dead.”

“Well, Jennifer’s here to pick him up for his doctor’s appointment at eight,” Debbie informed him. “Me and Vic didn’t even realize that he hadn’t come home last night.”

Brian began patting Justin on his shoulder. “Sunshine, wake up!”

“Hey, that’s  _my_ nickname for him,” Debbie cracked just as Justin’s eyes opened slowly.

“Hmm?” Justin asked.

“We’ll be right there,” Brian said into the phone before hanging up. “Your mom is at Deb’s house.”

“Shit!” Justin yelled as he threw the covers off of him. “I forgot all about my appointment!”

“Why don’t I just take you?” Brian asked. “We can go straight to the hospital.”

Justin ran into the bathroom to take a piss, something he was still getting used to doing on a regular basis. “No. I have to go to Deb’s to take my pills, and I have to find something that I can eat in the car on the way. Shit, I didn’t even take my blood sugar last night!”

Brian walked into the bathroom to take care of nature after Justin was done. “I’m sorry that I distracted you from taking care of yourself.”

Justin kissed Brian on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. It was very worth it.”

********************

Justin and Brian burst through Debbie’s front door about five minutes later. “I need to shower real quick!” Justin yelled as he took the stairs two at time.

Brian bypassed Vic, Debbie, and Jennifer, who were sitting at the kitchen table, and started rooting around in the refrigerator.

“What are you doing?” Debbie asked as she stood up.

“Justin asked me to make him a bagel with cream cheese and some orange juice.”

“Move,” Debbie said as she pushed Brian out of the way. “I’ll get it.”

He sat down at the kitchen table, which was covered in sketchbooks and canvases. Vic was looking through one of the books, his glasses perched on the end of his nose.

“I would have thought you’d be at work, Deb,” Brian said.

“I’m working the dinner shift tonight,” she answered.

Brian picked up an 18” by 24” canvas. It was covered in several colors of paint in various shapes, but there was still some white area.

“He was working on that one before the transplant,” Jennifer explained. “That’s why it’s not finished.”

“Did you bring any paint or brushes for him?” Brian asked.

“No, he only asked for his sketchbooks and paintings. I probably should have brought him some more pencils, though.”

“It would be nice to set up a small area in his room for him to paint,” Debbie commented as she smeared some reduced fat strawberry cream cheese on a whole grain bagel that Justin bought the day before.

“We let him use the spare bedroom at our house for a studio,” Jennifer said. “Now Craig wants to turn it into an office, although neither of us ever work from home.”

Justin walked into the kitchen a couple of minutes later, his wet hair sticking up in all directions. He tossed his four pills into his mouth and gulped down the glass of orange juice. “Let’s go,” he said to Jennifer, slightly out of breath.

Jennifer took the bagel from Debbie after getting up from the table. “We have five minutes to get there, but it will take us more than fifteen in the morning traffic,” Jennifer said.

“Relax, they’ll wait for me,” Justin said before bending down to give Brian a tongue-filled kiss goodbye.

The three older adults gaped at the passionate display of affection in front of them.

“Jesus Christ,” Debbie said. “They’re gonna have a quickie right here.”

“Hold on, I’ll get the camera,” Vic said as he pretended to get up.

Justin finally released Brian a few moments later. “I’ll see you later?” he asked.

“Later,” Brian confirmed before Justin and a startled Jennifer left.

Debbie slapped Brian on the back of his head after the front door was closed.

“What the fuck?” Brian yelled.

“That’s exactly what I was about to ask you,” Debbie said. “What the fuck are you doing to that boy?”

“And give us details,” Vic added.

“He’s not a  _boy_ , Deb,” Brian said. “He’s young, yes, but he’s a man.”

“And he has you to thank for that, right?” Debbie remarked.

Brian ignored that comment as he got up to leave. “Which means that neither he nor I have to explain ourselves to you or anyone else.”

“You take the fun out of everything!” Vic yelled as Brian made his exit.


	18. The Moments of Happiness

Jennifer tightly gripped the steering wheel as she drove herself and Justin towards Allegheny General Hospital shortly after leaving Debbie’s house. Her face was pinched tight, and it was obvious to Justin that she was trying to hold back from speaking.

“What, Mother?” Justin said after finishing his bagel.

Jennifer let out a long sigh. “It’s just…” She rolled in her lips and shook her head.

“Just go ahead and say it,” Justin ordered. “It bothered you to see me kissing Brian.”

“You weren’t just  _kissing_  Brian. You were… I mean, there was  _tongue_.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Okay, I was  _French_ kissing Brian, and it bothered you.”

“Well, of course it bothered me!”

“Why?” Justin asked. “Because Brian’s a man? Because it’s gross or… amoral for two men to kiss?”

Jennifer thought about her answer for a moment while she changed lanes in the busy morning traffic. “I don’t recall ever seeing you kiss  _anyone_  before, so yes, it… jarred me.”

Justin scoffed. “Well, I’ve only kissed a few girls before, just to see what it was like to kiss  _someone_ , but would it have jarred you as much if I had been Frenching a woman in front of you? Or was it only because it was a man whose mouth I was tongue-fucking?”

Jennifer blinked several times as she stared straight ahead at the road. “Honey, I'm trying to be understanding here, I really am. I’m not naïve; I know that you and Brian kiss… among other things. But keep in mind that I only found out about this a few days ago-”

“ _This_ being that your son is a fag?”

Jennifer grimaced. “I wish you wouldn’t use derogatory terms like that. It’s bad enough that I’ve had to hear it from your father’s mouth since he found you and Brian kissing in your hospital room.”

“Where do you think I learned it, huh? All my life, I’ve had to listen to Dad mutter ‘fucking faggot’ under his breath when we’ve seen effeminate men in public, or ‘dyke’ if it’s a butch woman.”

“Well, we should try to be a little more tactful than him, then,” Jennifer said.

Justin turned to look at Jennifer while they were stopped at a red light. “Mom?”

Jennifer turned to look at her son for the first time since getting in the car. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry I offended you or made you feel uncomfortable when I kissed Brian earlier, okay? But Brian and I are together now… I’m not sure  _how_ together, but as long as he wants me to kiss him, I will, even if it’s in front of you or other people. Not that I have much to compare it to, but he’s a damned good kisser.”

Jennifer smiled a bit. “I just need a little time to get used to this - seeing you with a man. I’ve never been exposed to this type of thing before.”

Justin snorted. “What, you never went to a gay bar before, not even in college?”

“No, of course not.”

“Never? Not even with some friends just to see what it was like, out of curiosity or for fun?”

Jennifer sighed. “Honey, I come from a conservative family. Although I’ve never been particularly religious, I went to Grove City College, a Christian school where all my friends were from conservative families. It’s not like I didn’t know that gay people existed, but I’ve never really been around any. I’ve always known that your father was homophobic, but it didn’t really bother me, since it was never an issue… until now, that is.”

“How ironic that someone like him would end up with a gay son,” Justin said with a bit of derision in his voice. “The universe obviously has a sense of humor.”

Their conversation was cut short when they arrived at the hospital.  

********************

“You are so sweet to do this for him, Brian,” Lindsay said.

Brian forced himself not to smile. “Don’t read too much into it, okay?”

“How can I not? You spent hundreds of dollars so Justin could have a painting space in his room.”

“Well, you know me: if I’m going to buy anything, I’m going to buy the best,” Brian said.

“You bought what I told you to buy,” Lindsay cracked.

“Only because you were shopping with my credit card, but if anyone would know what a young artist would need, it would be you,” he replied before kissing her on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me today.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetie. I just wish I could stay to see the look on his face when he sees all this, but I need to get Gus home for his nap.”

Brian walked downstairs with Lindsay into the living room where Debbie and Vic were sitting. Gus was lying in Debbie’s arms, fighting to stay awake while  _Rugrats_  played on the TV.

“The kid’s all tuckered out,” Debbie said as she handed the baby to his mother.

“We were at a ‘Mommy and Me’ class when Brian called,” Lindsay said. “He was drifting off in his stroller at the art supplies store.”

Lindsay was carrying Gus to the door when it opened, Justin letting himself in.

“Hey!” Justin said in surprise. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We were in the neighborhood, so I brought Gus by to visit his Grandma Deb and Grandpa Vic,” Lindsay said. “I looked at the paintings your mom brought. They’re amazing.”

Justin beamed. “Thanks. Luckily, she brought the good ones, and not the shitty ones I did when I was younger that I have hidden under my bed.”

Brian snorted. “I hid porno mags and pot under my bed when I was a teenager.”

Brian, Justin, and Debbie walked Lindsay out to her car, but not before Debbie made her promise to bring Gus and Melanie over that Sunday for dinner. Lindsay also told Justin that she would stop by PIFA the next day to get him an application, and that she would bring it over on Sunday and help him fill it out.

“So, Sunshine, how’d things go at the doctor’s?” Debbie asked once they got back inside.

“Great. They took the staples out,” Justin said, lifting his t-shirt to show off his pink incision scar, staple free.

“Did it hurt?” Debbie asked.

“It pinched a little, but it wasn’t too bad. It just itches now. They won’t have the results of my blood and urine tests for a few days, but otherwise everything seems to be in good working order.”

“That’s wonderful, Honey,” Debbie said as she gathered him up in a hug.

After releasing him, she looked at her brother. “You know, Vic, it’s a beautiful day out. Do you feel up for going for a walk?”

Vic pointed to the TV. “Jerry Springer’s coming on in two minutes.”

Debbie opened her eyes wide and put her hands on her hips.

“But, on the other hand, how many times can you watch some hillbilly tell his wife that he’s been cheating on her with a transvestite?” Vic said as he turned off the TV and stood up.

“Yeah, it gets kind of old after the first thirty or forty times,” Brian said.

Once Vic and Debbie were out the door, Brian turned to Justin. “Let’s go up to your room.”

“Ooh, a little afternoon delight?” Justin said before he gave Brian a kiss on the lips.

Brian chuckled and led Justin up the stairs. They walked into Justin’s bedroom, and Justin’s jaw dropped.

In the corner of his room by the window sat an easel with his partly-finished painting sitting on it. A wooden stool was placed in front of it. Below the window stood a cart with three shelves, which had a can holding the nicest-quality paint brushes Justin had ever seen sitting on top. The other shelves contained several tubes of paint, pallets, a can of varnish, a box of coal pencils, new sketchpads, and many other art supplies Justin would need.

“You bought all of this for me?” Justin asked Brian.

“With Lindsay’s help,” he answered, and he suddenly had his arms full of happy blonde boy.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” the blonde said. “God, I love you so much.”

Before Brian could say anything, Justin was devouring his mouth in kisses. Justin pulled Brian’s black wife beater off and rained kisses on his chest.

Justin walked Brian over to the bed and sat down. He unbuttoned Brian’s jeans and smiled up at him as he pulled the man’s pants down to the middle of his thighs.

He then wrapped his right hand around the base of Brian’s shaft, took the head of Brian’s cock into his mouth, and sucked on it, causing Brian to take in a sharp breath. He placed his other hand on Brian’s tight right butt cheek while he took more of Brian’s cock into his mouth with each bob of his head.

Brian though about giving the blonde some verbal instructions, since it was his first time giving head, but decided he was doing just fine on his own. He felt his eyes roll back into his head as Justin applied just the right amount of suction, the boy’s mouth perfectly warm and wet.

Suddenly, Justin stopped and looked up. “Does that feel good?”

“Amazing,” Brian answered is a husky tone. “Keep going.”

Justin got back to it and gagged when he tried to take too much in.

“Here,” Brian said as he placed Justin’s hand a bit further up his shaft. “Your hand will stop you from going too deep.”

“But it feels so great when you deep throat me,” Justin said. “I want to do that for you.”

“It takes a lot of practice to do it without gagging, especially with a dick as long as mine. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll show you how to build up to that another day.”

Justin smiled before returning to his task. After a couple of minutes of the boy sucking and licking him like his dick was a delicious treat, Brian felt his orgasm building and decided to cut the kid a break.

“Okay… okay,” he panted, as he tried to pull away before shooting into the kid’s mouth.

Justin wasn’t having any of it and only tightened his grip on Brian’s dick and right butt cheek. Brian came a few seconds later and was surprised when Justin not only swallowed it, but licked up the last few drops dripping out of Brian’s slit.

“What the fuck is this?” a man’s voice suddenly asked from outside the open doorway.

Both men turned their heads and found Michael staring at them in shock.


	19. What a Piece of Work is Man

“Mikey,” Brian said as he began pulling up his pants. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, so  _you’re_  Michael?” Justin said to the man, who he recognized from the picture on the corkboard.

“What am  _I_ doing here?!” Michael shrieked as he threw his duffle bag on the bedroom floor. “This is my mother’s house! What are  _you_ doing here, getting your dick sucked in my room by some twink?”

“Actually, this is  _my_ room,” Justin informed him as he stood. “I live here now.”

Michael looked between Justin and Brian, his mouth open. “Who… wha… Ma!”

“She’s not here,” Brian said while putting his wife beater back on.

Michael ignored Brian as he turned and walked out into the hallway. “Ma!”

“She and Vic went for a walk,” Justin said.

“Who the fuckis  _this_ , anyway?” Michael asked Brian, looking at Justin up and down in disgust.

“This is Justin,” Brian answered.

“Who the fuck is Justin, and what the fuck is he doing sucking your dick in my room… in the middle of the day with the door wide open, no less?”

“ _My_ room,” Justin said again.

“Shut up, asshole, I’m not talking to you!” Michael yelled at Justin.

“Hey,” Brian said, putting a hand on Michael’s shoulder to steer him away from Justin. “Take it easy.”

“ _Take it easy_?!” Michael yelled, his face turning a red. “I get up before the crack of dawn and fly clear across the country, only to come home and find you getting your dick sucked by some-”

“Michael?” Debbie’s called out from downstairs. “Is that you up there?”

“Ma!” Michael yelled as he thundered down the stairs, Justin and Brian following.

“Sweetheart, you’re home!” Debbie squealed while she held her arms out as she and Vic stood in the foyer after returning home from their walk. “Is David here, too?”

Michael turned and pointed at Justin. “Ma, who the fuck is that kid?”

Debbie smiled. “Oh, that’s Justin. Justin, this is-”

“Will someone please tell me who the fuck Justin is?!” Michael all but screamed. “And why he just had Brian’s cock in his mouth, lapping up his cum like a dog?”

“Whoa, maybe I should have stayed home,” Vic said as he gave Michael a squeeze on his shoulder before walking over to sit on the couch.

“Justin is the guy I gave my kidney to,” Brian said.

“And his dick was in his mouth because he’s Brian’s boyfriend,” Debbie added.

“ _Boyfriend_?” Brian and Michael said simultaneously.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Brian said to Debbie.

“I’m not?” Justin asked, disappointed.

Brian turned his head and looked at Justin. “Well…”

“What the fuck were they doing in my room?” Michael asked Debbie.

“They were up in  _Sunshine’s_ room because he lives here now, and Brian’s his… shit, whatever the fuck they’re doing.” Debbie said, shrugging.

Michael threw his hands up. “And who the fuck is 'Sunshine' supposed to be?”

“Justin,” Debbie clarified. “That’s what I call him, and Brian does too, apparently.”

Michael and Debbie both turned to look at Brian and Justin, but realized that they had gone back upstairs.

Michael began running back up the stairs. “You guys better not be going for another round!”

“Shit, this is even better than Jerry Springer!” Vic said as he got up to follow Debbie upstairs.

When the Grassi-Novotny clan got to the top of the stairs, they found Brian standing outside the closed door of Justin’s bedroom.

“Sunshine, will you please let me in?” Brian called out.

“Fuck off!” Justin yelled.

“Why didn’t you tell me you let someone move into my room?” Michael asked his mother. “I mean, shit, we just talked on the phone two days ago!”

“Why didn’t  _you_  tell  _me_ that you were coming home?” Debbie replied, hands on hips.

“I… uh…” Michael stuttered. “I only decided I was going to fly out yesterday, and I wanted to surprise you. I took a cab here from the airport.”

“Things didn’t work out with the doc, huh?” Brian asked, chuckling. “I knew that shit wouldn’t last.”

“No… uh, I mean…” Michael said, his eyes darting between the three people standing in front of him. “I’m just here for a visit.”

“Uh-huh,” Brian said before knocking on Justin’s door. “Justin, come on!”

“I said, fuck off!” Justin responded.

“Let’s leave these two alone,” Debbie said to Michael and Vic, motioning them towards the stairs.

“Why is he here, and not at home with his parents?” Michael asked, pointing toward the door. “Christ, he hardly looks a day over twelve! That’s like, statutory rape, Brian!”

“He’s eighteen, perfectly legal,” Debbie said. “His asshole father kicked him out after the transplant, and I offered him a place to stay.”

“Why? And how do you even know him?” Michael asked.

“He started working at the diner after you left. Of course, he’s taking a couple of months off to recover from the transplant.”

Brian pounded on the door with the side of his fist. “God damn it, Justin, open the fucking door or I’m gonna break it down!”

“Like hell you will! You break my door, I’ll break your ass,” Debbie said before shoving Brian out of the way. She then called out, “Sunshine? Will you please unlock the door, Baby?”

Michael rolled his eyes. “What the hell kind of a nickname is ‘Sunshine,’ anyway?”

Justin unlocked the door a moment later and Debbie, Brian, and Michael all shoved their way in. At some point, Vic had lost interest and gone back downstairs, realizing there wasn’t going to be any more hanky-panky for him to watch.

“Go away, Brian!” Justin yelled, his blue eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Michael pointed to the foot of the bed. “What happened to my trunk?”

“Me and Vic dragged it up to the attic to give Sunshine more room,” Debbie said. “And I don’t know why you didn’t take it with you or put it in storage. You haven’t lived here in years.”

Brian turned to Michael and Debbie. “Will you two get the fuck out of here?”

“Better yet, why don’t  _I_ just get the fuck out?” Justin said as he moved to leave, Brian following.

“Great idea!” Michael yelled behind him. “Don’t let the door hit you on your  _fat ass_  on the way out!”

Debbie smacked Michael on the back of his head.

“Oww! What’d you do that for?” Michael yelled.

Debbie leaned back to look at Michael’s denim-clad ass. “You have a lot of room to talk, Mr. Bubble Butt.”

********************

Brian followed Justin outside, snagging him by the back of his shirt once they got to the sidewalk. “Hold on,” Brian said.

Justin slapped Brian’s arm away. “Get the fuck away from me!”

Brian sighed. “We need to get a few things straight.”

“Like what?” Justin asked. “Let’s see if we’re both up to speed here: we made love last night before falling asleep in each other’s arms for the second night in a row, you spent who knows how much money for my art supplies today, and you don’t have the balls to admit that I’m your boyfriend in front of your friends. Is that straight enough for you?”

“First of all, that wasn’t ‘love making’ last night-”

“Oh, bullshit, Brian!” Justin yelled. “I’ve downloaded gay porn off the internet -  _that_ is fucking! What we’ve done is much more than that, both times we’ve had sex and when we’ve done other things. You can’t stand there and tell me that you treat all your tricks like you’ve treated me since the first time you blew me.”

Brian closed his eyes for a moment. “Justin…”

Justin scoffed. “Alright, humor me - what are we, huh? Lovers, fuck buddies, friends with benefits? Are you going to keep pretending like you don’t give a shit about me beyond anything physical, when it’s blaringly obvious that you do? Like what we have between us doesn’t mean jack shit?”

Brian looked around, noticing that a few neighbors were eavesdropping from their porches. “We… we don’t have to put a label on it.”

Justin looked up at the sky and shook his head. “You’re a fucking coward, you know that?”

He turned to walk away, but Brian grabbed him around his shoulders and wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Alright,” he said as he rested his cheek against Justin’s head. “I care about you. And you’re right - I’ve never treated a trick like I’ve treated you… because you’ve never been a trick. I’ve always made it a point to not give a shit about anyone but a select few people in my life, but now that I do give a shit about you, I don’t know what to do with you.”

Justin pulled Brian’s arms away and turned around to look at him. “You give a shit about me?”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Yes, twat, I do.”

Justin smiled. “And that scares you, doesn’t it?”

Brian looked down at his Nikes and huffed out a breath.

“You love me… so much!” Justin taunted.

Brian pushed him lightly. “Shut up.”

Justin stepped closer to him and looked up into his hazel eyes. “Just be honest with me, Brian. No more bullshit, okay?”

Brian put his hands on the sides of Justin’s neck. “I’ll try.”

He began to give Justin a kiss just as Michael opened the front door of Debbie’s house, his duffle slung over his shoulder.

Michael groaned loudly. “Brian!”

Brian held Justin’s lips a few more seconds before looking over at Michael. “What?” he replied in an annoyed tone.

“Will you give me a ride to Emmett’s place? It’s obvious that I won’t be able to stay here while I’m in town.” He enhanced that sentence by glaring at Justin.

Brian sighed. “Let’s go.” He then looked at Justin. “Later.”

Justin pulled Brian in for a hug. He then whispered into his ear, “I can hardly wait to taste you again… later.” He slapped Brian’s ass before going back into the house.

Brian chuckled as he walked around to the driver’s side of the Jeep and got in.


	20. Chow Down

Once Brian had pulled away from the curb, Michael took a deep breath.

“Don’t even,” Brian said, holding up his hand in a  _stop_ sign.

Despite his order, Michael started in. “So, who the fuck  _is_ that kid?”

Brian sighed. “We told you: Justin worked at the diner with Deb, I donated my kidney to him, and now that his homophobic asshole father knows that he’s a fag, he’s living with Deb and Vic in your old room. Capisce?”

Michael reviewed those facts for a second. “His dad threw him out of the house when he found out he was gay? That’s harsh. Not that I feel sorry for the kid, but…”

Brian huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. His old man was under the assumption that his sensitive, artistic, prettier-than-most-girls son was straight until he found the two of us sucking face in his hospital room right after I was released.”

Michael chuckled. “The guy had to be blind, to not see that the kid is gayer than a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles.”

“Nice analogy,” Brian said with a smile.

“Thanks. I just made that up.”

They arrived at Emmett’s (formerly Michael’s) apartment building in no time, as his place was conveniently only a few blocks from Debbie’s house. Michael continued to talk as he pulled his duffle out of the back seat and the two began walking up to the apartment.

“So, what, I guess you and the kid are fucking now, because he feels obligated-”

“He doesn’t feel obligated to fuck me, just because I gave him a kidney,” Brian snapped.

“Then why’s he fucking you?”

Brian looked at Michael like he was an idiot. “Since when does anyone need an excuse to fuck  _me_?”

“Well, I’m not saying he needs an excuse, but-”

“Just shut the fuck up, Mikey,” Brian growled as they walked up the stairwell to the third floor. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone.”

Michael snorted. “Yeah. I obviously landed in the Twilight Zone instead of Pittsburgh, because if I didn’t know you any better, I’d say that you actually have feelings for this kid and not just the ones in your dick.”

Brian kept his mouth shut as they got to the third floor and walked down the hall to Emmett’s door. Michael took his keys out of his pocket and inserted the correct one into the lock.

“You never gave him your key back?” Brian asked.

“No. I kept it for emergencies after I moved in with David.”

Michael opened the door, and the men were treated to an eyeful of Emmett lying naked on the dining room table, his long legs up in the air as an equally-naked muscular man fucked him roughly.

“Oh, yeah, give it to me!” Emmett yelled, obviously not noticing that he and his flavor of the day were no longer alone.

Brian and Michael waited for the two men to finish their business, gawking at them as if it were a car crash. Emmett and Muscle Man both soon came very loudly, and Michael cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Michael!” Emmett said as Muscle Man pulled out of him. “Brian! What a surprise!”

“I wish I could say the same thing, but this is the second time today…” Michael grumbled.

Muscle Man grabbed his clothes and dashed out the door without saying a word.

“Call me!” Emmett yelled after him as he used his shirt to wipe up his cum. “Or did I give him my number?” he asked himself. “Whatever...”

Emmett then turned to Michael. “Honey! When did you get back?”

“Just a little while ago,” Michael answered.

“I had no idea you were coming,” Emmett said before noticing the duffel bag slung over Michael’s shoulder. “Oh… um, you weren’t hoping to stay here, were you?”

“Well, yeah,” Michael said. “I thought I’d stay at my mom’s house, but now that Brian’s twink has taken up residence…”

Emmett tilted his head as he put his pants back on. “Brian’s twink?”

“Justin,” Brian answered. “He moved in with Deb and Vic on Monday.”

“Oh! That cute little thing,” Emmett said with a gap-toothed smile. “How’s he doing?”

“Well enough to suck Brian’s dick all of thirty minutes ago,” Michael sniped.

Emmett burst out laughing as he walked over to give Michael a hug. “I’m glad to hear that. They make an adorable couple.”

Michael curled his lip as he returned Emmett’s hug, his face turned away from Brian.

“But, Sweetie, uh… I’m afraid I don’t have any room for you here,” Emmett said.

Michael’s face fell. “Why not? What about my old room?”

“I can’t afford this place on my own, so I had to get a roommate. You know that guy Darren, better known as Shanda Leer? He and his boyfriend just broke up, so…”

“You’re living with a drag queen now?” Brian asked in amusement.

“Yeah. He moved in over the weekend, and it’s going great so far. He’s an awesome cook, plus he works at Macy’s in the Ross Park Mall and gets a fifteen percent discount. Of course, he has tons of products, so there is no extra space in the bathroom.”

Michael groaned. “Well, where the fuck am I supposed to stay?”

Emmett looked at Brian. “Why doesn’t Justin stay with you, and Michael can take his old room at Deb’s?”

“Oh, no,” Michael said, although it sounded more like  _oh HELL, no_. “I’ll sleep on Brian’s couch.”

Brian opened his mouth to protest, but shrugged instead. He hoped that Michael didn’t plan on staying for too long…

It was getting close to dinner time, so the three friends trouped downstairs and went over to the diner, where Debbie was just beginning her shift.

Soon after walking in, they spotted Justin and Vic sitting in a booth. Justin waved them over.

“Christ, that little fucker’s everywhere,” Michael griped.

“This is only the second time you’ve seen him,” Brian said before sitting down on Justin’s side of the table, earning himself a kiss on the cheek. Michael and Emmett sat on Vic’s side.

“Evening, boys,” Kiki the waitress, formerly Kenny the waiter, greeted them in a feminine tone. She was all decked out in a curly wig, a full face of makeup, her pink fifties-style waitress uniform, and pink pumps.

Michael looked up at her in surprise. “Whoa… uh, it’s Kiki now, right?” Debbie had previously informed him of Kenny’s transition over the phone, but he wasn’t quite prepared to see it in person.

Kiki gave him a big smile. “Hey, Michael, it’s nice to see you back. Did it not work out with Dr. Dreamy?”

“Um… yeah,” Michael answered, nodding vigorously. “We were originally going to come out here to visit together, but he’s too busy establishing his new practice in Portland.”

They each put in their orders: a garden salad with light Italian dressing and turkey sandwich on whole grain, no mayo, Perrier with lemon, no ice for both Brian and Justin; a Diet Coke and tuna melt for Emmett; a root beer and chicken fried steak for Michael; and a Coke and cheeseburger for Vic.

After Kiki left, Justin asked Michael, “So, you’re dating a doctor?”

“Chiropractor,” Emmett said.

“He can adjust me any time,” Vic added, all but Michael laughing.

Debbie soon walked over after delivering drinks to another table. “Hey, guys! Where’s Teddy?”

Emmett rolled his eyes. “He’s going to an over-thirty mixer at the GLC tonight, hoping to find his ‘true love.’”

Brian faked a gag. “Poor bastard, having to pick through a bunch of old farts to fuck…”

“Well, we all can’t be so lucky as to find someone who’s barely out of high school to fuck,” Michael said to Brian.

“Speak for yourself,” Emmett said. “That guy you just caught fucking me? He was like, twenty.”

Vic frowned. “ _Just_ caught? Damn it, I miss everything.”

Debbie walked away to tend to another one of her tables. Justin leaned over, cupped Brian’s crotch, and whispered into his ear, “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

Brian cocked an eyebrow at him. “We’ll be right back, guys.”

They slid out of the booth and walked towards the back of the restaurant.

“Jesus,” Michael said. “Does he need Brian to hold it for him?”

Justin and Brian walked into the bathroom and locked themselves into one of the two stalls. They kissed for a few moments while they pulled down each other’s pants.

Brian turned Justin around before rolling a condom onto his dick. He pushed himself into the young man’s ass, causing Justin to groan in discomfort from the lack of preparation.

“Sorry, are you okay?” Brian asked, mentally kicking himself for hurting the kid.

Justin braced his fingers over the top of the dividing wall of the stall. “Yeah… fuck me, Brian.”

Brian smiled as he began to pump into the blonde, licking the boy’s neck and ear. Justin pushed back eagerly against every thrust, his moans echoing off the bathroom walls.

“Shit, Sunshine, keep it down,” Brian whispered as he continued to thrust, his hands gripping Justin’s hips. “Fuck, you’re so tight…”

“I can’t help it,” Justin panted. “I love having your dick inside of me… ugh, harder!”

The door hinges squeaked a couple minutes later as someone pushed the door open. “Excuse me!” Michael yelled.

“We’re busy!” Brian yelled back, keeping up the pace with his young lover despite the interruption.

“Our food just came,” Michael said.

After a few more thrusts, Brian felt Justin clamp around him tightly as he sprayed his cum on the stall wall, which set off his own orgasm.

“So did we!” Brian said, making Justin giggle.

They heard Michael mumble something before he retreated.

The boys returned to the table a few minutes later, both wearing satisfied smiles as Justin sat down gingerly. They picked up their forks and started digging into their salads.

Michael cut into his steak violently, his face pinched in fury. He shoved a bite into his mouth, shaking his head and breathing loudly out of his nose as he chewed.

“How’s your steak?” Brian asked.

“Fine,” Michael growled.

The five men ate in relative silence until Darren came through the door a bit later, walking over to the counter.

“Hey, roomie!” Emmett called over to him.

“Hey!” Darren replied. “I’m just picking up a chicken sandwich to go. I have to get home and get ready- Shanda’s performing her tribute to Judy Garland at Woody’s from eight to ten tonight.”

“We’ll be sure to stop by,” Emmett said.

“Not me, I’m beat,” Michael said. He then asked Brian, “Were you planning on going out tonight?”

Brian shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it, but I might.”

“Well, if you do, try not to wake me up when you come stumbling in at whatever time.”

Justin asked Michael, “Why would Brian wake you up?”

“Because I’m staying at his place,” Michael told him, his voice dripping with smugness.

“Why are you staying with Brian, and not with Emmett?” Debbie asked Michael, her ears picking up their conversation as she walked by.

“Because Darren is living with me now,” Emmett said, pointing over at the skinny twink at the counter.

“Well, why doesn’t Sunshine stay with Brian, and you can stay with us?” Debbie suggested to Michael.

Emmett clicked his tongue. “That’s exactly what I proposed. Brilliant minds think alike, Deb.”

Michael made some noises in his throat as he tried to think. “No… I-”

“You had been planning on crashing with us before, right?” Vic asked Michael.

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Is that okay with you?” Debbie asked Brian.

Brian looked over at Justin, who was smiling his full-watt Sunshine smile. “Sure,” he answered with a smile of his own. Justin gave him a quick kiss.

“Then it’s settled,” Debbie announced. “Sunshine, go home and grab your meds and some clothes, and you can stay with Brian until… well, Michael, how long until you’re going back home to Portland?”

“Yeah, Mikey, how long?” Brian asked in a mocking tone, so sure that all was not well between Michael and David.

“Uh… only a few days,” Michael answered as he stared down at his plate.

Justin smiled in triumph at Michael. “Your Captain Astro sheets are in the linen closet upstairs.”

Michael looked up and gave him a fake smile back. “Great.”


	21. Summer Nights

“If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?*” Judy Garland’s voice sang over the sound system. Shanda Leer took a bow after the final lip-synched word of her finale.

The crowd applauded and whistled as Shanda was assisted off the stage by Emmett and Ted, the latter of which had shown up to Woody’s shortly after Shanda’s show began, alone after an unsuccessful GLC mixer.

“That was fabulous, Honey!” Emmett said to his roommate, who was wearing a short dark brown wig and a gold lamé dress.

“Awesome,” Justin agreed.

“Thank you, my darlings,” Shanda drawled.

As Emmett, Ted, and Shanda discussed going down the street to Babylon, Brian elected to make it an early evening for himself and Justin and head back to the loft.

“Yeah, I am kind of tired,” Justin said. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Brian leaned in and whispered in Justin’s ear, “And you won’t tonight, either.”

Justin smiled before he and Brian said goodnight to the others.

The two were soon naked in Brian’s bed. Justin was on his back while Brian kissed and licked his chest.

“What do you think about me getting my nipple pierced?” Justin suddenly asked.

Brian lifted his head to check out Justin’s rosy pink nipples, which were glistening with his saliva. “Which one?”

“I don’t know… the right one maybe?”

“What, this one?” Brian asked before biting down on Justin’s right nipple.

“Ow!” Justin yelled out.

“Still want it pierced?”

Justin rubbed his sore nipple. “Well, now I don’t!”

Brian chuckled as he moved Justin’s hand out of the way. He then swiped his tongue over Justin’s nipple before blowing a cool breath of air onto it. “Better?” he asked.

“Mm-hmm,” Justin sighed as he laid his head back on the pillow.

“It might be kind of hot though, if you did get it pierced,” Brian said. “But you’d think with all the needles you’ve been stuck with over your lifetime, and the three times a day you have to stab one of your fingers to take your blood sugar and then give yourself insulin injections…”

“Yeah, even after being stuck literally thousands of times with needles and lancets, I’m still not too crazy about it,” Justin admitted. “Getting stuck in a vein is the most painful though, but luckily I don’t have to get stuck during dialysis anymore… thanks to someone’s generous gift.”

Brian stretched up to reach Justin’s lips with his own. While they kissed, Justin reached his hand between their bodies to grab hold of Brian’s cock. Brian responded by reaching down and running a finger around the rim of Justin’s asshole.

The blonde sucked in a breath when the tip of Brian’s finger dipped inside of him.

“Does that hurt?” Brian asked, although Justin’s pinched face told him his answer.

“Just a little sore from earlier,” Justin said, referring to their quickie in the Liberty Diner men’s room. “Actually, more than a  _little_ sore…”

“Well, maybe you should start carrying some lube in your purse for the next time you want to get frisky outside of the loft.”

“It’s not a  _purse_ , it’s a messenger bag,” Justin said defensively.

Brian laughed. “That thing’s almost as big as Gus’s diaper bag, which I loathe lugging around when I take him out somewhere.”

“Well, it’s cooler than a fanny pack, which is what I used to carry my diabetic supplies with me until a couple of years ago.”

“That’s true,” Brian said before giving Justin a brief kiss. “And at least your bag is black, not baby blue with teddy bears on it.”

Justin smiled before Brian kissed him again, this time sticking his tongue into Justin’s mouth, which the blonde sucked on gently. Brian moaned and pumped his dick into Justin’s fist, which was still gripping him.

Although he didn’t want to hurt the boy any more, Brian knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with just a hand job. He pulled away from Justin and scooted down to the foot of the bed. He then grabbed Justin’s ankles and pulled him farther down the mattress.

“What the fuck are-” Justin asked.

“Lay on your left side,” Brian instructed.

Justin rolled while Brian moved so they were in the 69 position on their sides. The blonde quickly caught on after Brian took his cock into his mouth. He reciprocated, taking Brian’s leaking cock into his own mouth.

As much as he enjoyed giving Brian head, Justin found it difficult to focus on his task while Brian continued sucking him. He moaned around Brian’s dick, which he guessed Brian liked, since he echoed with a moan of his own. Without even thinking about it, he was able to relax his throat enough to take Brian deeper inside his mouth without gagging.

Justin hoped that he and Brian would cum together, but the blonde soon felt his orgasm rip through his body. Brian’s dick fell from his mouth as he screamed in pleasure.

After taking a few moments to catch his breath, Justin pushed on Brian’s thigh to make him roll onto his back. Justin flipped himself around so he was facing the same direction as Brian, and he engulfed Brian’s cock again. The boy continued to suck him for several more seconds until Brian’s warm cum filled Justin’s mouth.

Justin swallowed before flopping down on the mattress next to the other man. “Damn!” he yelled.

Brian chuckled. “You’re getting good at that.”

“Thank you,” Justin said proudly, his Sunshine smile on full display.

The air conditioner soon kicked on, and both men moved so they could climb under the duvet.

Justin laid his head on Brian’s chest as the older man wrapped his arms around him. “So, what’s the deal with Michael?” Justin asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he moved across the country last month to be with his boyfriend, and then today he just shows up out of the blue, without telling anyone he was coming?”

“Yeah… and?” Brian asked.

“And… well, I know I just met Michael, so correct me if I’m wrong, but it seemed like he was trying a bit too hard to convince us that everything was okay with him and his boyfriend.”

Brian huffed out a laugh, since he had the same observation. “Ever since he met the good old doc - emphasis on  _old_ \- I knew that the two of them wouldn’t last. Their lives are completely different, and Mikey became a whole other person with him… a person that none of us really liked, not even Deb.”

“How old is old?”

“Like, forty-something.”

Justin snickered. “Wow, he’s even older than you… and you’re like,  _old_.”

Brian tickled Justin on his side. “You little twat. Anyway, the last time I talked to Mikey on the phone, it was obvious that he wasn’t happy being in Portland. Even after packing all his shit and shipping it out there, Mikey debated going until right before he left to go to the airport. He almost missed his flight.”

“Do you believe him when he says he’s only staying here for a few days?” Justin asked.

Brian shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe they’re just taking a break, or maybe he’s home for good. He’ll tell me what’s going on eventually, in his own time. Mikey’s normally not very secretive… in fact, there have been many times over the years when I’ve said to him, ‘I really didn’t need to hear that,’ but when he’s ashamed or embarrassed about something, he doesn’t like to talk about it.”

Justin propped himself up on his elbow so he could look into Brian’s eyes. “What’s his problem with me? I mean, he was obviously pretty surprised to find me sucking your dick in his old room earlier, but he acted like such a shit towards me until we left Deb’s house after we dropped him off and I grabbed my stuff.”

Brian sighed. “It’s no secret that Mikey’s had a thing for me since we met in our freshman year of high school. He’s always been a huge geek, and although I hung out with the popular kids at my old school before we moved from the other side of town, I became friends with him. It was probably because we were both gay. I could tell that he was when I first saw him, and he was the first person I came out to.”

“When did you realize that you were gay?” Justin asked.

“I never thought I was straight, so it wasn’t like some light bulb went off in my head. I had a poster of James Dean on my bedroom wall when I was younger, and I thought he was so hot. I had my very first erection while staring at that poster one night, and it scared the shit out of me.”

Justin giggled. “You poor baby.”

Brian laughed along with him. “Yeah, but soon after me and Mikey became friends, I asked him if he was gay, and he said yes. Deb actually told him that he was gay when he was like, twelve, although she claims she knew he was gay when he was a baby. After I told him that I was gay, too, he asked me if I would be his boyfriend. I told him no, that I didn’t want a boyfriend, but he’s always held out hope that I would change my mind. Everyone always accuses me of leading him on, but I don’t think I do... at least, I don’t intend to.”

“Do you think he’s threatened by me?” Justin asked.

“Obviously. He knows I’ve fucked  _a lot_ of guys… hell, he’s seen me fuck several of them in the backroom at Babylon, along with walking in here without knocking and finding me in bed with a trick a few times, but it was obvious to him from the get-go that you are different. Shit, you were blowing me in his mother’s house, in his old bedroom for fuck’s sake! He’s certainly never walked in on  _that_ before, because it’s never happened.”

Justin thought about it for a few moments. “So… what if he really  _is_ back here for good? Where’s he going to live?”

Brian shrugged again. “Beats me. Mikey hated living by himself before Emmett moved in with him. He spent most nights at Deb’s or over here. Even though he’s an only child, he likes being around other people. Plus, he’s been out of a job for the past month, and he’d have to find a new one before getting a place of his own.”

“What about Ted’s place?”

“Ted has a small one-bedroom condo, and he’s such a neat freak that Mikey could never live there with all his shit. He has hundreds of comic books and action figures, and he owns more clothes than I do. He used Emmett’s old room for all that junk before Emmett ended up homeless when Godiva’s neighbor burned their apartment building down.”

Justin laughed. “Wow. How’d that happen?”

“The neighbor was a hooker who liked wearing wigs, and she sat one of them on fire with her curling iron. The only thing she had handy to put it out was a bottle of Vodka…”

The two men laughed together before Brian started kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *“Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from The Wizard of Oz (1939).


	22. The Sword of Damocles

Brian’s cell phone rang a little after 9:00 the next morning, a Thursday. Brian and Justin were still in bed asleep, and Brian let out a string of grumbled curses as he picked the phone up from his nightstand.

“What?” he growled into the phone.

“Brian?” Cynthia said. “Please tell me that you’re home, and not tanning your ass in some tropical paradise.”

“As appealing as that sounds, no. I’ve been taking a ‘staycation.’”

“Good, because Keith Meyers is here, and he’s pissed that you aren’t.”

Keith Meyers was the chairman of Meyer’s Linens, a line of luxury sheets and towels. That was the last campaign Brian had worked on before leaving to start his two-week vacation, and the Incompetent Twins, Bob and Brad, were to present the new campaign to Meyers and a few members of his board.

“Did you tell him that I’m on vacation?” Brian asked.

“Yes, but he said he didn’t give a shit… oh, hold on.”

There was some rustling in the background before Marty Ryder came on the line. “Kinney, get in here. Meyers is waiting.”

Brian looked over at Justin, who was still sleeping like a baby. “Ryder, I’m sure Bob and Brad can handle the presentation without me.”  _Probably not_ … _but I made it idiot-proof just for them_ , Brian thought to himself. “Or you could do it.”

“ _You_  were the one that recruited Meyers, and he expects  _you_  to give the presentation, so get your ass in here,  _now_.”

Brian sighed. “Fuck… alright, I’ll be there in half an hour.” He then climbed out of bed, gave himself a quick shave, and took a shower.

After drying off, he dressed in a brown D&G suit with a light blue shirt and brown and blue-striped tie. He took a couple of minutes to style his hair and returned to the bedroom, where Justin was still sleeping, snoring quietly while lying on his back.

Brian smiled before giving Justin a light shake by the shoulder. “Sunshine?”

“Hmm?” Justin moaned, his eyes still closed.

“I have to go into the office, but I should be back around lunchtime.”

Justin opened his eyes a bit. “’kay.”

Brian gave the blonde a light peck on the lips, used his fingers to comb some of the hair, which had grown out quite a bit since they first met, off his forehead, and regrettably grabbed his keys, wallet, and cell phone before leaving.

********************

Brian pulled the door to the loft open a few hours later, carrying a paper to-go bag. He sat the food on the kitchen island and noticed that the loft was eerily quiet. After looking over at the empty living room, he walked up the short staircase to the bedroom. He was surprised to find Justin still asleep in the bed.

He took a couple of minutes to carefully hang his suit back up in the closet and dressed in a sleeveless t-shirt and cargo shorts. Brian then laid on the bed next to Justin and kissed the blonde awake.

“Mmm… hi,” Justin said in a sleepy tone.

“Hey. Have you been in bed the whole time I was gone?”

“Yeah. What time is it?”

Brian looked over at the alarm clock. “Quarter after twelve.”

Justin slowly sat up. “Shit, I haven’t taken my meds yet.”

Brian retrieved a blue plastic daily pill holder from Justin’s duffel bag by the closet and tried to hand it to him.

Justin shook his head. “Those are my evening pills. My morning pills are in the red one.”

Brian put the blue pill holder back and handed him the red one, and then went into the kitchen to get him a bottle of water.

“I got us some chicken Caesar salads from that Italian deli down the street,” Brian said as Justin swallowed down his pills. “And I got a thing of sugar-free Jello fruit salad that we can split.”

Justin sat his pill holder and bottle on the night stand. “I’m not very hungry.”

“You have to eat something. You’re practically a skeleton,” Brian said. “Christ, I sound like Deb.”

Justin snickered. “I still have to take my insulin, too.”

“Well,  _you’ll_ have to do that, because I’m sure as hell not giving you a shot.” Brian pulled the duvet back, revealing a fully-naked Justin, licking his lips at the site of the boy’s erection. He reached into the duffel and threw the blonde a pair of boxer briefs. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but get dressed so you can eat.”

Brian took their food out of the bag and placed the containers on the dining room table while Justin put on his underwear and gave himself the shot. He put on a t-shirt, sweat pants, and socks before coming to sit down at the table.

“It’s fucking freezing in here,” Justin said.

“The thermostat is on seventy-two. It’s almost a hundred degrees outside,” Brian said. “Luckily the a/c in the Jeep works quickly, or I would have sweated my ass off out there.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Brian finishing his Caesar and half of the fruit salad while Justin picked at his lunch. “You feeling okay?” Brian asked, noticing that the boy wasn’t eating with gusto as he normally did or talking up a storm in between bites.

Justin shrugged. “I’m just tired. Someone has kept me up past my normal bedtime the last couple of nights.”

Brian smiled. “Sorry.”

“Sure you are,” Justin replied with a grin. “So why did you have to go in to work? I thought you weren’t due back until Monday.”

“Eh, it was just for a needy client who insisted I be there to hold his hand during a presentation. I then had to kiss his ass before he signed the contract. I told my boss not to expect me back in until Monday after lunch to make up for it.”

“Well, at least you know that you’re a valuable employee; that it’s hard for them to get by without you.”

Brian picked up his empty container to put into the bag on the counter. “I could have lost the account if I hadn’t been in town. If this had been a real vacation instead of time to recuperate after the surgery, I would be on a beach somewhere south, sipping margaritas served by a cabana boy in a thong.”

Justin frowned as he looked down at his food. “I’m sorry you sacrificed two weeks of vacation time because of me.”

Brian walked over to sit down next to Justin. “Hey… listen to me. Are you listening?”

Justin looked up into Brian’s hazel eyes. “Yes, I’m listening.”

“Some years, I don’t even get the chance to use all four weeks I normally get for vacation, and they roll over to the next year. Because I only took three weeks last year, I still have three more weeks to use this year, which I plan on using to go skiing in the Swiss Alps in December before Christmas.”

“Switzerland, really?” Justin asked incredulously.

“Hell yeah. I’ve gone once before, it’s awesome. I’ll also spend a few days in Milan to shop. And besides… it was worth the ‘sacrifice,’ as you called it. I don’t regret what I did for you, at all, okay?”

Justin nodded.

Brian gave him a kiss just before his cell phone, which he had placed on the bedroom nightstand, rang. He went to answer it, and Justin couldn’t help but overhear his conversation.

“Yeah? No, we just ate… What do you mean, ‘Who’s we?’ Me and Justin… Yes, where the fuck else would he be?” Brian paused for several seconds before saying, “Yes, he has friends his own age… No, I haven’t met any of them, but… No, I can’t. I’m only supposed to do light cardio for the next few weeks, no lifting… I have a treadmill here, why the fuck would I go to the gym if I can only use the treadmill?”

He paused again, and Justin could hear what sounded like Brian drumming his fingertips on the nightstand. “It’s none of your fucking business what I do with him… shut the fuck up.”

After a few more seconds of silence, Brian said to the caller, “Hold on.” He then called out to Justin, “Hey, do you want to go to Babylon tonight? They’re having a ‘Pecs of Death’ contest that starts at eight.”

Before Justin could utter a word in response, Brian asked the person on the phone, “Why not? He won’t bother… Alright, I’ll pick you up at eight.” Brian sighed. “Fine, seven. We can grab some Thai before we go. Later.”

Brian sat the phone on the nightstand and walked back out to the dining room. “He just wants it to be the two of us.”

“‘He’ being Michael?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, because ‘Babylon is  _our_ thing,’ even though I guaran-damn-tee that Theodore and Emmett will be there, too.”

“He doesn’t like me,” Justin said.

“Well, he can just get the fuck over himself,” Brian said. “He’s not had one boyfriend that I’ve liked, so…”

Justin’s eyebrows raised as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Am I your boyfriend, all of a sudden? What happened to ‘We don’t need to put a label on it’?”

Brian sighed and squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, mentally kicking himself for that slip of the tongue. “If that’s what you want to write in your diary, then yes, you and I are, for the lack of a better term, ‘boyfriends.’”

“Oh!” Justin yelled as he jumped out of the chair and into Brian’s arms, nearly knocking him backwards. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Brian said as he fought a smile.

Justin pulled back to look up at Brian’s face. “Now, tell me you love me.”

Brian shoved him away gently. “Fuck you.”

Justin laughed. “Alright, one step at a time.”

“Are you done?” Brian asked, referring to Justin’s partially eaten lunch.

“Yeah, I’m just not feeling very hungry right now. The insulin will kick in soon, and it will spark my appetite.”

Brian picked the containers up. “Well, I’ll put these in the fridge and you can finish them later, if you want. Most of the food Deb brought over last week probably needs to be thrown out, but there’s stuff for a sandwich.”

“By the way,” Justin said as he made his way over to sit on one of the barstools, “I don’t have a diary.”

“Oh?” Brian said as he started pulling old food out of the refrigerator.

“And I  _do_ have friends my own age,” he added. “Well, one…”

“That Daphne chick from your sketchbook?”

“Yeah. We’ve been friends since grade school. She’s my Michael, in a way. She was the first person I came out to.”

“And does she hold a candle for you, like Mikey does for me?”

Justin paused for a moment. “Well… she  _did_ ask me if I would take her virginity a few months ago.”

Brian smiled in amusement. “You fucked a girl, too?”

“No,” Justin replied adamantly. “I thought about it, and I decided that I wanted my first sexual experience to be with a man. And I admit that Daphne is a very beautiful girl, but I just couldn’t imagine doing that with her… or any other girl.”

“There are plenty of fags that have never fucked a girl before,” Brian said as he dumped a dish of leftover spaghetti into the sink.

“You’re not one of those fags, of course,” Justin reminded him.

Brian groaned. “Why did I have to tell you about my mad foray down the straight road?”

Justin smiled. “Nobody forced you to. Anyway, after I turned Daphne down, she ended up fucking some guy on the swim team, and he dumped her soon afterwards for a blonde bimbo cheerleader.”

“That’s because straight guys want to stick their dick into all the pussy they can get a hold of. How about you invite Daphne over tonight, so you’re not all by yourself while I’m out with Mikey? You can do each other’s nails, cry together while watching _Terms of Endearment_ , synchronize your periods…”

Justin took a breath to retort, but Brian cut him off by turning on the garbage disposal before dumping more old pasta into the sink.

********************

Justin pulled the door open and let Daphne in when she arrived a little after 6:30. She had with her a bag containing food from a local steak house that she and Justin frequented. He took the bag from her and began walking over to the dining room table.

“This is an awesome place,” Daphne said while she looked around the loft.

“The furniture’s all Italian- Milan,” Justin added. “Ooh, you’ve got to come see the naked guy.”

Daphne walked past the bedroom entrance closest to the dining room at the same time that Brian walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his cowry shell bracelet and a smirk. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she caught sight of Brian’s cock, which was half-erect for no good reason.

“Oh, my… oh, my God,” Daphne sputtered.

“Hey, the food fairy’s here,” Brian said before walking over to his closet.

Justin looked over at his friend, who was frozen in shock as she stared at Brian’s bare ass. “I didn’t mean  _that_ naked guy,” he cracked as he took Daphne’s hand to pull her away. “I meant the one in the painting over here.”

Daphne looked at the Attila Richard Lukacs painting behind the table, which wasn’t nearly as impressive as the living naked guy she just saw.

Brian walked out wearing a red button-up short-sleeved shirt and tight black jeans just as Daphne and Justin sat down for dinner.

“Daph, this is Brian,” Justin said.

“Yeah… I guessed,” Daphne said as she held out her right hand to the tall brunette.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Daphne,” Brian said before kissing the top of her hand.

Daphne giggled. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Brian held his arms out to the side and asked Justin, “What do you think?”

Justin puckered his lips as he looked at Brian head to toe. “I’d fuck you.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Brian said as he walked over to give Justin a goodbye kiss, which went on for several seconds before Brian pulled away. “What are you guys doing tonight?”

Justin shrugged. “Oh, you know- smoke some weed, download some porn…”

“Uh-huh,” Brian said as he gathered his things from on top of the kitchen island. “Well, I’ll try to be home before midnight, but don’t wait up. Bye, darlings.”

Daphne held her tongue until Brian closed the door behind himself. “Oh, my God… he is to die for!”

“I know,” Justin said, smiling widely. “And he’s all mine. He finally said that we’re boyfriends earlier.”

Daphne put her hand over her heart. “Oh… I’m so happy for you!”

“It’s like everything is  _finally_ going my way in my life,” Justin said. “I have a new kidney, a gorgeous boyfriend, and a shot at going to art school.”

“Too bad your dad’s still not talking to you, or your life would be perfect,” Daphne said as she cut into her steak.

Justin’s smile faded. “I don’t want to talk to him. If he can’t accept me for the man I am, fuck him. At least my mom is actually trying to accept me.”

“You don’t even miss him?”

“I miss the father he used to be, the father that loved me and was proud of me. But it turns out that that father wasn’t real, because he can only love me for who he wants me to be, and being gay is the last thing he wants of me. But it’s the only way I can be.”

Justin looked down at the meal Daphne had brought for him, which consisted of a bacon-wrapped filet, medium rare, with a baked potato and grilled asparagus. This was undoubtedly his favorite meal, and he would usually dig into it like a starving man, but it just didn’t appeal to him at the moment.

He took a bite of an asparagus tip and nearly gagged. Apparently, Daphne could tell that he wasn’t enjoying it.

“What’s wrong? Did they not cook it right?”

“No, it’s fine,” Justin said before taking a sip of water to wash it down. “My appetite hasn’t been that great today. A common side effect of my immunosuppressants is stomach upset.”

“Well, don’t force it down. You can reheat it later when you feel hungry.”

Justin put his food in the refrigerator next to his lunch he didn’t eat and rejoined Daphne at the table while she talked about her college plans. She had been accepted to Carnegie Mellon in the Health Professions Program, hoping to go on to medical school after earning her bachelor’s degree, and was excited that she would be living in the dorms.

After Daphne finished her dinner, they moved over to the seating area in front of the TV. She had brought along with her one of their favorite movies,  _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ , on DVD and they settled into Brian’s Barcelona chairs after putting the movie in.

Daphne glanced over at Justin a few minutes into the film and noticed that he wasn’t mouthing the dialog to “Dammit Janet” like he normally did. “Are you feeling okay?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m just a little tired.”

Daphne got up to feel his forehead, which was really warm and a bit sweaty. “I think you may be running a fever.”

Justin shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s just a little warm in here.” Which was a lie, because he had been feeling cold since getting out of bed that afternoon, plus the fact that he hadn’t eaten much that day meant his blood sugar was probably low, making him feel weak and a bit dizzy.

“Justin, you just got out of the hospital a few days ago after having surgery, and if you’re not feeling well-”

“I’m fine, Daph,” Justin replied forcefully. “Look, why don’t you just head on home and I’ll hit the sack. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Daphne looked at him with a serious expression for several seconds, but knew it wasn’t wise to argue with Justin over his health. “Okay… if you’re sure?”

Justin nodded as he hit the buttons on the remote to turn off the TV and DVD player. “Yeah, don’t worry.”

Daphne sighed before standing up. “Alright. I’ll leave the movie over here, and you can give it back to me sometime.”

Justin stood up to walk her to the door and had to fight to keep his composure. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Daphne gave her best friend a hug before leaving.

The door had hardly closed behind her before Justin ran to the bathroom. He kneeled on the floor in front of the toilet as he felt a wave of nausea hit him. He gagged several times, but nothing but acid came up.

After staying in the bathroom for a while, Justin flopped down on the bed after he was sure he wasn’t going to vomit. He was shivering at this point, although his clothes were soaked with sweat.

There were several lights burning throughout the loft, but Justin didn’t have the energy to turn them off. Instead, he pulled the duvet over his head and soon fell asleep.


	23. Hard Knock Life

Brian and Michael handed their menus over to the waiter after putting in their orders at their local Thai restaurant.

“So, was what’s-his-face pissed that you didn’t bring him with us tonight?” Michael asked before taking a sip of his Pepsi.

Brian scoffed. “First of all, you know his name is Justin, so cut the crap, and no, he wasn’t pissed. He invited his fag hag over for dinner.”

“He’s inviting people over to your loft now, like he owns the joint?” Michael said with a scowl.

“I told him to invite her over,” Brian said. “There’s no reason why he should sit at home by himself while-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Michael said, holding his hands up. “Excuse me…  _Home_? Suddenly, your loft is his home now?”

Brian sighed, trying his damndest to refrain from yelling at the other man and getting thrown out of one of his favorite restaurants in Pittsburgh. “Well that depends: how long are you staying in town?”

Michael suddenly became very interested in the design on the tablecloth. “I told you… for a few days.”

“Uh-huh… and how many is a few?”

Michael chewed on his bottom lip. “I…”

Brian reached across the table and lifted Michael’s chin, so he would have to look him in the eye. “You…?”

“Alright… I’m not going back to Portland,” Michael finally said. “Shit.”

Brian tried not to look too smug. “I know.”

“How? Did Ma tell you?”

“No, I figured it out all by my little self,” Brian mocked. “I knew it would only be a matter of time before you came back home for good. And how did your mom find out?”

Michael went back to looking down at the table cloth, clearly ashamed of himself. “I tried to go to sleep last night after you dropped me off, but I just laid there. So I took Ma’s car-”

“You mean that big-ass land barge she hardly ever drives?” Brian asked, referring to Debbie’s 1978 Lincoln Continental that lived in the alley behind her house. “The Pimp Mobile?”

Michael snickered as he recalled all the shit that he and Brian had talked about that car over the years. “Yeah, I was surprised it even started… Anyway, I drove around for a little while, and I ended up at Babylon. I met this really cute guy, and long story short-”

“Hell of a time to spare me the details,” Brian said.

“Long story short,” Michael continued, “I brought him home, and Ma heard us as she was coming in after getting home from work. She banged on the door until I answered it. After the trick left, she interrogated me for over an hour while I cried like a little fucking baby.”

“She should have been a cop,” Brian cracked.

Michael sighed. “I told her how I wasn’t happy in Portland, because I couldn’t find a job and David was so busy setting up his practice and spending time with his son… and on Sunday night, I told David that I wasn’t happy, and he said, ‘Well then, go home, Michael. Go home’.

“I spent the next couple of days packing and arranging for my stuff to get shipped back, and now I’m right back here where I started. Hell, I’m even lower than where I started; I don’t even have my own apartment.”

“Or a job,” Brian added.

Michael covered his eyes with his hands. “Ugh… before I know it, I’ll be waiting tables at the diner.”

“Hey, that’s better than mowing lawns or picking up dog shit at the animal shelter.”

The two men exchanged a smile, since they had each done all three of those jobs during summer breaks in high school. “That’s true,” Michael said.

Their food arrived shortly after, and Michael regaled Brian with Captain Astro’s latest adventures until it was time for them to head to Babylon.

Once they got inside the club, they quickly found Ted and Emmett standing near the bar. Upon seeing Brian, both Ted and Emmett began to clap.

“Hey, the king is back to rule over his loyal subjects!” Ted said.

Michael looked back at Brian with a puzzled expression. “Huh?”

“I haven’t been here since the night before the transplant,” Brian said before ordering a double Jack Daniels at the bar.

“Yeah, it’s been…” Emmett paused to count on his fingers. “Eleven whole days!”

Ted laughed. “I bet the floor of the backroom has never been so clean!”

“You wouldn’t know- you only get the guts to go back there once a year, maybe,” Brian yelled to Ted over the music.

Ted looked away sheepishly before taking a sip of his beer.

“So where’s that adorable little blonde of yours?” Emmett asked Brian.

“Who cares?” Michael yelled. “Let’s go upstairs so we have a better view of the stage.”

Michael led Ted and Emmett up to the second-level balcony, but Brian chose to stay downstairs and enjoy his drink without Michael’s mouth ruining his buzz. He ordered a second drink after quickly draining the first one, realizing how much he missed drinking at Babylon.

The “Pecs of Death” contest began shortly after with Sheeba, the Queen of Babylon, hosting. Many of the contestants were the same shirtless gym bunnies that always signed up for these kinds of competitions. He had already fucked several of them before, but Brian noticed one new face. He tossed back his third drink while the contestants flexed, and laughed when Sheeba cracked some pretty funny jokes directed at the men on stage. He turned down a few offers to go to the backroom.

After ordering his fourth drink, Brian watched the judging portion of the contest. New Face, who had some very nice pecs, came in second place.

“Oh… I guess I better go console the first loser,” Brian said out loud to himself before sitting his empty glass on the bar and making his way towards the stage.

********************

Brian and New Face came stumbling into the loft sometime after midnight. They made their way over to the bedroom, stripping each other of their clothes along the way.

Brian told New Face to wait at the bottom of the stairs before going up. “Hey, Sunshine!” he yelled as he smacked Justin on his ass a few times. “Come on, wake your lazy ass up and join the party!”

Justin sat up a bit and squinted into the light. “Brian?”

“Let me introduce you to our new friend,” Brian slurred, obviously fucked up. “This is… uh…”

“Kevin,” New Face said.

“Yeah, that was it,” Brian practically yelled. “Like I’ll remember  _that_  in the morning…”

“What the hell’s going on?” Justin asked in a raspy tone, silently willing Brian to keep his voice down.

He got his answer when Brian dragged Kevin up the stairs and over to the bed. Brian threw the duvet off and pushed Kevin onto the mattress.

“You’re wearing  _way_ too many clothes, Sonny Boy!” Brian said before he fell on top of the trick, their mouths connecting.

Justin managed to pull himself out of bed, shivering as the cool air hit him. “Brian, what the fuck!”

Brian ignored him as started running his tongue down Kevin’s well-muscled chest.

Justin leaned over and slapped Brian on his shoulder. “Brian!”

“What?” Brian yelled.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He scoffed. “Well, if you can’t tell, then obviously I’m a horrible teacher.”

Justin’s mouth dropped open as he watched Brian get back to his trick. Unable to watch another second of that, Justin pulled on his tennis shoes, grabbed his duffel and messenger bags, and stomped out of the loft.

He yanked the door shut behind himself and felt his head spin with dizziness. He leaned against the brick wall adjacent to the door for several moments, trying not to faint and/or throw up as hot tears ran down his cheeks.

“Why?” Justin choked out. “Damn it, Brian, why?”

The elevator was still at the top floor, so Justin stepped into it a moment later and hit the button to take him downstairs.

****************

Lindsay ran down the stairs as the doorbell continued to ring. “Alright, hold on!” she yelled as she turned the lock and pulled the door open. She was very surprised to find Justin standing on the porch, his eyes red from crying.

“Justin! What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry that it’s so late, but-”

“No, come in,” Lindsay said as she stepped aside for him to come into the foyer just as Melanie came down the stairs. “Honey, what happened?” she asked before taking Justin’s two bags from him and sitting them down on the floor.

“I was by myself at Brian’s earlier, asleep, and he brought some guy home from Babylon,” Justin answered tearfully. “He started fucking the guy right in front of me.”

“That son of a bitch,” Melanie muttered.

“How did you get over here?” Lindsay asked.

“I used the pay phone across the street to call a cab,” he answered before he put his hand over his mouth. “Oh, I’m going to be sick.”

Both women helped him upstairs and into the bathroom, getting him there just in time before he started retching into the toilet.

Melanie crouched next to Justin and put her hand on his sweaty forehead. “My God, Justin, you are burning up. Linds, get the thermometer.”

Lindsay reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small case holding their ear thermometer. After putting a new disposable filter tip on it, she placed it into Justin’s ear. It beeped a couple of seconds later.

She looked at the reading. “104. 2.”

“I’m calling an ambulance,” Melanie said as she got up to get the phone.

“No, I… I don’t want-”

“Justin, you just had a kidney transplant,” Melanie admonished. “You need to get to the hospital,  _now_.”

Lindsay sat on the bathroom floor with Justin a few moments later, holding a wet wash cloth to his forehead while Melanie called 911.

“Don’t call Brian,” Justin said weakly. “Please, don’t call him. I never want to see him again.”

Lindsay nodded in understanding. “Okay, I won’t.”

********************

Brian woke up the next morning feeling like his head had been put in a vice and squeezed until his eyeballs popped out of his head. He rolled over to put his arm around Justin, but was surprised to find a dark-haired, tanned, muscular man lying in Justin’s spot.

“Hey!” Brian yelled as he roughly shook the trick by his shoulder. “Hey! Wake the fuck up!”

The trick opened his eyes. “Huh?”

“Where the fuck is Justin?” Brian asked him.

The trick looked around, a confused look on his face. “Uh… what?”

“I said, where the fuck is Justin?” Brian growled, enunciating each syllable.

“Who’s Justin… and who are you?” the trick asked.

Brian groaned. “You have thirty seconds to get the fuck out of here.”

The trick threw his clothes on as Brian got up and walked naked around the loft. After seeing that Justin was nowhere to be found, he went back into the bedroom to grab the phone just as the trick was letting himself out.

Brian dialed the only number he could think of to call.

“Hello?” Vic answered.

“Hey, it’s Brian. Is Justin over there?”

“Uh… no,” Vic said. “I thought he was staying with you.”

“Shit… well, I don’t know where the fuck he is.”

Brian heard Vic asking someone in the background if they knew where Justin was. He then heard Debbie say that she thought he was at Brian’s.

Debbie came on the line a few moments later after Vic informed her that it was Brian on the phone, wondering where Justin was. “Brian? Why isn’t Sunshine there with you?”

Brian sighed as he tried to recall the previous night’s events. “I left him here with his friend… uh, whatever her name is, when I went to Babylon with Michael last night… and I must have drank too much or took too much of something, because I woke up this morning with a trick in my bed and Justin gone.” He looked down at the floor in front of the closet. “His stuff is gone, too. I don’t even know how I got home last night.”

“Shit,” Debbie said, obviously peeved. “I fucking told you, didn’t I? I told you-”

“Deb!” Brian yelled. “Cuss me out later, after you help me find Justin!”


	24. All I Care About

After hanging up with Brian, Debbie had called Jennifer’s cell phone and learned that Justin had arrived at Allegheny General Hospital in an ambulance early that morning with a high fever and very low blood sugar. Debbie called Brian back to tell him, and after throwing on a white t-shirt and jeans, he picked her up in front of her house about five minutes later.

Debbie started in on him the moment after Brian rocketed away from the curb. “What the fuck were you thinking, leaving Sunshine alone at the loft last night when he was sick?”

“Like I said, I didn’t leave him  _alone_ ; I left him with one of his friends. Plus, I didn’t know he was sick… I mean, I knew before I left that his appetite hadn’t been that great and that he was tired, but I didn’t know-”

Debbie scoffed. “Yeah, because you were more concerned with getting your dick sucked than to worry about someone else, as usual!”

“I didn’t go to Babylon to get my dick sucked!” Brian insisted. “I went because Michael asked me to.”

“Then why didn’t you stay with Michael, instead of going off with some trick? He, Emmett, and Ted came over to the diner right before my shift ended at midnight, and Michael said that you had split from them not even five minutes after getting there. Then the next time he saw you, you were in the backroom and some guy had your dick down his throat. He said that you were so fucked up that you were barely coherent. He was really looking forward to spending the evening at Babylon with you, like old times, but you ruined it.”

Brian thought about informing Debbie about how her little pride and joy had been shit talking Justin that evening, which made him not even want to be around Michael, but decided not to. He instead focused on the busy traffic around them as he pointed the Jeep in the direction of the hospital.

After finding a parking spot, they found their way to a family waiting room near the intensive care unit where Jennifer and Lindsay were sitting together, both looking exhausted. The normally-fashionable Jennifer was dressed in a plain pink t-shirt and black sweatpants while Lindsay wore a gray PIFA sweatshirt and red plaid shorts.

“Have you heard anything new?” Debbie asked Jennifer.

Jennifer shook her head. “It’s been about four hours since a doctor said they were trying to stabilize him. He’s been in and out of consciousness since they brought him in. They can’t run any tests until his sugar is back to normal and his temperature goes down a bit, and then it may be hours before they know what’s wrong with him.”

“Why are you here?” Brian asked Lindsay.

“Justin showed up at my house around one o’clock this morning, sick as a dog. Mel called for the ambulance, and I rode with him here while she stayed home with Gus. She had to be in court early this morning, and she dropped Gus off at Dusty’s house. Justin gave me Jennifer’s number on the way, and I called her when we got here.”

“Why didn’t you call  _me_?” Brian asked her in an angry tone.

“He asked me not to,” Lindsay said, standing up. “He was very upset with you, and I don’t blame him.”

Brian looked down at the floor. “I was drunk… I don’t even remember what happened last night.”

“Oh, you don’t remember bringing a trick home from Babylon and fucking him right in front of Justin?” Lindsay asked, her voice rough. “Justin, who was running a one hundred and four degree fever and throwing up, with blood sugar so low he could hardly walk? One of the medics said that he was surprised Justin even made it over to my house without collapsing!”

Debbie stepped between them. “Honey,” she said to Lindsay. “Let’s just try to stay calm while we’re waiting to hear something about his condition, okay?”

Lindsay wiped the tears from her face and nodded.

Jennifer stood and placed a hand on Lindsay’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep, and one of us will call you when we know something?”

“Okay,” Lindsay said before giving Jennifer a hug. “I’m sorry we had to meet like this.”

“Oh, me, too,” Jennifer said, chuckling a bit. “Thank you so much for being there to help Justin, and staying here with me all night.”

“Oh, it was no trouble at all. I’ve only known Justin for a few days, but I can tell that he’s a very special young man,” Lindsay said. “And I know I’d be worried out of my mind if my son was as sick as Justin is, and there was no way I could have left you sitting here alone.”

“Well, thank you again, Lindsay,” Jennifer said.

Lindsay gave Debbie a hug goodbye, grabbed her purse, and left the room without acknowledging Brian.

“How will you get home?” Brian called out to Lindsay as he walked into the hallway.

“I’ll call Dusty to pick me up,” Lindsay said over her shoulder.

Jennifer and Debbie sat down, and Brian walked back into the room and leaned against the wall.

“So… I’m guessing that his father didn’t come here with you last night?” Debbie asked Jennifer.

“After Lindsay called me, I asked Craig to come with me, and he said, ‘Why would  _I_ want to go?’ like Justin was a stranger to him or something.”

Debbie placed her hand on top of Jennifer’s. “I’m so sorry.”

Jennifer sniffed. “I never would have imagined Craig treating his own son like this. If I had known he would have disowned him after finding out Justin was gay…” Jennifer shook her head, unable to even finish that sentence.

“Do they… do they think he’s rejecting my kidney?” Brian hesitantly asked Jennifer.

“They don’t know. It’s always a possibility, especially so soon after the transplant. One of the doctors told me that Justin’s symptoms match those of an organ rejection, but they could also be from some kind of bug, like a virus or bacteria, that he contracted in the last couple of days. Because he’s on immunosuppressants, it makes it harder for his body to fight off infections. He may have even caught something when I brought him here Wednesday for his check-up.”

Debbie nodded. “That’s why Vic hates going into hospitals, because of all the germs. A bug that could give you or me the sniffles for a few days could easily turn into pneumonia for someone with a compromised immune system like Vic or Justin. When Vic goes in to get his routine check-ups, he wears a mask over his mouth and nose, just to be safe.”

Brian looked at Jennifer. “But if it’s not a bug… it  _could_ be that he’s rejecting my kidney?”

Jennifer bit her lip before nodding.

Brian took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before turning to walk out to the hallway, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. He walked several feet before taking a seat in a chair along the wall.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket and hit the speed dial for Michael’s cell.

“Hello?” Michael answered groggily.

“Get your ass over to the hospital,” Brian demanded.

“What? Why, what happened?” Michael asked.

“Justin’s sick. He might be rejecting my kidney.”

Brian could hear what sounded like Michael sitting up in his bed, the old mattress and bed frame squeaking. “What good would it do for me to be there? It’s not like me and him are friends-”

“Michael, just get in Debbie’s car and drive to Allegheny General, now.”

Brian gave him directions to find him in the building, and then snapped his phone closed before putting it back in his pocket.

Michael arrived about forty-five minutes later, during which time Brian had continued to work himself up into a state of utter emotional hell. He was carrying a paper coffee cup from McDonalds, which Brian snatched away.

“What the fuck took you so long? The hospital is only about twenty minutes from Deb’s house,” Brian asked before taking several gulps of the warm coffee.

“I had to take a shower, then stop to get some breakfast,” Michael explained as he took a seat next to Brian. “The line in the drive thru was ridiculous.”

“I’m so glad you were able to eat at a time like this,” Brian sarcastically replied.

“So what’s wrong with him?” Michael asked.

Brian shrugged as he stared at the tile floor. “They don’t know yet.” He then looked over at Michael. “What the fuck happened last night?”

“What do you mean, what happened? The usual.”

“Care to elaborate?” Brian asked. “Because the last thing I remember was taking a few shots of Jack, then nothing.”

“Well, after the ‘Pecs of Death’ contest was over, me and the guys went back down to the dance floor to look for you. We walked around for a little while, and then I went into the backroom. I asked Todd if he had seen you, and he said you were back there somewhere. I found you in the very back, and one of the contestants was blowing you. You looked tweaked out of your mind. I asked you what you had taken, and all you said was, ‘Duh.’ I went into the bathroom and found Anita, and she said she sold you some GHB.”

“No wonder I blacked out. What time was that?” Brian asked.

“Probably around 9:30. We decided to go over to Woody’s to shoot some pool and talk for a couple hours. I told them about me and David, and Emmett got on stage and sang ‘You’ve Got a Friend’ to cheer me up. I tried to call your cell to see if you had gone home or not, but it just rang and rang. We found your Jeep still parked in the same spot, so we went back inside Babylon. You and the trick were dancing and making out, and I asked you if you needed me to drive you home. Ted followed us to the loft, and I dropped you, the trick, and your Jeep off before the three of us went over to the diner.”

“And did you not even try to stop me from bringing another guy home, when you knew that Justin was there?” Brian asked.

“For all I know, you guys are into threesomes,” Michael said, shrugging.

“Apparently he’s not, because Justin was gone when I came to this morning. He somehow ended up at Mel and Linds’s house, because they were the ones that called him an ambulance.” Brian sat the empty cup on the floor and raked his fingers through his hair. “Christ, I shouldn’t have even gone last night. I could tell he wasn’t feeling like his normal self yesterday, but he said he was fine and insisted that I go with you.”

“Then don’t blame yourself,” Michael said. “You’re not his mother.”

As if they had been summoned by the gods, Jennifer and Debbie walked out into the hallway and towards the two men.

“Ma?” Michael said as he and Brian both stood. “What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing here?” Debbie said. “Sunshine’s sick; where else would I be?”

Michael rolled in his lips, realizing then how much Justin meant to Debbie.

“This is Justin’s mother, Jennifer,” Brian said to Michael. “Jennifer, Deb’s son, Michael.”

Michael and Jennifer shook hands.

“The doctor just came by with an update,” Debbie told Brian. “He’s finally stable enough for them to start on some tests to check his kidney function. It will be a few hours before they know anything. We were about to go down to the cafeteria. Would you like to join us?”

Brian shook his head. “But could you bring me some coffee on your way back up?” He pulled out his wallet, but Debbie said she would pay for it.

Brian sat down again, but Michael remained standing. “Why don’t you go back to the loft and get some sleep? You look like shit.”

“Thanks a fucking lot,” Brian said, “but I’m not leaving until I know if he’s going to be okay or not, and until I get to talk to him.”

Michael opened his mouth to argue, but silently retook his seat. 


	25. What Have I Done?

At noon, about four hours after arriving at the hospital, Brian was still sitting in the chair in the hallway of the hospital. Michael had gone into the waiting room with Debbie and Jennifer to watch the small television mounted to the wall while they waited for the latest update on Justin’s condition, but Brian chose to stay where he was.

The reason he had planted himself there was because of the way Jennifer had looked at him earlier that morning. She had obviously heard what had happened to make Justin leave the loft, and Brian was unsure of how Jennifer felt about it. Was she angry at him? Disgusted? Would she even want Brian in Justin’s life after this?

Additionally, Brian had no idea what Lindsay may have told Jennifer in the nearly seven hours the two of them had sat together before he and Debbie had arrived. How much did Jennifer know now about his colorful past? Did she know that he was the father of Lindsay’s son? How would she feel about Justin being involved with a man that had a child… a child Brian only bothered to visit a few times a month when it was convenient for him?

And would Jennifer blame him for Justin’s illness, if it were indeed caused by a viral or bacterial infection? Would she blame him for taking Justin out to public places, like the grocery store, the diner, and Woody’s, so soon after his surgery, which would have exposed Justin to who knows how many germs? Would she now be concerned with Brian giving Justin an STD, since she knew he was sexually active with other men… if she hadn’t already been concerned before?

If the doctors determined that Justin’s body was rejecting Brian’s kidney, would Jennifer blame it on the fact that Brian lived such a reckless lifestyle? Would she think that if Brian hadn’t gone out to drink, take drugs, and have sex with anonymous men the previous night, Justin would have gotten to a doctor much sooner and the rejection might have caught before it did any damage?

Brian squeezed his eyes closed as his thoughts went back to Justin. What if the blonde really  _was_  rejecting his kidney? What then? Would the doctors be able to stop his immune system from rejecting it to the point of the organ shutting down completely, forcing Justin to go back on dialysis? And if he did have to go back on dialysis, what would that mean for his dreams of going to PIFA and becoming an artist? How many years would it shed from his life? Would Justin see the rejection as a sign that Brian should not be a part of his life?

Unable to ignore his growling stomach any longer, Brian stood up and walked down the hallway toward the elevators, where he remembered passing a vending machine on his way in. Once he got to the machine, he took a dollar out of his wallet, fed it into the bill slot, and pressed the buttons to select a bag of pretzels.

He watched as the coiled metal rod rotated, pushing the pretzel bag forward. Unfortunately, the rod stopped rotating before the bag dropped, and now the bag was stuck against the glass window of the machine.

Brian groaned and placed his hands on the top ledge of the machine. He gave the machine a few rough shakes, but the bag barely budged. He shook it harder, but the bag still refused to come loose.

“Son of a bitch!” Brian yelled. Without even thinking, he pulled his right arm back and punched the glass.

The glass, luckily, did not break. Brian, however, felt and heard something in his hand pop, and a flash of pain shot up his wrist.

“Shit!” Brian screamed as he bent at the waist, clutching his painful right hand with his left.

At the same time, a couple of nurses from the nearby nurse’s station walked over. “Are you okay, sir?” one of them asked.

“No, I’m not okay!” Brian replied. “I think I broke my fucking hand!”

********************

Debbie and Michael found Brian in the emergency waiting room a half an hour later. Brian was sitting in a chair, and he had his right hand wresting on a pillow in his lap. An ice pack sat on top of his hand.

“What the fuck, Brian?” Michael asked.

“You punched a vending machine?” Debbie asked.

Brian sighed. “It wouldn’t give me my pretzels.”

Michael and Debbie looked at each other, and then back at Brian. All three let out a chuckle.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Debbie said as she took a seat in the chair to Brian’s right. Michael took the chair on Brian’s other side.

Brian nodded. “I… I lost my temper.”

“Obviously,” Debbie said. “But you had other things on your mind than just the machine stealing your pretzels, right?”

“Did you get any news before you came down here?” Brian asked.

“Right before a nurse came and told us about you hurting yourself, Justin’s kidney specialist came in and said they’re prepping him for a biopsy,” Debbie said. “They’ll give him a local anesthetic and use a long needle to get some tissue samples. After that, he’ll be moved back into intensive care for a few hours so they can monitor him closely. He’s still running a fever, but it’s not as high as it was last night. The biopsy can cause bleeding, so they’ll watch for that. Since he’s an urgent case, they should have the results of the biopsy back by morning.

“When he came in for his check-up on Wednesday, they did an ultrasound of his kidney and it looked fine,” Debbie continued. “They also took some blood and urine samples, which they got the results of this morning. They didn’t show anything wrong. They’ve been monitoring his fluid output since he came in here. He’s not urinating blood or retaining excess fluid, which is a great sign.”

“So… it is safe to assume that he’s  _not_ rejecting my kidney, that he just has the flu or something?” Brian asked.

“At this point, it doesn’t look like he’s rejecting the kidney, but they won’t know for sure until they get the biopsy results back, along with the results of the CT scan they did and the blood they drew earlier.”

Brian exhaled a sigh of relief and looked down at his lap. “I wish I had known that before I tried to buy those fucking pretzels…”

Debbie and Michael both snickered.

“We were actually about to leave before we heard that you were down here, because visiting hours might be over by the time we’re able to see him today,” Debbie said. “Only immediate family can see him in the ICU.”

A door opened, and a nurse called Brian’s name.

“Well, that was quick,” Michael said as he helped Brian stand while supporting the pillow under his hand.

Debbie looked around the waiting room, which only contained a few people. “Yeah, fortunately they’re not too busy right now or we could have been waiting out here for hours.”

“Why don’t you guys go and get some lunch?” Brian asked. “No telling how long it will take back there.”

“You sure you don’t want us to go back and sit with you?” Michael asked.

Brian shook his head. “That’s alright. I’ll call you when I’m done here.”

********************

Two hours later, Brian took the elevator back up to the intensive care floor. He stopped to look at the evil vending machine. His bag of pretzels was now gone, most likely after someone bought the bag behind his, resulting in them getting his bag for free along with theirs. The bastard…

Brian’s right hand was now in a splint that immobilized his pinky and ring finger. An x-ray had revealed what is called a “boxer’s fracture,” which is when you break one or more of the metacarpal bones in your hand- the bone that connects the bone in your finger to the bone in your wrist. Brian had broken the metacarpal connecting to his right ring finger, which would require him to wear the splint for at least the next six weeks for it to heal properly.

He returned to the chair he had occupied that afternoon. Using his left hand, he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Fumbling with the phone, he managed to dial Michael’s cell phone number.

“Hey,” Michael answered. “Is it broken?”

“Yep,” Brian said. “I’m now sporting a lovely splint, and I have to go to a hand specialist next week to get an MRI to make sure I didn’t tear any ligaments or anything. It’s too swollen to tell right now. It hurts like a motherfucker.”

“So, you’ll be jerking off left-handed for the next couple of months?” Michael cracked.

“Looks like it,” Brian said, although he hoped that Justin would be the one servicing his cock for him… “It’s going to be a bitch, driving with this thing.”

“Well, I’ll have Ma drop me off at the hospital, and I’ll drive you and the Jeep back to your loft.”

“Uh… no,” Brian said. “I’m going to stay here.”

“Brian,” Michael said with a sigh. “I was there when the doctor said that nobody but immediate family will be able to see Justin until tomorrow morning. There’s no point for you to sit around the hospital, especially when you’re in pain.”

“I thought Deb said they weren’t keeping him in the ICU all night,” Brian said.

“They said they’d probably move him into a regular room in a few hours, but visiting hours may be over by then.”

“Visiting hours end at eight,” Brian said, knowing that from his own stay at the hospital. “That’s like, six hours from now. If there’s any chance I’ll get to see him…”

“Brian,” Michael whined.

“Bye, Mikey. I’ll call you later,” Brian said before ending the call.

He then got up and walked down to the family waiting room that Jennifer and everyone else had been sitting in earlier. He peeked inside the room, but Jennifer was no longer there. Following the signs, he walked farther down the hall and went into the main waiting room to the ICU.

Brian found Jennifer sitting on a couch, reading a magazine. He walked over to stand in front of her, and she looked up at him.

“Hi,” he said to her awkwardly.

“I heard about your vending machine assault,” she said, looking at his splint.

Brian snorted. “Yeah… it won. Luckily, I didn’t break through the glass or I’d probably have stitches, too, along with having to pay to replace the glass. Hell, they may have even arrested me for damaging their property.”

“Did you break any bones in your hand?”

He nodded. “Just one. Have you gotten to see Justin yet?”

“Yeah, I just left him. They only let you go in once every hour, for ten minutes,” Jennifer said. “We won’t know for sure what’s wrong with him until the morning. He’s really groggy, but he’s hanging in there. They’re making him lay on his stomach for a couple hours, after they took a tissue sample for a kidney biopsy. He told me to go home and get some sleep, but I’m going to stay long enough to see him one more time.”

“Did, uh… Did you tell him I was here, or…?” Brian asked.

Jennifer nodded. “He said he never wants to see you again. I told him that you were really worried about him, but he said, and I quote, ‘I don’t give a fuck how he feels.’”

Brian sighed as he took a seat on the couch next to her. “Look… Jennifer, I don’t know how you feel about me now, but-”

“Brian,” Jennifer interrupted. “I’ll admit that you’re not one of my favorite people right now, but I have other things to worry about.” She paused and quietly added, “Like my own relationship.”

Brian decided not to press for details, not wanting to discuss anything having to do with that asshole, Craig Taylor.

“Whatever is going on with you and Justin, is between you and Justin,” Jennifer said.

Brian found that refreshing, since he was so used to having to defend himself to everyone when he fucked up. Since he did not want to force Jennifer to endure him any longer, he got up and went downstairs to the cafeteria to find something half-way edible to eat.

********************

Brian returned to the ICU a few hours later, after he knew Jennifer would be gone and Justin may have been moved into a regular room. He went over to the desk, where a nurse was sitting.

“Could you tell me if Justin Taylor has been moved into a regular room yet?” Brian asked her.

After typing Justin’s name into the computer, the nurse said that yes, Justin was now out of ICU. She gave Brian the room number, and he sat off to find it.

Brian located Justin’s room, and he was happy to see that the door was open. He slowly walked in and found Justin asleep on his back.

Although he knew that Justin normally slept like a rock, Brian stepped quietly over to the blonde’s bedside. Not wanting to disturb him, Brian sat down in the chair next to the bed.

He had been sitting there for about fifteen minutes, staring over at the beautiful young man, when a nurse carrying a meal tray walked into the room. The nurse smiled at Brian before sitting the tray down on the rolling bedside table.

“Mr. Taylor?” the nurse yelled to get Justin’s attention. “We need you to try to eat dinner.”

Justin jumped slightly, and his eyes opened. He looked around the room and locked eyes with Brian.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Justin said in a raspy voice.

“Sunshine…” Brian said.

“I said, get the fuck out!” Justin repeated, his voice getting louder with each word.

“Sir,” the nurse said to Brian. “If he doesn’t want you here, you should respect his wishes.”

Brian refrained from telling the nurse to go fuck herself and looked down at Justin one last time before leaving the room.


	26. It's All Over

Brian awoke when he heard Michael calling his name.

“Brian!” Michael yelled through the partially-opened window of the Jeep.

Brian turned the key in the ignition and rolled the window the rest of the way down. “What?” he asked.

“Did you sleep out here?” Michael asked, seeing as how Brian had the seat reclined and was still wearing the same clothes he had on the day before.

“Yeah, so?” Brian asked as he adjusted his seat back upright.

“ _So_?” Michael said. “You once refused to go camping with us in the Poconos because you’d be sleeping on a cot, and here you are spending the night in your car? I mean, when was the last time you showered?”

Brian thought about it. “Thursday morning, two days ago.”

Michael made a disgusted face before opening the driver’s side door. “Move over, I’m taking you home.”

“No, I need to go inside to see if Justin’s test results have come back,” Brian said as he tried to push Michael out of the way, hurting his broken hand in the process.

“No,” Michael said sternly, “you need to take a shower, change your clothes, and brush your teeth- you smell like a jock strap. Then we can come back here.”

Brian sighed in defeat before he moved over to the passenger side. “What are you even doing here? What time is it?”

“Quarter to seven,” Michael said as he got into the driver’s seat and turned over the engine. He had to reach over to help Brian put on his seat belt. “Ma had to go into work, so she dropped me off here. I tried to call your cell last night, but it went straight to voicemail.”

“The battery died, because it hasn’t been charged in two days,” Brian said as Michael pulled out of the parking space.

“Then I called the loft, and when you didn’t pick up I figured you were still here,” Michael continued. “Ma dropped me near your car, but the last thing I expected to find was you asleep in it.”

Brian pulled the Velcro straps loose on his splint. “Shit, this hurts worse than it did yesterday. Good thing I still have some Vicodin at home, left over from my surgery.”

“They didn’t give you anything for your hand?” Michael asked.

“No, they said to take over-the-counter stuff, but fuck that.”

After arriving at the loft, Brian took off the splint and stripped off his stinky clothes. He stepped into the shower and turned on the water as hot as he could stand it.

He realized how much trouble his hand was going to be over the next several weeks as he tried to wash his hair. Putting the shampoo bottle in the crook of his right elbow, he popped the top open with his left hand. He poured some shampoo into his swollen right hand and felt a jolt of pain as he tried to lather his hair with his fingertips.

“Ow, fuck!” Brian yelled.              

Michael came into the bathroom a few moments later. “What’s wrong?”

“My fucking hand, of course,” Brian growled.

“Do you need some help?”

“I can handle washing my hair left-handed, but I won’t be able to wash my body with one hand.”

Michael opened the glass shower door. “Give me the soap.”

Brian handed over his French milled soap, and Michael grabbed a clean wash cloth and lathered it up for him in the sink. He gave the bar back to Brian, but Brian didn’t reach out for the wash cloth after putting the soap back on the ledge.

“I can’t wash my left arm,” Brian said.

Michael reached inside the shower and soaped up Brian’s left arm for him.

“Christ, this is embarrassing,” Brian grumbled.

Michael snorted. “What? I’ve seen you take a shower at the gym before… many times.”

“No, I can’t even shower by myself,” Brian answered as he took the wash cloth from Michael to finish washing the rest of his body with his left hand. “The doctor in the ER said that the hand specialist may put me in a hard cast next week after the swelling goes down, and I won’t be able to get that wet at all. Hell, I won’t be able to do a damned thing by myself.”

Michael went over to the sink to rinse the soap off his hands. “I could come and stay with you here, and help you out when you need me to. I am kind of homeless, you know.”

He heard Brian sigh and mumble something.

“What?” Michael asked.

“I was hoping that Justin would… never mind.”

“What, that Justin would be coming back here?” Michael guessed.

“Well… yeah,” Brian said. “But he threw me out of his room last night.”

“You were able to see him?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t want to listen to me.”

Brian got out of the shower a couple minutes later, and Michael helped him dry off.

“Get me one of those pills out of the medicine cabinet, will you?” Brian asked.

Michael found the bottle of Vicodin, and Brian swallowed one with some tap water.

Brian then looked at himself in the mirror. “I need to shave, but I’ll probably cut the piss out of myself if I do it left-handed.”

Michael ended up shaving Brian’s face for him, and then got his tooth brush ready so Brian could brush his teeth.

“You should have thought about this before you punched that machine,” Michael said.

Brian rinsed his mouth and said, “I didn’t think beyond that moment, obviously. The last thing I ever punched was a tree trunk when I was a teenager, but I didn’t break my hand.”

Michael recalled seeing Brian’s hand after that episode, which was caused by one of Brian’s many arguments with his mother. “Yeah, but you bloodied your knuckles up pretty bad.”

“It was either bloody up my knuckles or bloody up Saint Joanie’s face.”

********************

After running by a coffee shop and grabbing some coffee and bagels, Michael drove himself and Brian back to the hospital. Brian led the way up to Justin’s room.

“Will you go in and see if Jennifer’s in there?” Brian asked Michael in the hallway. “Wouldn’t want Sunshine to scream at me to ‘get the fuck out’ again.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Is the Stud of Liberty Avenue actually scared of a little blonde twink?”

“Just go in there, smartass,” Brian said through gritted teeth.

Michael chuckled before walking into the room, where he found Justin propped up in bed watching something on TV. His mother was sitting in the chair next to the bed, and she was working on a cross-stitch pattern.

Justin scowled at him. “What the fuck are  _you_  doing here?”

“Good morning, Michael,” Jennifer said, ignoring her rude son.

“You two met?” Justin asked his mother.

“Yeah, he was here with Debbie and Brian yesterday,” Jennifer answered, surprising Justin.

“Speaking of Brian, he’s out in the hall,” Michael said to Jennifer.

“Oh,” Jennifer said before standing up and putting her cross-stitching on the chair. She told Justin she’d be back in a minute before walking out into the hallway with Michael.

“Have they gotten his test results back yet?” Brian asked Jennifer, cutting right to the chase without exchanging pleasantries.

“Yes. Dr. Collins called me around six o’clock this morning,” she said, unable to hold back from smiling. “Justin’s biopsy, CT scan, and blood tests were fine- he’s not rejecting his kidney.”

Brian huffed out a breath, a look of pure relief appearing on his face. “That’s great.”

“What made him sick then?” Michael asked.

“They think he just caught a stomach virus in the last few days, which caused the high fever and poor appetite. The fact that he couldn’t eat all day made his symptoms worse because he has type 1 diabetes. He was still giving himself his insulin, but when you don’t eat after you inject it, it can cause an insulin overdose and a dangerous drop in blood sugar.”

“But why didn’t he tell anyone he was sick, before he ended up at Melanie and Lindsay’s house?” Michael asked. “I mean, Brian said that Justin seemed kind of sick on Thursday afternoon, but…”

Jennifer sighed. “Justin has always been this way,” she said in a hushed voice. “Ever since we found out he was diabetic when he was six, he’s been secretive about his health. He would lie to me and his father about monitoring his blood sugar, taking his insulin, and watching his diet like he knew he was supposed to, and then we’d end up having to rush him to the emergency room a few times a year. He would also pretend like he wasn’t sick when he actually was, because he absolutely hated going to the doctor. The older he’s gotten, the more stubborn he’s become about his health. He’s gotten a lot better about taking care of himself since his kidneys failed a couple years ago, but I wasn’t really all that shocked when he was rushed here in an ambulance the other night.”

“So, it’s his fault that he ended up in here?” Michael asked. “If he had just told someone earlier that he wasn’t feeling well, instead of being so stubborn-”

“Michael,” Brian said in a warning tone. “It’s not Justin’s fault that he’s lying in that hospital bed.”

“Then whose fault is it?” Michael asked.

“Mine,” Brian said. “If I had just stayed home with Justin the other night instead of going to Babylon with you, I would have realized how sick he was. I would have made him eat something before his blood sugar got so low and I would have dragged his ass to the hospital before his temperature got so high, even if I had to carry him out kicking and screaming.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Jennifer said to Brian. “Justin knows by now that he has to be careful with his health, and he certainly knew that he should have at least called a doctor to see if he should come in and get checked out,  _way_  before he got so sick. I mean, Lindsay told me that her partner had to demand that Justin go to the hospital-”

“Oh, so this is  _my_  fault, Mom?” Justin asked from the open doorway of his room, his hand wrapped around his IV stand.

“Honey, I didn’t say that,” Jennifer said.

“Then what are you saying?”

Jennifer bit her lip as she walked closer to her son. “Justin…”

“You know what? How about all three of you just get the fuck out of here, huh?” Justin then directed at Jennifer, “I don’t need you constantly reminding me that I’m too fucking stupid to take care of myself.”

“Justin!” Jennifer said in disbelief. “I’ve never insinuated anything like that!”

He then looked at Michael. “And I certainly don’t need you talking shit about me, when you don’t even know me.” Finally, looking at Brian, he said, “And I don’t need you…  _period_.”

Justin turned around to drag the IV stand back into his room.

Jennifer tried to follow him. “Justin, please-”

“Go home, Mother!” Justin yelled. “Go back to your husband- you two deserve each other.”

“I’m leaving your father,” Jennifer informed him.

Justin paused and looked back. “What?”

“You heard me,” Jennifer said. “I’ve actually been thinking about it for a long time, but after the last couple of weeks, I’ve decided that I absolutely cannot be with a man like that anymore. A man who is so closed-minded about gay people, that he would disown his only child solely because of his sexual orientation.”

“You… you’re leaving him because of me?” Justin asked, his eyes welling up with tears.

Jennifer walked over and placed her hand on Justin’s cheek. “I’m leaving him for the both of us, Baby. No matter what you are or what you do, you’re still my son and I’ll always love you.”

Justin gave her a little smile before wrapping his arms around her. “I love you, too, Mom. I’m sorry for-”

“None of this is your fault,” Jennifer assured him. “You didn’t ask for any of this to happen to you, and it’s not your fault that you got sick this time.”

“But you’re right. I should have told someone that I wasn’t feeling well and I wouldn’t have gotten so bad.”

Jennifer shook her head. “What’s done is done, and what’s important is that you’re going to be okay once this virus runs its course.”

Michael put his hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

He began to steer Brian away, but Brian stood rooted to the spot. “Justin-”

“Brian… it’s over,” Justin said, tears running down his cheeks. “We clearly want different things in our lives, and we’re better off going our separate ways.”

Brian didn’t say anything, but he continued to stare into Justin’s eyes until the blonde turned to walk back into his room. Jennifer followed him inside.

“You heard him. Let’s go,” Michael repeated.

“No,” Brian said. “It’s not over until he gives me a chance to explain. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Were you not listening? The kid said that it’s over. He doesn’t want you anymore… and I think you’re better off without him and his baggage, anyway.”

“Shut up, Michael,” Brian snarled. “Nobody asked you. Just get the fuck out of here, okay?”

“I’m not leaving you here,” Michael said. “How will you get home? It’s not safe to drive when you’re on Vicodin and with your hand the way it is.”

“Fuck off, Michael!” Brian yelled before throwing his keys at him. “Take the Jeep and get out of my face.”

“No, I’m not leaving without you!”

Suddenly, a security guard came walking towards them. “Gentleman, would you mind taking this outside? This is a hospital, where a lot of sick people need some peace and quiet.”

Brian looked at the guard with fire in his eyes. “Why don’t you mind your own fucking-”

“Brian!” Michael yelled as he grabbed the other man’s shoulders. “Can we please go before you get us both arrested?”

After a brief stare down with the guard, Brian turned around and began walking toward the elevators to leave, Michael following behind him.


	27. Without You

A few hours after getting back to the loft, Brian was lying on his couch while Michael sat in one of the Barcelona chairs. Johnny Cash’s “Home of the Blues” was playing on the loft’s surround sound system and Brian was singing along in between puffs on a joint.

“The sun never shines through this window of mine. It’s dark at the home of the blues,” Brian sang out, slightly off-key.

“Jesus Christ, this is depressing,” Michael grumbled.

“Hey, I asked you if you wanted to share this with me, but you said no,” Brian said before taking another puff.

“I’m the designated driver, I can’t,” Michael said, waving the second-hand smoke out of his face.

Brian blew out another cloud of smoke before continuing to sing: “So if you just lost your sweetheart, and it seems there’s no good way to choose. Come along with me, misery loves company. You’re welcome at the home of the blues.”

“Wonderful,” Michael said dryly.

Although Brian had tried to put on a brave front after they had left the hospital, Michael knew that Brian was torn up inside after Justin’s rejection.

“What the fuck was I even thinking, getting involved with some eighteen year-old blonde boy, anyway?” Brian asked on the way home. “I mean, this is  _me_  we’re talking about. I never do repeats, right?”

“Mm-hmm,” Michael said as he stared ahead at the road.

“I’m not going to lie- the kid was a great fuck,” Brian continued. “Ass as tight as a fucking drum… and even though he was a virgin when I got a hold of him, he was a natural. That kid was born to suck and fuck.”

“Really?” Michael said, although it wasn’t a question.

“And although he’s a short, skinny thing, his dick was perfect. Not as big as mine, of course, but it was beautiful.”

“Did you let him top you?” Michael asked.

“No… but I was tempted to,” Brian confessed.

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Wow.”

“But, he’s history now,” Brian said as he waved his left hand dismissively. “Just like the rest of them.”

“Uh-huh,” Michael said, not trying too hard to mask his doubt.

Back at the loft, Elvis’s “Heartbreak Hotel” came on the CD changer next, and Michael couldn’t stand it anymore after Brian warbled out the first couple of verses. Despite the fact that Brian was now thoroughly toasted after taking another Vicodin to relieve the pain in his hand after getting home, he was nearly in tears.

“Youmake me so lonely baby, I get so lonely. I get so lonely I could die…” Brian sang pitifully.

“Alright, that’s it,” Michael said as he stood up. “I’m going to go and get us something for lunch and when I get back, you better be in a happier mood.”

“I  _am_ happy,” Brian claimed, appearing anything but. “Why shouldn’t I be? I’m young, I’m hung, I’m drop dead gorgeous… I’m fabulous. In fact, I’m the most fabulous fag in Pittsburgh… if it’s even possible to be a fabulous fag in Pittsburgh.”

“Right,” Michael said before yanking the door open. “Just promise me that you’ll stay on the couch until I get back, that you won’t do anything stupid?”

“I couldn’t get my ass up from this couch if it caught on fire,” Brian said.

Michael then walked back over and picked up Brian’s lighter that was sitting on top of his belly. “In that case, I better take this.”

“Asshole,” Brian snarled before Michael closed the door behind himself.

******************

A half an hour later, Michael walked down the hallway of the hospital with authority. He turned into Justin’s room, where the blonde and his mother were finishing up lunch. Michael noticed that Justin was now without his IV line, which was a good sign that he was getting better.

“Can I speak to Justin alone, please?” Michael asked Jennifer.

“Do you ever knock?” Justin asked in an annoyed tone.

Jennifer picked up her drink and her purse. “I need to run an errand, anyway.”

“Mom,” Justin said, willing her to stay.

“I’ll be back in an hour or so, Honey,” Jennifer said before leaving.

Michael walked behind her to close the door, then walked back to stand in front of Justin’s hospital bed. “Alright, you little shit-”

“Excuse me?” Justin said.

“For your information, Brian is a complete fucking mess right now, and it’s all your fault.”

“Oh, it’s  _my_  fault?” Justin asked. “So  _I_  made him bring a trick back to the loft when he knew full well I was there?”

“No, but you didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself.”

“What’s to explain? Brian obviously wants to fuck whoever he wants, whether I like it or not. He did a great job proving that the other night.”

“Brian only did that because he had been drinking and took GHB, which is a dangerous to combine with alcohol but also makes you hornier than hell,” Michael said. “He doesn’t even remember taking the GHB or bringing that trick home, which means he blacked out.”

“Well, they say that your true self comes out when you’re drunk or on drugs, so everything that Brian did that night was what he wanted to do.”

Michael scoffed. “I almost fucked a girl when I was drunk at a party back in high school, and that’s certainly not my ‘true self,’ so I don’t know who the fuck your source is. We only stopped because I couldn’t get it up. Whether it was the alcohol or the fact that I’m allergic to pussy, I don’t know…”

Justin rolled his eyes.

“The point is, Brian didn’t go to Babylon the other night to get his dick sucked or to find a trick to bring home,” Michael continued. “That’s just what ended up happening, because he let his drinking get out of hand.”

“Well, I really don’t want to be involved with a guy that has to drink or do drugs to have a good time,” Justin said. “Especially when I’m not even supposed to do any of that stuff, ever. And I wouldn’t want to have to worry about him every time he goes somewhere without me.”

“Then that’s something you need to discuss with Brian, but if he was able to stop smoking, which he’s been doing every day since he was like, twelve, then he can quit the other shit, no problem. He doesn’t do drugs every time he goes out, and he doesn’t always drink that much.”

Justin sighed. “It’s not just the drugs and the drinking. I want to be with a man that only wants to be with me, who doesn’t feel the need to fuck other guys, whether he’s drunk, high, or not.”

Michael crossed his arms over his chest. “Justin… you’ve got to understand what it’s like to be a guy like Brian. I don’t know how much he’s told you about his childhood, but he had it rough growing up.”

Justin nodded. “He told me that his dad was an abusive drunk and his mom was a heartless bitch.”

“That sums it up, yeah,” Michael said. “He never felt loved or felt like he was anything special. Then when he was fourteen, he suddenly realized that there were guys out there that wanted him. We would sneak out and go over to Liberty Avenue, and guys would line up for the chance to suck his dick or take it up their ass. He was in heaven, and it only got better the older he got. Brian never gets turned down, like, ever. Even other tops will bend over for him. He’s built his life on his ability to fuck whoever he wants… and then you came along.”

“I’m sorry I ruined his perfect life,” Justin said sarcastically.

“No, his life wasn’t ‘perfect,’” Michael said. “Actually, Brian thought his life was over shortly before he met you. He almost killed himself the day after he turned thirty.”

“What?” Justin asked, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah. It was the day before I was to leave with David to move to Portland. Emmett was throwing me a Bon Voyage party at his apartment, and everyone but Brian showed up. Me and David ended up having a fight because I was pissed that he was trying to make all of my decisions for me, and I went over to the loft to get away from David and to see why Brian didn’t come.

“I knocked on Brian’s door, but he didn’t answer. His Jeep was parked outside, so I knew he was in there, plus I could hear music playing through the door. I used my key to get in, and I found Brian hanging from the rafters.”

A look of horror came over Justin’s face. “Hang… hanging?”

“He had looped a scarf around one of the ceiling beams, and then he climbed up on one of the dining room chairs and tied the scarf around his neck,” Michael said. “To make matters worse, he was jerking off at the same time.”

“Autoerotic asphyxiation,” Justin said.

Michael raised a questioning eyebrow. “And where did you learn about that?”

“I can read, you know.”

Michael chuckled. “Well, I climbed up on the chair and pulled him loose. He had been drinking and snorting coke, but he basically said that he didn’t care if he had killed himself or not. He felt like he had nothing to live for, because God forbid there was now a three in front of his age.”

“Well, thirty is old,” Justin said.

“I’m thirty, so fuck you,” Michael said.

Justin gave him a smile.

“Seeing him like that almost made me not go to Portland, but I ultimately decided to go because I loved David. I still love him, but…”

“You love Brian, too,” Justin pointed out.

Michael nodded. “Yeah, I do. But over the past couple of days, I’ve realized that he loves you… more than he’ll ever love me.”

A look of shock came over Justin’s face. “Did he actually say he loved me?”

“No, but he didn’t have to. You should have seen him yesterday when we didn’t know what was wrong with you. He was nearly out of his mind with worry… I mean shit, he even broke his hand after punching a vending machine!”

“He did what?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, did you not notice the splint on his right hand?”

Justin shook his head. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“He tried to buy a bag of pretzels from the vending machine on the ICU floor, and when the bag got stuck against the glass, he punched the glass, which thankfully didn’t break. And even after sitting in the ER for nearly three hours and knowing that he may not have been able to see you last night, he hung around the hospital on the chance that he’d get to talk to you.”

“And I threw him out,” Justin said, guiltily looking down at his lap.

“Yeah, you did,” Michael said. “But even after that, he still didn’t want to leave you. He ended up sleeping out in the Jeep, because he didn’t want to go home until you gave him the chance to explain himself.”

Justin’s jaw dropped. “He spent the night in the Jeep?”

“Oh, yeah, I found him in there this morning. I practically had to force him to go home and get himself cleaned up. I had to help him in the shower, and I had to shave his face for him.”

“I bet you loved getting to see him naked,” Justin said in a smarmy tone.

“I’ll admit that I enjoyed the view, but he needed my help,” Michael said. “He was in a lot of pain. I tried to get him to take a nap, since I’m sure he didn’t sleep worth a damn in the Jeep, but he insisted on coming back here to see if your test results had come back yet.”

Justin sighed. “And then I threw him out again.”

“You didn’t just throw him out - you dumped his ass. But even then…” Michael paused to chuckle. “Even then, Brian didn’t want to leave. He threw his keys at me and told me get out of his face.”

“I thought I heard you guys yelling out in the hall,” Justin said.

“A security guard came over and asked us to get out because we were making too much noise. Even with his broken hand, Brian was a heartbeat away from going at it with the guard before I told him he was about to get us arrested. Now he’s back at the loft singing sappy old love songs.”

Justin put his hands over his eyes. “God.”

“I have never seen him like this before,” Michael said. “Even when his father was in the hospital earlier this year dying of cancer, Brian never once went to visit him. If it hadn’t been for that security guard, he’d still be holding vigil out in the hallway.”

“Even if my dad never speaks to me again, I’d at least try to see him one last time if I knew he was dying,” Justin said.

“Well, maybe you’ll feel different if that day ever comes,” Michael said. “But if Brian showing that much concern for you proves anything, even after you threw him out of your room and told him you were through with him, it’s that he wants you in his life.”

Justin picked at a hangnail for a few moments. “Why are you doing this? I mean, I thought you hated me. I would have imagined that you’d be thrilled to get me out of Brian’s life.”

Michael smirked. “I admit that I don’t see what Brian sees in you, but for whatever reason, Brian loves you. More than anything, I want Brian to be happy, and if you can make him happy…”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Michael walked over to answer it and found a nurse standing outside.

“Hi, I need to take Justin’s blood pressure and temperature,” she said.

Michael stepped aside for her to come in.

He then looked at Justin and said, “You know where to find him, if you change your mind.”

Justin looked at Michael with a blank expression before Michael left the room.


	28. All I Ask of You

The next morning, Brian was lying awake in his bed. He had kicked Michael out the previous evening, wanting to be alone. Sleep had been fitful for him, the pain in his hand combined with thoughts of Justin keeping him awake. Although he was used to sleeping alone in his king-sized bed, he now found it too large without another warm body in it beside him, specifically the body of a pale blonde boy who drooled in his sleep.

Deeming the loft much too quiet sometime around dawn, Brian had turned his stereo back on. The Everly Brothers’ “All I Have to Do Is Dream” was playing, and Brian was quietly singing along.

“I need you so that I could die, I love you so and that is why whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream, dream, dream, dream…”

He was interrupted when the house phone rang. He rolled over and saw an unfamiliar local number with “Cellular Call” as the name on the cordless phone’s caller ID.

“Yeah?” he answered before he heard a click, signaling that the caller had hung up.

“Fucker,” Brian grumbled as he sat the phone back on the night stand.

The song faded a minute later, and Solomon Burke’s “Cry to Me” from the  _Dirty Dancing_ soundtrack followed.

“When your baby leaves you all alone and nobody calls you on the phone…”

Brian snorted at the irony before someone began knocking on his door. He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was a few minutes before ten.

He remained in bed, hoping that the person would go away. They knocked a second time, followed by a third.

“Shit,” Brian said as he threw the duvet off. “Alright, I’m coming!”

He threw on a pair of old sweat pants and walked barefoot over to the door. After turning the lock and pulling it open, his breath caught in his throat when he found Justin on the other side, the boy’s messenger bag slung over his shoulder and his duffel at his feet.

“Hey,” Justin said.

“Hey,” Brian answered back a few moments later after finding his voice. “What… what are you doing here?”

“I can leave, if…” Justin said, pointing his thumb towards the elevator behind him.

“No!” Brian said a little more frantic then he meant to. “I… I just meant that I wasn’t expecting you… you know, since you were in the hospital just yesterday.”

“They let me out this morning,” Justin said. “I still don’t feel quite like myself, but the doctor said there was no reason for them to keep me any longer.”

Brian nodded. “Was that you that just called and hung up?”

“Yeah, I used my mom’s cell to make sure you were awake before I got out of her car,” Justin said, smiling guiltily. He then looked inside the loft over Brian’s shoulder, partly to make sure no one else was in there with him. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Brian said before picking up Justin’s duffel and bringing it inside for him.

“Thanks. Mel and Linds brought my stuff to me yesterday evening. They think that Gus is going to start walking very soon,” Justin said as he walked in. He pulled the door closed and took a seat on the couch.

“That’s great,” Brian said. Unsure of what he was supposed to do, Brian sat the duffel on the coffee table and took a seat at the other end of the couch.

The music had now changed over to “I Only Have Eyes for You” by the Flamingos.

“Wow, this is an old song,” Justin said as he placed his messenger bag on the floor.

Brian nodded. “I’ve always enjoyed music from the fifties and sixties. That’s one of the few good things that I can credit to my parents.”

“So… how’s your hand?” Justin asked as he eyed Brian’s splint.

“It hurts like hell,” Brian answered. “Did someone tell you what happened?”

“Michael told me yesterday that you punched a vending machine after it stole your pretzels.”

“When did you talk to him?” Brian asked, replaying the events of the last few days in his head and wondering when Michael would have had the chance to talk to Justin.

“Yesterday after lunch. He came back to the hospital after he took you home.”

Brian looked up at the ceiling as he suddenly recalled that it did take Michael much longer than it should have to pick up their food from the diner the previous afternoon. At the time, he was too stoned to notice how much time had actually passed. “Mikey…” he sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m glad he did though, because otherwise I wouldn’t have come here… not that I have anywhere else to go, since I assume he’s still staying at Deb’s house.”

“Remind me to thank him later,” Brian said. “What did he say?”

Justin moved to the middle cushion to get closer to the brunette. “He made me realize that I may have been hasty in my decision to dump you before I heard your side of the story.”

Brian had to bite his bottom lip to refrain from making a smartass remark about having to actually be in a relationship to be dumped, because he had to admit that what they had, as brief as it was,  _did_ constitute as a relationship.

“He also told me how worried you were about me before we found out what was wrong with me,” Justin said. “Then he told me what it was really like to walk in Brian Kinney’s shoes… at least from what he’s seen over the years.”

Brian sighed as he looked into the young man’s blue eyes. “Justin… I just want you to know-”

Justin placed his fingertips over Brian’s lips. “You don’t have to say anything, Brian.” He then ran his fingers through Brian’s adorable bed-rumpled hair. “I think I know why you did what you did.”

“You do?”

Justin nodded. “You’ve never been in a relationship before, and once you got to Babylon around all the alcohol, drugs, and men, you couldn’t help yourself. Maybe some part of you even felt smothered by me, since I was suddenly thrust into your life and your bed. You’ve spent half of your life being the Stud of Liberty Avenue, partying and fucking whoever you wanted, and I imagine that it’s hard to let that go.”

Brian placed his good hand on the side of Justin’s neck. “I really didn’t mean to drink as much as I did that night, and I didn’t intend to take drugs on top of it. Before you came around, I used to drink almost every day. Not always to get drunk, but to just to feel a buzz and relax at the end of the day. I’ve cut down my drinking a lot since I offered to give you my kidney, but once I got to Babylon and had that first drink-”

“The floodgates opened,” Justin finished for him. “I get it. I thought about this all last night, and I realized that part of why I got so upset was my fault. I know that we never discussed the details of our relationship. You never said that we would be monogamous, but I just assumed that we would be, especially since I would be staying with you until Michael made other arrangements. I never wanted to imagine you actually being with anyone else, and when you brought that guy home and started doing to him what you’ve done to me- kissing him, licking him… fucking him- in what I thought of as ‘our’ bed…”

“I was stupid,” Brian said. “If I had ever stopped to think that I could be risking what I had with you, I wouldn’t have even gone to Babylon that night. Shit, if I had known you were sick, there’s no way I would have left your side.”

“I should have told you that I wasn’t feeling good, but I didn’t want to hold you back from going out with your friends, and I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

Brian grabbed onto Justin’s left hand with his. “None of this is your fault, Sunshine. Okay?”

Justin looked down at their clasped hands and nodded. “You really hurt me, Brian, whether you meant to or not.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Brian said as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against Justin’s. “I’m so fucking sorry. You deserve so much better than me. I’m no good for you.”

Tears sprang to Justin’s eyes as he shook his head. “Don’t say that. You don’t know how good you are, Brian. You’re a caring friend, a loving father, and what you did for me, giving me your kidney without me even asking… you’re amazing. Sure, you have flaws, but who doesn’t?”

The next song that began playing was “Save the Last Dance for Me” by the Drifters.

Justin pulled away from Brian and stood up. “Dance with me.”

Brian stood up, and the two of them walked around to the other side of the coffee table. Brian raised his left hand and Justin placed his right hand into it. Brian rested his injured right hand against the small of Justin’s back as Justin draped his left arm around Brian’s shoulders, and the two of them began swaying to the music. Brian pulled the blonde closer after the second chorus.

“Baby, don’t you know I love you so? Can’t you feel it when we touch? I will never, never let you go, I love you, oh, so much…” Brian sang into Justin’s ear.

Justin pulled back to look up into Brian’s hazel eyes. “You do? Really?”

Brian nodded. “It took me losing you to realize it, but I love you, Sunshine. I didn’t even think it was possible for me to love someone like I love you, but I do.”

That earned him a big Sunshine smile before Justin planted a kiss on him. “I love you, too,” Justin said against Brian’s lips before kissing him again.

After the song ended, the stereo changed over to “Light My Fire” by the Doors and both men chuckled.

“You don’t even have to try to light  _my_ fire,” Brian said as he picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned off the stereo.

“Brian,” Justin said. “If we’re going to be together, I mean  _really_  be together, we need to set up some rules so this doesn’t happen again.”

“What kind of rules?” Brian asked.

Justin sighed. “As long as I’m staying here with you, I don’t want you bringing other guys home. If you are going to fuck other guys when you’re out, I don’t want to know about it, and it would be courteous if you showered before coming into bed with me.”

Brian nodded. “I think that’s fair.”

“But at the same time, I don’t want you staying out all night,” Justin said.

“I’m going back to work tomorrow, remember? Although I won’t be able to do much more than bark orders at my minions until my hand heals, I won’t be staying out too late on weeknights. And you’re free to go out whenever you want without me, too. You won’t be going back to work for another month, and the earliest you can start school is in January. You’ll be able to drive again soon, too.”

“Well, what about on the week _ends_?” Justin asked. “How about on Friday and Saturday nights, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you be home by two?”

“Four,” Brian offered.

“Three,” Justin countered.

Brian rolled in his lips. “Alright, three. That goes for the both of us.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else but you,” Justin said. “You’re all I need.”

Brian smirked a little. “That’s up to you.”

“Also, you never fuck anyone more than once. No names or numbers exchanged,” Justin added.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I don’t do repeats… besides you, of course.”

“So then that shouldn’t be a problem?” Justin asked.

Brian shook his head. “Anything else?”

Justin thought about it for a moment. “One more: you never kiss anyone on the mouth, other than me. Deal?”

Brian sealed the deal with a searing kiss.

“You want to come and help me take a shower?” Brian asked him a few moments later.

Justin gave him another smile. “I’d love to.”

********************

_Six months later…_

“Yes!” Brian shouted as he came shortly after Justin did. He held onto the condom as he pulled out, then threw the rubber into the trashcan next to the bed before taking his blonde into his arms.

The boys were in a suite on the top floor of the Grand Hotel Kronenhof in Pontresina, Switzerland. They could see the lightly falling snow from their window, along with the snow-covered mountains in the distance. Keeping true to his pre-Christmas plans, Brian brought Justin to Europe with him after Justin’s doctor happily cleared him to go. They had spent their days during the previous week skiing and their nights making love, and they would be flying to Rome the following day so Justin could see the museums and ancient architecture. After staying a week there, they would go to Milan so Brian could shop.

Shortly after getting back together, Justin had applied to PIFA with a glowing recommendation letter from Lindsay. He had been accepted a few months later, but hit a snag after Jennifer informed him that Craig refused to pay for his tuition. Upon learning this, Brian insisted that Justin allow him to pay for it. After thinking about it for a few days, Justin accepted his offer on the condition that he would pay Brian back in full within ten years. Justin had wanted it to be five, but after an incredible blow job, Justin agreed to ten, given that it may be a long time before he made any money on his art. He would begin his classes the following month.

“Oh, that was great,” Justin panted as he wrapped his arms around his man.

“Mm-hmm,” Brian said.

Justin pulled away to look at him curiously.

“What?” Brian asked.

Justin squinted at him. “You’re thinking about something.”

Brian smirked. “And how do you know that?”

“Well, for one thing you normally tell me how awesome it was after we make love.”

Brian shrugged. “Maybe this time wasn’t that awesome. In fact, I think you’re losing your touch.”

“Bullshit,” Justin said as he playfully began tickling Brian’s sides, which always made the older man giggle like a little girl. “Say that it was awesome!”

“Alright, alright! It was awesome!” Brian yelled.

“Thank you,” Justin said. “And two, I can always tell when you’re thinking something. You get this look on your face.”

“What look?”

“I don’t know… just this…” Justin tried to emulate the ‘look’ he was referring to.

“So I look constipated when I’m thinking about something?” Brian asked.

Justin started tickling him again.

“Okay! I’m thinking about something,” Brian admitted in an attempt to halt the tickle-fest.

“See? You can’t get anything by me,” Justin said smugly. “What are you thinking about?”

Brian sat up. “Well, I think I’m tired of wasting so much money every year on condoms.”

Justin sat up next to him and looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Huh?”

“I did the math, and I figured that since we usually fuck two or three times a night, that would work out to about eighteen times a week. There are twelve condoms in a regular-sized box, which means we go through one and half boxes of condoms per week.”

“Okay…”

“And a box of condoms costs about twelve dollars on average, so that’s eighteen dollars per week, times fifty-two weeks in a year equals $936 dollars per year that I spend on condoms.”

“Wow,” Justin said, feeling like he was having a conversation with Annie the ex-math teacher from the dialysis clinic (who he now had lunch with a few times a month).

“Do you know what we could buy with an extra thousand dollars per year?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged. “A shit load of lube?”

Brian smiled. “That’s a great idea.”

“Yeah, but…” Justin was about to comment on the fact that the condoms they used together weren’t the only ones that Brian bought, but stopped. “Are you suggesting that… we start doing it bareback?”

Brian snuggled closer to him. “I haven’t been with anyone but you since I had my last HIV test nearly three months ago. Actually, it’s been about four months since I’ve even thought about fucking anyone but you.”

“Really?” Justin asked, a touch of amazement in his voice.

“Yes,” Brian confirmed. “Have you been with anyone else lately?”

Justin placed his hand on Brian’s bare chest. “Brian, I told you I didn’t want to be with anyone but you and I meant it. You’re the only man I’ve ever been with, and the only man I want for the rest of my life.”

Brian gave him a soft kiss. “Well, how about after we get home, I get tested just to make sure I’m clean, and then we start spending our condom money on more lube instead?”

Justin smiled. “Brian Kinney, that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

~~The End~~

**Author's Note:**

> I have no personal knowledge of any of the medical-type stuff in this story. Google is my best friend!


End file.
